Bullies, the Joke is On You!

I love to joke around and laugh more than anyone. But I realize now, that what I may view as funny, may be the brunt of someone else's pain. It took me some time to see that many of my jokes were hurtful insults to others.

If we look at comedians today like Larry the Cable Guy, Eddie Murphy, George Lopez, and many others, their stand up shows all have one thing in common--they're belittling or bullying someone to make others laugh. Don't get me wrong, these are some of my favorites. BUT while their jokes can be hysterically funny, not everyone is amused... no, rather abused.

Pranks are funny too. I've played pranks and practical jokes on nearly everyone I've known. Most of them pranks were harmless. But a prank that happened recently in West Branch Michigan to a high school student, Whitney Kropp, wasn't so innocent. No, her pranksters set out to embarrass, humiliate and chastise her in front of her whole school.

They nominated her for homecoming court as a practical joke. A teenage prank. Seemed innocent enough. They'd all get a good laugh.

Whitney learned of the prank and was horrifically humiliated and even wanted to end her precious life. Her pranksters probably thought they had the upper hand. What a joke!

BUT thankfully, her school, her city, and her entire community came together to support her and she defeated her bullies and won! She didn't retaliate, she simply stood up for herself, and she wore her crown proudly that night!

Now the whole world is supporting her!

In honor of National Anti-Bullying Month--October--My hearts cry is that every school, city, and community would stand together like this against all forms of bullying and set the innocent victims free.

Whitney Kropp is a SURVIVOR!

Bullies, the joke is on you!

Written by: Lisa Freeman, Motivational Bully Speaker in Michigan, CEO of Abuse Bites, Healing Projects Specialist Bully Police USA

I Wanted To Change, But How?

I remembered saying this one time prayer in the fifth grade at a school release program to accept Jesus into my heart. I prayed the words, I wanted it to be real, but it never felt real to me. 

I wasn’t new and different like they said I would be. I felt exactly the same, having the same shameful feelings from all of those boys and men in our neighborhood who had put their hands and bodies all over me. I didn’t feel loved and accepted. I felt dirty and like God was angry with me and could never accept me. 

Inside I wanted to do right, but it seems I always did wrong. I wanted to share the secrets that had been bottled up inside me since I was a small little girl, but I knew no one would believe me and they’d probably even blame me for it, since I hadn't stopped those guys from doing all those evil things.  

At 13 I ran away with my boyfriend to try to escape the evil things. I remember our first night together, it was winter and I was freezing cold and exhausted from walking through town and after town, no ride, no shelter. 

I cried. I wanted to go home. But he threatened that if I went home, I’d be locked up in a girl’s institution (like the judge had said), and we’d never see each other again. 

So I stayed through it all, even his drunken beatings. I guess in part I was thinking I had no other choice, or that I deserved it, but I always held out hope that since this guy swore he loved me, that I somehow had this special power to change him.

I finally realized after marrying him at 16, when he nearly beat me to death, that I couldn’t change him.

The truth is, I can’t change anybody else. I can only change me. 

But at that time I didn’t know how to change me. My life was hopeless. I knew I couldn’t live with him, but I didn’t think I could live without him either. So I kept going back like a yo-yo dangling on a string.

  

Thankfully God heard my hearts cry and intervened. 

My husband left to go see his family for two weeks. Normally he'd make me go with him, but he gave me a choice. Of course I said no. Who would want to be around a houseful of drunken, abusive, maniacs for that long?

I was afraid of being alone, yet I stayed there in that big empty house all by myself. After all the abuse I suffered, I couldn’t sleep nights, as I was terrified someone was going to break in and kill me. 

My life revolved around fear. I had no peace. The only time I could get a couple hours of rest was in the morning after the sun came up.

Little did I know all of that was about to change. In fact, my whole life, as I knew it, was about to change.

After a few days of partying and sleeping with anyone just so I wouldn't be alone, I felt more empty and lonely than ever. But even worse, our phone wasn't working. So I hurried over to our neighbors to call the phone company.

But our neighbor didn’t answer her door, another lady did. She said she had heard all about me and invited me in. I could only guess what she had heard! But still I made the call. Busy. As I sat there waiting for the line to clear, this lady began telling me about her life. That she had runaway with her older boyfriend too, and had done many of things I did, but there was something different about her. She had a beautiful smile, a radiant glow, an excitement and fire in her voice, a this amazing peace about her.

The more she talked, I wanted what she had.

She began to tell me how she got FREE. How she met a man named Jesus and how he came into her heart and changed her whole life and took all her fears away. 

When I left she said she’d be glad to talk or pray with me at any time.  So I went home to clean my house and I couldn’t stop thinking about her or what she said. Finally I got up the courage to go back over and ask her to pray with me.

As she sat in my living room next to me praying, suddenly I couldn’t hear her. My ears were completely plugged. I began saying, “I can’t hear you.” My eyes even got really blurry and weird and I started freaking out. So she began shouting, “Say in the name of Jesus! In the name of Jesus! In the name of Jesus!” 

So I started shouting it with her, “In the name of Jesus! In the name of Jesus! In the name of Jesus!” and pretty soon it was like something shot out of my ears and I could hear and see better than I ever had. For once I felt clean and had a peace I’d never known. I wanted everyone to find Jesus and experience this.

Maybe you, like me, have lived in abuse and fear all your life and you need/want a change? Jesus will do the same thing for you as he did for me. We can't change others or even our pasts, but we can change our future. Won't you call out to Jesus today? He'll listen, come into your heart, and be there for you. But you have to be the one to say the prayer and believe.

Jesus was there in 5th grade when I made that prayer, but I didn't let him change me. I didn't know how. At 17, when I prayed the second time, I was ready for change, I was sick of living that miserable life. And today, since I embraced Jesus and his life changing power, my life is amazing!

CHANGE begins with you!

I would love to pray with you or send you a copy of my book "Run For Your Life" about my true life story. So please email me @ abusebites(at)gmail.com and let me know that this blog has touched your heart and you want CHANGE!

Bullies Are Cowards

Bullies are Cowards—I know because I was one. And it’s weird because I hated fighting, the sight of blood, and I never wanted to hurt anyone. But for once, no one was hurting me. And I had this amazing power—people feared me, everyone wanted to be my friend. I ruled. But underneath that tough bully exterior I was always afraid that someone bigger and badder than me would come along and pound my face in. 

There were always new bullies moving in, from Lansing, Flint, and Detroit, who had a worse reputation that I was terrified of. I was afraid to walk up town, go to school, and even leave my house.

I’d like to say I was a hero and I toughed it out in school, but I wasn’t. Instead I ran away and lived on the streets with an older boyfriend who swore to love and protect me. I’d been bullied and abused most of my life, so I was glad to get away from it all. For once I thought I was finally free. But that freedom didn’t last long, because I was even more abused out on the road. For two years we hitchhiked from state to state taking rides with some of America’s most wanted and deadliest.

Aside from being homeless, penniless and starving, I was kidnapped, raped, forced into dancing and prostitution, and nearly killed many times. My own boyfriend even turned on me out there.

But there was one thing that was a sure thing, whenever I would PRAY for food, a ride, or to be saved from a near death situation, God always came through in a miraculous way and answered my prayer. I didn’t understand it, because I knew I wasn’t living right, didn’t deserve it, but when I cried out to him, he heard me.

God is good! Even to Cowards & Bullies! Because God understands that bullies are usually hurt, abused, terrified individuals, just like me! If you've been the bully or bullied all your life, why not get free today? I did!

For more about Lisa Freeman, speaking, or her book "Run For Your Life" based on her true story of being an abused teen runaway, log onto abusebites.com. 

Struggling With Bullying Issues?

Are you struggling with bullying issues in your home, school, or community?

Have you tried various anti-bullying workshops and strategies, but still don't seem to be getting anywhere with students or parents?

Why don't you let us help!

*We're Experienced: We are all abuse survivors who have been both the bully and bullied throughout life. We've shared our workshops in various schools, churches, and work places all over Michigan.

*We're Educated & Endorsed: We founded Abuse Bites Corp. from the ground up in 2005 (put together workshops for pre-school, children, teens and even adults), currently we work as the Healing Projects Specialist for the Bully Police USA, and host a blog talk radio show "Bullying Matters" for Dreamcatchers for Abused Children.

*We're Empathetic: We understand all sides of bullying and teach others empathy, something's that lacking these days in homes, schools, and communities.

*We're Enthusiastic & Empowering: We're passionate about this anti-bullying message and empower and motivate others to Be The CHANGE they want to see in others. Our mission is to CHANGE HEARTS & SAVE LIVES in memory of our son, Brian, who passed away last year. He was bullied all his life. He lived and died forgiving his bullies.

*We're Effective: We offer healing workshops for all those who are affected by bullying and abuse: (victims, bystanders, the ones with bully behaviors as well as their families, and even staff). Many wounded hurting people are walking around. They are like time bombs waiting to go off. If their feelings and emotions aren't properly dealt with we might witness the next Columbine or worse. Hurt people, hurt people. Healed people, heal people.

*We're NOT Expensive: We're a 501 (c) 3 non-profit organization that is passionate about the cause, not a paycheck! We know schools are struggling. We know everyone is struggling. That is why we are willing to work within the means of any reasonable budget. We are currently trying to raise funds for gas so we can offer low-income schools and communities FREE WORKSHOPS.

Too many times, people are simply putting a band aid on bullying. They offer help for the victim or target while putting the bully (those demonstrating bullying behaviors) in anger management classes. Bullying is not about anger; it's about power and control. And it's time the schools, we as parents, and entire communities realize this and take back the control from those with bullying behaviors, so we can have more time to focus on what's really important--education and empowering our young people and families to strive toward a better, safer future.

We'd love to send you more information, outlines of our workshops, or we'd even be willing to come to a meeting and share our program with your teachers and principals if you'd like. So please let us know how we can help you and your staff bring healing to your community! Thank you for your time. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Lisa Freeman, CEO Abuse Bites

Healing Projects Specialist, Bully Police USA

Email Us @ abusebites@gmail.com

Visite Us @ http://www.abusebites.com

Anti-Bullying Workshops that Save Lives

Lately we've been swamped with emails, phone calls, and letters from parents, schools, and churches to do anti-bullying workshops.

The need to stop bullying and get help is huge.

Last week we did three workshops. We did a back to back entire youth presentation for 7th-12th and then K-6th for the younger students. Wow! Great time! But it hit a nerve in my heart when I heard that even a 2nd grader who had been terribly bullied said, "I want to kill myself."

I had been contemplating if the younger kids should really hear our "bullycide" story about my son, Jeremiah. But I felt led to share it, and now I'm so glad I did.

We never know who might be feeling ready to end their life because they just can't take it anymore. Our workshops can literally save lives.

Another thing that I heard was that people were thankful that we addressed how we "help and love the bully" knowing it's not a person, bullying is an action, and anyone can change, but first we must BE THE CHANGE they can see.

Little kids even came up and said it was a great time. So thankful that we can have fun, play games, and interact with the kids and teens--that's so important.

We don't just tell them a bunch of stuff, we have lived abuse and we have healed from it.

We don't simply put a band-aid on bully, we help others heal in a fun, safe way.

So if you're in need of an antibullying presentation for your school, church, or community--give us a call!

Together we can change hearts and save lives!

989-729-2124

Almost Bullied to Death

Lisa Freeman tells story about her teenage son that was almost bullied to death in high school. After getting him the appropriate help now he's healed and writes and sings songs to help others. MTV is even considering a film about Jeremiah entitled "Bullied" and using one of his songs.

Say No To Peer Pressure

Don't Buy The Lie

Seems like since I was a little girl, I was being fed one lie after another.

It started with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, but then more harmful dangerous lies came into play.

My brothers older friends, neighborhood boys/men, and even some of my friends from school did unspeakable acts I was sworn not to tell. “It will be our little secret,” they’d say. I wanted to tell my mom, but I was too ashamed and I was scared. I thought she’d probably blame me anyway. And many of my abusers had threatened me. What if their threats were true?

So I bought the lie. The lie that I had to stay in abusive relationships. The lie that no one would ever want me. The lie that no one would love me. The lie that I would have to settle for whoever came along.

All my life I bought the lie of abuse. 

My alcoholic husband dropped to his knees and wept over my battered body, “I’m sorry. I promise if you stay I’ll never hurt you again.”

Sadly, I bought the lie again and again until he almost killed me. And even after I left him, I still kept buying the lies of abuse.

My 2^nd husband, who went to church faithfully, swore a million times that he’d never look at pornography or cheat on me on me again. 

I bought the lie time and time again and stayed with him for seven painful years until I learned he sexually abused our three children. That's when I began seeking the truth, and the truth set me free!

Don’t buy the lie! Don’t settle for abuse! 

I know it's hard to break free. I didn’t even start getting my life together until the age of 26. I hadn’t even finished high school, let alone junior high. I had dropped out in the 7th grade. Yet, a single mother of three, I went back to school, got my GED, went onto college, maintained a 4.0, and made the Dean’s List. Later, after battling severe panic attacks and agoraphobia, I graduated from Vision International with a degree in Christian Ministry, became an Award-Winning Christian Author, Certified Pet Therapist/Dog Trainer, and started two non-profit organizations A Time To Heal and Abuse Bites to break the cycle of abuse and help others heal.

Abuse is a choice. You can be a victim or you can be a survivor. I was a victim far too long. Today I’m a survivor, because I stopped buying the lie. I pray that you do too! You deserve better. It's the truth that sets us free!

If you or someone you know is stuck in the cycle of abuse and needs help please call 9-1-1 or the national domestic abuse hotline @ 1-800-799-SAFE. You may also contact me. I’d love to help in any way I can.

We offer workshops to educate, prevent, and bring awareness on all types of abuse and bullying in the school, work place and community. We’d be honored to work with you to bring our program to your area! http://www.abusebites.com.

1$ in CHANGE to Stop Abuse, Bullying, & Violence

This benefit is being thrown for our family in honor/memory of our son, Brian who died in August.

I am asking everyone around the world, every city, state, country, and nation to donate/give $1 American Dollar to the cause so we can use your spare CHANGE to CHANGE the world & Stop Abuse, Bullying and Violence.

We will use this money to travel all over the USA/World to educate others on how to get safe from abuse, bullying and violence. Every penny is tax deductible. 

Our son Brian was bullied all his life. He lived and died forgiving his bullies. After he died we found a CHANGE jar he'd been saving. We knew right away we were supposed to collect CHANGE to be the CHANGE for him and others who are bullied. RIP Brian 6/27/88 to 8/10/10.

Our son Jeremiah was nearly bullied to death. Our son Robert was a cutter and had 2 nervous breakdowns due to abuse. Our daughter Melissa was nearly choked to death in school and labeled "gay" because she chose not to date and save herself for the right man.

Please consider taking the $1 CHANGE CHALLENGE TODAY and tell all your email buddies, FB friends, and Twitter followers. We need your support to STOP ABUSE, BULLYING & VIOLENCE. Can you give just $1? If not, give what you can, pass this on, pray for us and our mission, and leave it in God's hands.

You can donate online @ http://www.takeabiteoutofabuse.com/change.html. Or send check or money order payable to: A Time To Heal

CHANGE to STOP ABUSE
PO BOX 1582
Owosso, MI  48867

Thank you for partnering with us!

The Abuse Bites Team
www.abusebites.com

Wear Purple to Stop Abuse & Bullying

Today, I, along with millions of people all over the world, will wear purple in memory/honor of those that have recently lost their lives to bullying and bullycide.

More importantly I will wear the acceptance, love, and an open heart to all who are different from me and accept them just the way they are. Because truly we are all different, unique and wonderful individuals. And chances are, what I can't do, you can. So we literally need each other and one another's gifts and talents to make the world a beautiful place.

So even though these beautiful children/teens/ and even adults have died, their voices live on, screaming out for help and justice for those who are still being bullied, abused, and shunned today. What are you doing to help? Or do you simply walk on by so as not to get involved when you see someone hurting another?

Did you know that if you do nothing, you become part of the problem? It's time to step up and do something. Even if you just wear purple today, it's a start. Let's band together and do something.

It has been reported that 85% of all playground bullying no one does anything, 11% that help are peers, and only 4% are teachers. Come on people, wake up! This could be your child or someone you love next time. Let's do something!

Maybe you can't break up a fight, but you can find someone who can help them. Please don't stand idly by, or walk away any more. We need to stop abuse, bullying and violence wherever we see it.

If you don't stand up for something, you'll fall for anything.

My entire family/dogs have been bullied and abused in some form. So we are fighting back to end the war on bullying. We work feverishly to educate kids, teens, parents, educators, workers, and whole communities on bullying, abuse, and violence and how to stay safe. Please support our cause through prayer, donations, or have us come to your community with our "Abuse Bites" breakout sessions, so you can have the power to break free from abusive behaviors and lifestyles too!

www.abusebites.com

Fun, Interactive Anti-Bullying & Pet Therapy Workshops for the whole family!

Email us today @ abusebites@gmail.com

Education Key to Stop Bullycide & All Forms of Bullying

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Yet in the last few weeks across the nation there have been at least twelve bullycide victims. Bullycide is the result of someone being bullied to the point of taking their own life.

The latest bullycide report was in Boston, Massachusetts, where a 10-year-old girl was found hanging by a scarf in a closet. "This is heart wrenching," says Lisa Freeman, who founded the anti-bullying program, Take A Bite Out Of Abuse. "Things like this don't have to happen."

Freeman believes with proper education, kids, teens, parents, and teachers will have the tools they need to take the proper action for prevention in the future. "Accidental suicides happen all the time," she says. "Kids today are playing dangerous games like the choking game."

This is just one of the many self-abuse topics Freeman discusses in her interactive workshops. "The choking game is where kids take an object such as a rope, scarf or tie and wrap it around their neck for a high feeling," she says. "Typically they are with someone else the first time they try it, so when they pass out, the friend is able to loosen the grip so they can breathe. However, when they try it alone, there's no one to release the grip and it ends up killing them."

It is Freeman's goal, as well as her whole family, to travel around the country to educate others on bullying and abuse. "I don't want another person to lose their life," she said. "I almost lost my son to bullycide two years ago."

Freeman's son, Jeremiah, was a sophomore then. He had been bullied all his life, was even threatened, and would have severe panic attacks when even thinking of going to school. "He wrapped a belt around his neck three times," she said. "Thankfully we knew the warning signs and got him the help he needed and now he's helping others."

A benefit has been set for the Freeman's in memory of their other son, Brian, who passed away in August. He had Asperger's Syndrome and a rare heart defect. He was bullied all this life. Yet, he lived and died forgiving his bullies. The EATS and BEATS for CHANGE to TAKE A BITE OUT OF ABUSE will take place on Sunday, November 7^th from 4-9 p.m @ Gi Gi's Banquet and Catering. The Mayor, Ben Frederick, will give an address. Limited seating is available. Advanced tickets are $10 per person/ $20 per family ($5 more at door). Mail check/MO to: The Freeman Family, PO Box 1582, Owosso, MI  48867. Get Tickets & info online @ www.abusebites.com.

Speech About Healing From Abuse & Bullying

Let me first say I am both humbled and honored to be here tonight. When Coach Dave Wilson asked me to speak, I was honored, yet at the same time didn't know if I could meet the challenge. Not just because one of my son, Brian, just passed away. But because of an abusive lifestyle I suffered, I have battled with severe panic attacks for years. Yet when God opens a door, even though I might feel fear initially, I know that with him I can do all things.

Yes, with God all things are possible.

Most of you probably don't know that my son Jeremiah also battled severe panic attacks. His panic is also related to being bullied and abused. By the 10^th grade he was bullied so badly in school that he became desperate and even suicidal. Even when we got him the help he needed and began schooling him at home, he had severe panic attacks any time he left the house.

He tried to fit in with other kids outside of school at the YMCA. Even tried to join the Y's basketball team, but he was bullied there too. Even though he was a pretty good player, they didn't allow him the chance to be on the team.

That's when we heard about THE FALCONS and spoke with Coach Hadley. He signed Jeremiah up right away for the next season. But in the meantime Jeremiah was invited to basketball practices and basketball camps, which took place in this very gym.

I'm not going to tell you Jeremiah wasn't nervous or never had panic attacks again. But what I am going to tell you is that this gym is where Jeremiah's healing began. On the court he gained back everything those bullies had stolen from him and so much more. We watched as he persevered to overcome every obstacle in his way, to become not only a STARTER basketball player that made excellent 3 point shots, but a wonderful young man of God.

So I want to thank Coach Hadley, Coach Dave, all the Falcons, and the Owosso Free Methodist Church for literally saving our son's life. God used all of you and this awesome place to bring about a healing that we could have never given him. Yes, with God all things are possible, especially when people like you make amazing sacrifices and pray the price. Thank you for being instruments in the Lords hands. Thank you all and God bless!

For more on our workshops, speaking, etc log onto http://www.abusebites.com 

How To Stop Bullying

It doesn't seem possible still that we lost our son two weeks ago. What a hero! He died forgiving his bullies. http://www.takeabiteoutofabuse.com/change.html

 I've survived nearly every form of abuse in life, yet this is one thing I hoped I'd never have to survive. However, at the same time I am absolutely honored at the work to stop abuse, bullying and violence that will go on in his name. I'm already seeing it happen.

Many letters have poured in from parents, grandparents, teachers, lay people, and concerned citizens. Bullying and abuse must stop. There is only one way. We need to take action. We need to make a change and a difference for the next generation. Have a no tolerance policy and stick to it.

I heard from teachers who saw other teachers and administrators bullying kids and stood up for them. Thank God there are a few good people out there who care and are taking a stand for our children. But it needs to happen on the playground as well. Many times bullying is seen as a squabble or simply overlooked. These kids need intervention the first time. 85% of the time playground bullying goes unattended, 4% of the time teachers and aides step into help, but mostly help comes from peers, still only 11%. Come on, we need to step it up and intervene.

What you can do to stop bullying…

*Raise awareness in your community, church, school, workplace, etc about anti-bullying programs like ours that are available to educate and teach kids, parents, adults, and even educators how to properly handle bullying issues. http://www.abusebites.com  This isn't just a SCHOOL problem. Bullies/Bullying is everywhere. We'd love to come to your school, church, work place, library, community, contact us today @ lisafreelife@gmail.com

*Connect with other anti-bullying forces out there, such as the Bully Task Force http://sisfi.org/main.html?src=%2F  in New York, Bully Police USA  http://www.bullypolice.org/speaker.html  in Washington, etc.

*Donate your time, talents, and even money to help anti-bullying organizations so they can be productive in educating others. We have people all over the USA taking our information packets to their schools, churches, and other events in the community, as well as putting up canisters to collect donations. Change of Heart for Brian and others like him@ http://www.takeabiteoutofabuse.com/change.html.

*Start a local anti-bullying group to discuss ways you can raise awareness and bring safety to your community

*Choose to do something about bullying, don't just sit there and hope the schools/laws will protect you and your family, you have to be proactive or nothing will ever get done. Don't give up, together, we can do this!

Brian—He Lived and Died Forgiving His Bullies

 In Memory of my son, Brian, 22, who died forgiving his bullies

Brian was many times misunderstood by his peers, adults, and even his teachers.

Born with Asperger's Syndrome, he had his own unique way of communicating. He had to touch, smell, and taste everything around him. I remember when he was really little going into Meijer's shopping and he closed his eyes and ran his hands through rows of clothes on either side and then came to grips with a woman's pregnant belly and began feeling that too. Thankfully the lady just laughed it off and saw Brian for who he was a very unique and explorative child.

Instead of reading children's books, Brian read the dictionary and Bible mostly. The morning of his passing he read the first chapter in Ruth. So intelligent, there wasn't much he didn't know. People thought he was weird or wasn't paying attention most of the time, even his teachers complained, but he always knew what was going on, and even more. He saw the world through God's eyes.

Although he was bullied by others since his feet first hit the ground, he loved who he was, learned to forgive them, and focused on helping others who were hurting. 

Due to a congenital heart defect and only two chambers in his heart, Doctors said Brian wouldn't live to be a year old. Yet with prayer, love, and faith we watched him overcome every obstacle in his way. But Brian was the one with the most amazing faith. One that is rare to find. Because every time he faced surgery, couldn't breathe, or nearly died, he looked at me and said, "Mom just pray."

No matter how sick he was, how bad he hurt, or what he had to go through, he rarely complained. When I'd ask, "How you feeling Brian?" he'd reply with "I'm good!" and stick his thumb in the air with a bright smile.

It didn't take much to cheer him up. Mostly he was the one doing the cheering! Born with a great sense of humor, he always had the ability to make everyone, especially nurses and doctors laugh. A practical joker of sorts, he was always pulling a fast one on someone. He loved to poke fun at new techs, nurses, and doctors.


He loved many things in life. The Lord Jesus was top on that list. He'd given his life to the Lord at a very young age and seldom wavered. Next would be his family and dogs. He loved Snickers, Baby Ruth, and Wanakiya. They loved him just as much. The day before Brian passed, Baby Ruth would not leave his side. And any time he had to be away from home in the hospital, a visit from therapy dogs always made his day. When he was home and well, he enjoyed going on pet therapy visits to cheer others up.

Brian also loved to cook, and was one of the best. The morning he went home to be with the Lord, the house smelled so yummy it took me away from my computer. I knew he was up and asked what he was making. He said, "The usual." It was one of his delicious hamburgers. He cooked steaks, potatoes, and made some mean macaroni and cheese. And he brought me breakfast many times to my computer. But his all time church favorite is when he would cook hotdogs on the grill for all the players, family, and friends.

Brian loved to serve others, help others, and heal others. It didn't take any persuading for him to jump on board when there was a mission to accomplish. He helped the family teach pet therapy, he helped in parades and other events, and kept the dogs under control during Take A Bite Out Of Abuse presentations. He was passionate about stopping bullying, abuse, and violence and helping others so they wouldn't hurt like he had. That is why when the kids found a jar of his change that he'd been saving and brought it to me, God immediately gave me the idea of using the slogan be the CHANGE FOR BRIAN to raise money to stop abuse, bullying and violence in our country.

He was great with the little money he had and always tithed, bought pizza for everyone, and always managed to save some too.

He wanted a job more than anything. Each summer since the age of 13 he worked in the Baker College Summer Youth program. He worked in the kitchen at the hospital, cleaned the schools and grounds in Corunna, and even worked at Oak Hill Cemetery. Nothing he did was easy for him. He'd underwent several heart surgeries and near death experiences from 13 on. He was even placed on the heart transplant list after receiving a mechanical aortic valve and pacemaker at 16. Yet, he persevered, and graduated with honors from Owosso High School in 2007.

As soon as he graduated he put applications in everywhere. But with his underlying conditions and our tough economy, he never got a paying job. But he worked. He worked harder than most young men his age who are healthy. Any time the family was planning an event, he was right beside them every step of the way, packaging candy for a parade, toting boxes, packing the van, you name it, he did it.

If you never got to know Brian, you missed out. He was one of the few people that are real in the world. He never judged, never had a bad word to say about anyone, and always thought positively. Even the many times he faced death, he'd say, "Mom don't worry, I'm not afraid to die. I know where I'm going."

I know where Brian is today, in heaven in the arms of Jesus. I do mourn for our great loss, but not for him, because I know he's happy, healthier than he's ever been, and totally free, but mostly I mourn for those who have never accepted Jesus and are still bitter and unforgiving of their bullies.

It's time we make a CHANGE in our lives, a CHANGE in our communities, have a CHANGE of heart and be the CHANGE for Brian to stop abuse, bullying and violence  http://www.takeabiteoutofabuse.com/change.html.

If You Really Knew Me

Typically I'm not an MTV fan. However, when a girl who recently went through my pet therapy class facebook'd me and said, "You might want to watch this new TV show 'If You Really Knew Me' I think it would be something awesome to add to your anti-bullying program for high school students."

The program was amazing! I loved the show from beginning to end. What an eye opener! After watching this show, I hope we can take bits and pieces to incorporate them into our presentation.  WOW!

During the first part of the show, you see the teens separated into various groups, preps, outcasts, popular, nerds, etc. But then students participate in a one-day program "Challenge Day" that breaks down the walls of separation. I watched how they interacted with the students to do various activities, and how the students began to break down emotionally. It was amazing! I loved when they split up into small groups and each shared something that no one would know about them. They purposely put the outcasts, nerds, and popular people together.

But the best part of all was when they asked all the students to stand together in back of the blue line. Then one by one they'd call out things like, "if you've ever been affected by someone close to you dying, someone or yourself taking drugs or alcohol, physically hit by a brother or sister, being yelled or screamed at, put down on a regular basis step over the line." Nearly all the kids stepped over. Then they said, "See, you're never alone. Someone else is going through the same stuff you are."

It was awesome to see the outcasts, nerds, and popular people all hugging each other. As I wiped the tears from my eyes, I thought about my own life. How I wished they had a program like this when I was growing up. Maybe I wouldn't have run away. Maybe I wouldn't have been so abused. Maybe I would have had friends.

If you really knew me, you'd know that all my life I felt like an outcast. In my family. At school. Even at church. People just didn't seem to accept me. I'm still very lonely and don't have many friends. Every church I've been in people have tight cliques and although they may say Hi and give me a hug sometimes, I still feel like that outcast on the outside looking in. My kids are all different and have special needs; they are often outcasts and not accepted either. I cry and ask God why sometimes.

If you really knew me you'd know that I didn't graduate from school. That I dropped out in 7^th grade to run away with an older boyfriend.  I was beaten, raped, kidnapped, and forced into dancing and prostitution. And I was homeless for two years because when I thought about going home, my boyfriend would beg me to stay telling me that we would never see each other again if I went home. This same boyfriend nearly beat me to death on our wedding night when I was 16. (Check out Lisa's book based on her true story)

If you really knew me, you'd know that in my second marriage my husband was supposedly a Christian man addicted to pornography, which was blamed on me from pastors and counselors for years. You'd know that I kept trying to be a better wife and please him, even though he had numerous affairs and gave me VD. You'd know that he later molested our three children. And you'd know that when I did kick him out, that he kidnapped my children and I had to pretend to get back with him to get them in my custody, and then sneak off to a shelter with them one day while he was at work.  (Check out my book based on our true story, "The Pictures That Destroy The Mind" )

If you really knew me, you'd know that me, my entire family, and even our dogs have been abused. My eldest son was a cutter and nearly committed suicide.  My daughter was called gay, was emotionally impaired, and almost strangled to death by another student. My youngest son was nearly bullied to death in high school. And my son, Brian is autistic, only has two chambers in his heart, and needs a heart transplant. (Check out our entire family/even our dog's various healings)

If you really knew me, you'd also know that I overcome fear every day to speak and share my story of abuse survival. You'd know that sometimes I feel overwhelmed and depressed and like I have no one to turn to. (Check out a Vision Lisa had that keeps her going)

If you really knew me, you'd know that I struggle in my marriage even though I'm married to a wonderful Christian now, I fall in my Christian walk, and I'm having a hard time with all the emotions that go along with menopause. (Check out Lisa's healing testimony)

If you really knew me, you'd know that it breaks my heart every time a child is bullied; a teen even thinks of suicide or becomes a victim of dating violence. You'd know that I want to do more to help, in the schools, churches, and communities abroad. And you'd also know that I couldn't go out and do any of this if God hadn't brought me Snickers. (Lisa & Snickers story)

If you really knew me, you'd know that a lot of people attack me and get the wrong idea about me. That I only want to do God's will, not my own. That I don't care about fame or fortune, I just care about reaching others and helping them heal from abusive lifestyles. And helping them so they don't make the same bad choices I made.

If you really knew me, you'd know that sometimes I just want to give up. Doing a ministry, non-profit, training dogs, and caring for four adult children with special needs is a ton of work.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I have learned to give it all to God. He is the reason I do and can do anything I do. I get excited and afraid every time I know I'm going to speak or write. The excitement comes from knowing I will hopefully be able to help others, the fear comes from all the abuse and rejection I suffered. People even in the church have rejected me, my book, and my testimony and made me feel like dirt, and like I'm not as good as them.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I have learned to surrender to Jesus. He was horribly rejected and abused too. I want to be like him, so I forgive all, realizing that people are just people, they will hurt us, but if we don’t forgive them, we hurt ourselves far more.

Like Paul says in Philippians 3:14, "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Check out this enlightening Interview with one of the students for Challenge Day: http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2010/07/19/mtvs-really-knew-breaks-boundaries-high-school-time/