Surviving Domestic Violence--I Survived, You Can Too!

Surviving Domestic Violence--I Survived, You Can Too!

Domestic violence is running rampant all over the world. Right here in the USA alone, tragic stories bloody the headlines every day.  Many people ask why a woman would stay with a man who beats her? People often believe the myth that a woman who is beaten must like it or she’d leave. Read More

 

I was one of those women. Fear was the biggest reason I didn’t leave. That, along with the fact that he promised he would get help and change. He cried with real tears in his eyes. I believed him. But the alcohol he drank, made him even meaner. Anytime he drank, I’d end up black and blue. And so the cycle of domestic violence continued, until he almost killed me, and I barely escaped with my life. Read My Story

 

Sadly, things haven’t changed much. The FBI released a report saying that every 9 seconds a woman is physically abused by her husband. The report also states that women today stay with their abusers because of feelings of guilt, insecurity, fear for their children’s safety, as well as emotional and financial dependence. Read Article

 

The cycle of abuse will continue until you make the decision to stop it. Leaving, in most cases, is the only way out. After Singing Star, Rhianna, was attacked by Chris Brown in 2009, Oprah dedicated a one hour program to domestic violence. During the show, Rhianna’s message was, “If you go back with a man who hits you, it’s because you don’t think you’re worthy of being with a man who won’t. I’ve said it before, ‘Love doesn’t hurt, and if a man hits you once, he will hit you again.’” Read Article

 

This is so true of the abuse cycle. But how can women trust a judicial system that has failed countless women? Joe Biden wrote the Violence Against Women Act in 1994, which did some great things; helped prosecute abusers, gave aid to women for housing, and enabled a hot line for them to call in emergencies. However, Biden knows they must offer more and laws must get firmer when dealing with perpetrators. Or women like Sarah Rosio, a 24 year old Wisconsin woman, who was fatally stabbed because she couldn’t get a protection order, will continue to lose their lives. Read Article

 

Another case I read about, involves a young woman who was strangled to death in 2010. And the Wisconsin man who killed her, unbelievably was only placed on probation. In 2011 after this same man committed another violent act, they finally put him in prison. Read Article

 

What about the World Championship Boxer, Floyd Mayweather Jr., who stalked and threatened his ex-girlfriend and kids? He only got a six months sentence, but was released after just two months so he could continue his fighting career! Some people get a slap on their hand, because of their position or status, basically telling them it’s okay to do it again.Read Article

 

Then we hear about former Queen of the Stone Age bassist, Nick Oliveri. Although he had seven felony counts against him, including drugs and domestic violence, he made a deal with prosecutors, dropping six felonies and a 15-year prison sentence to basically community service. Read Article 

 

A Wareham Official is being charged with domestic assault after punching a woman several times in the face and dragging her by the hair. Cops are even involved in domestic violence cases. No one is exempt. It happens in homes all around the country, at a rising rate every day.

 

Then we see things like supposed “mercy” killings. An Ohio man shot and killed his wife, who he claims was suffering in the hospital critical care unit. Read Article

 

Sadly, history keeps repeating over and over again.

 

A furious state attorney recently was angered that a prosecuting attorney let Melvin Perkins, a domestic assault perpetrator, slip through the system without being charged. Now two years later, this same man who had abused several women, is back in court, this time for stabbing his ex-girlfriend to death. Read Article

 

Children are even involved many times, and caught right in the middle of a terrible domestic war. One woman, holding her infant, was beaten and pushed down a flight of stairs. (Read Article) When kids are involved, they often repeat the violence they grew up in. One teen is spending 12 years in prison for a horrific act of domestic violence against a young woman.Read Article

 

Kids in violent homes usually abuse or make a vow to stop the abuse. A 14 year old Michigan boy is being called a hero, after wrestling a gun out of his drunken father’s hands, to protect his mother from being shot. Statistics tell us that most young boys and teens who murder, kill the man that has been abusing their mother.  No child or teen should have to be faced with such a tragedy. Read Article

 

Yet, as indicated previously, most kids, like their parents, are afraid to seek help. Although many victims of domestic violence will never contact a police officer or other victim help agency, the number one place they will turn is to their health care provider. Due to increased stress and tension in the home, many women are battling physical conditions like asthma, high blood pressure, and heart disease. Read Article

 

Even though this article featured the loopholes in the system, there is still a great deal of help available for those who need it. Our Abuse Bites program offers educational workshops to help victims of abuse cross over to becoming survivors. I was a victim once myself, but now I’m a survivor. I’m remarried, (just celebrated my 19^th Anniversary) I’m happy, healthy and have three beautiful, amazing grown kids, and three awesome dogs that we use for pet therapy. More Info

 

I’ve also listed several resources and related articles below to help women and children get the information they need to get safe and start a new life—abuse free!

 

National Domestic Violence Hotline
(800) 799-7233

 

What Causes Domestic Violence?

Understanding the Cycle of Battering

The Domestic Violence Act: Seven Years On

Domestic abuse charge follows familiar pattern

Stacey Moniz: Ending Domestic Violence on Maui

Accusing Your Partner of Infidelity Trigger for Domestic Abuse

ADVOCATE: Spotlight: Regina's Fight to Stop Domestic Violence

Get the Facts: The Facts on Domestic, Dating and Sexual Violence

SURVIVOR: Domestic Violence Survivor Shares Inspirational Story

Battling the effects of domestic violence in rural Alaska communities

New Research Focuses On Treatment for Perpetrators of Domestic Violence ...

Say No To Peer Pressure

Help for Bullying in Michigan Walk n Talk to Stop Abuse of People & Pets

Have you been bullied or abused?

Maybe you're the bully or abuser?

Maybe you're just the innocent bystander, caught in the middle?

GOOD NEWS--There's help for everyone!!! Whether you're the victim, bystander, bully, or even a family member of someone who's struggling with these issues, you can conquer these bullying behaviors and be set free!

AbuseBites.com and our team of professionals want to help you. We were once victims too. But now we're survivors! We've been through all forms of abuse, (even our dogs) and we've come out on the other side.

So we're sharing our workshops, stories of survival, and offering healing completely FREE to all, in a family friendly environment, as we travel to various cities all over Michigan.

Aside from abuse awareness, education, safety and prevention methods, we offer an assortment of fun for the whole family with a few interactive games and an amazing trick presentation by our therapy dogs that's sure to captivate any crowd!

For more information on cities, dates, times, volunteering, or hosting an event, please log onto AbuseBites.com and click on our "Walk n Talk" link at the far right of the page.

Education Key to Stop Bullycide & All Forms of Bullying

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Yet in the last few weeks across the nation there have been at least twelve bullycide victims. Bullycide is the result of someone being bullied to the point of taking their own life.

The latest bullycide report was in Boston, Massachusetts, where a 10-year-old girl was found hanging by a scarf in a closet. "This is heart wrenching," says Lisa Freeman, who founded the anti-bullying program, Take A Bite Out Of Abuse. "Things like this don't have to happen."

Freeman believes with proper education, kids, teens, parents, and teachers will have the tools they need to take the proper action for prevention in the future. "Accidental suicides happen all the time," she says. "Kids today are playing dangerous games like the choking game."

This is just one of the many self-abuse topics Freeman discusses in her interactive workshops. "The choking game is where kids take an object such as a rope, scarf or tie and wrap it around their neck for a high feeling," she says. "Typically they are with someone else the first time they try it, so when they pass out, the friend is able to loosen the grip so they can breathe. However, when they try it alone, there's no one to release the grip and it ends up killing them."

It is Freeman's goal, as well as her whole family, to travel around the country to educate others on bullying and abuse. "I don't want another person to lose their life," she said. "I almost lost my son to bullycide two years ago."

Freeman's son, Jeremiah, was a sophomore then. He had been bullied all his life, was even threatened, and would have severe panic attacks when even thinking of going to school. "He wrapped a belt around his neck three times," she said. "Thankfully we knew the warning signs and got him the help he needed and now he's helping others."

A benefit has been set for the Freeman's in memory of their other son, Brian, who passed away in August. He had Asperger's Syndrome and a rare heart defect. He was bullied all this life. Yet, he lived and died forgiving his bullies. The EATS and BEATS for CHANGE to TAKE A BITE OUT OF ABUSE will take place on Sunday, November 7^th from 4-9 p.m @ Gi Gi's Banquet and Catering. The Mayor, Ben Frederick, will give an address. Limited seating is available. Advanced tickets are $10 per person/ $20 per family ($5 more at door). Mail check/MO to: The Freeman Family, PO Box 1582, Owosso, MI  48867. Get Tickets & info online @ www.abusebites.com.

Brian—He Lived and Died Forgiving His Bullies

 In Memory of my son, Brian, 22, who died forgiving his bullies

Brian was many times misunderstood by his peers, adults, and even his teachers.

Born with Asperger's Syndrome, he had his own unique way of communicating. He had to touch, smell, and taste everything around him. I remember when he was really little going into Meijer's shopping and he closed his eyes and ran his hands through rows of clothes on either side and then came to grips with a woman's pregnant belly and began feeling that too. Thankfully the lady just laughed it off and saw Brian for who he was a very unique and explorative child.

Instead of reading children's books, Brian read the dictionary and Bible mostly. The morning of his passing he read the first chapter in Ruth. So intelligent, there wasn't much he didn't know. People thought he was weird or wasn't paying attention most of the time, even his teachers complained, but he always knew what was going on, and even more. He saw the world through God's eyes.

Although he was bullied by others since his feet first hit the ground, he loved who he was, learned to forgive them, and focused on helping others who were hurting. 

Due to a congenital heart defect and only two chambers in his heart, Doctors said Brian wouldn't live to be a year old. Yet with prayer, love, and faith we watched him overcome every obstacle in his way. But Brian was the one with the most amazing faith. One that is rare to find. Because every time he faced surgery, couldn't breathe, or nearly died, he looked at me and said, "Mom just pray."

No matter how sick he was, how bad he hurt, or what he had to go through, he rarely complained. When I'd ask, "How you feeling Brian?" he'd reply with "I'm good!" and stick his thumb in the air with a bright smile.

It didn't take much to cheer him up. Mostly he was the one doing the cheering! Born with a great sense of humor, he always had the ability to make everyone, especially nurses and doctors laugh. A practical joker of sorts, he was always pulling a fast one on someone. He loved to poke fun at new techs, nurses, and doctors.


He loved many things in life. The Lord Jesus was top on that list. He'd given his life to the Lord at a very young age and seldom wavered. Next would be his family and dogs. He loved Snickers, Baby Ruth, and Wanakiya. They loved him just as much. The day before Brian passed, Baby Ruth would not leave his side. And any time he had to be away from home in the hospital, a visit from therapy dogs always made his day. When he was home and well, he enjoyed going on pet therapy visits to cheer others up.

Brian also loved to cook, and was one of the best. The morning he went home to be with the Lord, the house smelled so yummy it took me away from my computer. I knew he was up and asked what he was making. He said, "The usual." It was one of his delicious hamburgers. He cooked steaks, potatoes, and made some mean macaroni and cheese. And he brought me breakfast many times to my computer. But his all time church favorite is when he would cook hotdogs on the grill for all the players, family, and friends.

Brian loved to serve others, help others, and heal others. It didn't take any persuading for him to jump on board when there was a mission to accomplish. He helped the family teach pet therapy, he helped in parades and other events, and kept the dogs under control during Take A Bite Out Of Abuse presentations. He was passionate about stopping bullying, abuse, and violence and helping others so they wouldn't hurt like he had. That is why when the kids found a jar of his change that he'd been saving and brought it to me, God immediately gave me the idea of using the slogan be the CHANGE FOR BRIAN to raise money to stop abuse, bullying and violence in our country.

He was great with the little money he had and always tithed, bought pizza for everyone, and always managed to save some too.

He wanted a job more than anything. Each summer since the age of 13 he worked in the Baker College Summer Youth program. He worked in the kitchen at the hospital, cleaned the schools and grounds in Corunna, and even worked at Oak Hill Cemetery. Nothing he did was easy for him. He'd underwent several heart surgeries and near death experiences from 13 on. He was even placed on the heart transplant list after receiving a mechanical aortic valve and pacemaker at 16. Yet, he persevered, and graduated with honors from Owosso High School in 2007.

As soon as he graduated he put applications in everywhere. But with his underlying conditions and our tough economy, he never got a paying job. But he worked. He worked harder than most young men his age who are healthy. Any time the family was planning an event, he was right beside them every step of the way, packaging candy for a parade, toting boxes, packing the van, you name it, he did it.

If you never got to know Brian, you missed out. He was one of the few people that are real in the world. He never judged, never had a bad word to say about anyone, and always thought positively. Even the many times he faced death, he'd say, "Mom don't worry, I'm not afraid to die. I know where I'm going."

I know where Brian is today, in heaven in the arms of Jesus. I do mourn for our great loss, but not for him, because I know he's happy, healthier than he's ever been, and totally free, but mostly I mourn for those who have never accepted Jesus and are still bitter and unforgiving of their bullies.

It's time we make a CHANGE in our lives, a CHANGE in our communities, have a CHANGE of heart and be the CHANGE for Brian to stop abuse, bullying and violence  http://www.takeabiteoutofabuse.com/change.html.

Freedom From Abuse

Freedom From Abuse

As a child I was neglected. Oh I had plenty of food, clothes, and toys. And I guess my parents loved me, but I didn't feel loved or valued. It was like no one listened to me or wanted to hear what I had to say. They didn't want to be bothered with me.

In my search for love and acceptance in my neighborhood, I found abuse. Boys and men used and abused me, and out of fear I let them.

Driven by fear, horrible insecurities set in. And on top of that I was numb. I had this huge aching hole in my heart.

I tried to fill it with everything throughout my teen years; boyfriends, drugs, alcohol, etc, but the hole just got bigger.

At school I was the odd girl out. I wasn't pretty enough and preppy enough to hang out with snotty rich girls. The geeks didn't want me either.

So I ran away. I ran from one thing to the next. Even one state to the next as I hitchhiked around the USA. I didn't find love and acceptance there either. Nope. I suffered even more abuse. And now I was starving, only had the clothes on my back, penniless, taken hostage, raped, and nearly killed.

For years I was trapped in a vicious cycle of abuse. For years I chose men who abused me. Then it began happening to my children.

That's when I drew the line. I tried to stop it before. I tried to get help. I tried to save my failing marriage that I was always told was my fault.

Yep, it was my fault he was addicted to pornography. It was my fault he cheated. And it was my fault he molested our three children.

NOT! It took awhile to get my head on straight, but, at 26 I finally stopped believing the lie. I finally found the TRUTH and the TRUTH is what set me free.

People can lie to us and tell us they'll change. We can lie to ourselves and try to believe the abuse will get better. Or we can face the truth, that we cannot change anyone, they have to want to get help. Sadly, most people who abuse want to get help, but they're afraid of being judged if they seek it. They're also believing the lie.

Anyone can get free. I know. I did.

As long as you have breath in your body it's not too late. It's your choice. Will you remain a prisoner inside your own home believing the lie, or will you let the TRUTH set you free?

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." - Galatians 5:1

GET FREE TODAY WITH THIS FREE BOOK OFFER "Run For Your Life" about my true life story @ http://www.runtolife.org

Now booking speaking engagements for 2010 & 2011.

Contact Lisa @ lisafreelife@gmail.com Via Web Sites @ http://www.abusebites.com http://www.runtolife.org http://www.atime2heal.org