How To Stop The Cyber Bully: On Twitter, Facebook, & Cellphone

Isolation, fear, and depression can drive kids, teens, and even adults to a serious low, which can cause them to commit suicide. As I’m sure most of us are aware being a victim or target of cyberbullying can also cause that tragic downward spiral. From fake Facebook pages and bad words to hate pages and death threats, cyberbullying continues to be a 24-7 battlefield for targets and victims.

Although a recent article would like to tell us differently, and basically states that cyberbullying isn’t as bad as traditional or school bullying, a recent survey on Twitter proves both are equally as dangerous. About 15,000 bully-related tweets are posted every day. This means that 100,000 nasty messages taint the digital world each week.  Read More

One users twitter account was recently shut down by police for such abuse.

These days with the use of cell phones, not only are nasty messages appearing more frequently, but also damaging photos. Kids and teens don’t always think of the consequences before sending a photo of themselves to others. Even though they may only intend for one person to see their photo, with digital imaging today and one click of a send button, the whole universe can view something that may have been intended to be very personal and private. The posting of nude or sexy images is referred to as sexting. This is cyberbullying at its worst! Article On Cell Phone Sexting

A recent survey interviewed both victims and bullies of cyberbullying and found some alarming facts from each.  Read Article

Not surprising that another report from Ontario, Canada found that girls are more likely to be bullied than boys. The survey found that 29% of girls reported being victims of cyberbullying, compared with just 15% of boys. They also discovered that 31% of girls were more likely to report being victims at school, than 26% boys. Read Article

Older men often prey on young girls and innocent victims. Recently, a 49 year-old man, who worked for the 2012 Olympics was arrested after investigators found he had 200 Twitter accounts all linked to pedophiles. Online predators and internet pornography is huge today.Read More

With new cyber bullying laws being passed, schools are finally beginning to see that they need to do more. One school in Tucson, Arizona is educating students on appropriate online behavior. The new effort is required under the federal “Protecting Children in the 21^st Century Act”—school districts must update their policies to include instructions for students. Schools must also have anti-bullying training and workshops. Read Article

Abuse Bites offers educational healing workshops on every form of abuse and bullying, that bring about the CHANGE that is so desperately need in schools, workplaces, and entire communities. Read More

Edgewave, a company out of California, believes it has the solution to help schools monitor student’s online activity. The program Iprism Social Media Security allows schools to seamlessly monitor and control user interactions with social networking applications such as Facebook and Twitter. It also gives educators visibility into student interactions with these sites. Read Article

Parents can get on board too and protect their kids with other new innovative programs. uKnowKids has just released their back to school cyberbullying infographic which includes the rising statistics of cyberbullying from the 2011-2012 school year. Their surveys found that 97% of middle schoolers have been bullied online, but only 10% reported it to a parent.

If you have a child(ren) who is(are) being bullied/cyberbullied or you’re concerned that they could be a target or a bully, here are some inside tips from uKnowKids:

• Set a Good Example:Kids learn from you and will mirror what you do.
• Talk Before It Happens:Have a chat with them about cyberbullying and what to do.
• When You See It, Address It:Whatever bullying there is, intervene and address it
• Talk About Your Rules:Let them know what happens if they cyberbully/ or bully others.
• Use a Parental Intelligence System:So you can view all their online activity.

Written by:Lisa Freeman, Lifelong Abuse Survivor & Advocate, Founder & CEO of AbuseBites.com, Healing Projects Specialist with Bully Police USA

Other Informative Articles:

Software Detects & Deters Cyberbullying

Why You Should Care: Internet Bullying (E16)    *Video* need help with speakers

School bullies take to the web in Loris

AT&T, Verizon and WebSafety Inc. Offer Cyber Protection

Cyber Security: Bullies On The Web

Is Bullying Gay?

The Battle Over Gay Teens!

In today’s language kids and teens go around saying, “That’s so gay,” about virtually everything. I’ve even heard my own boys say that and quickly corrected them, not wanting to offend or hurt anyone. Although they meant nothing by it, I knew their words could hurt.

Sadly, my boys are not the only ones saying hurtful things or verbally abusing the LBGT community. In my research I found some shocking and tragic stories.

Zach King, from Columbus, Ohio was one of those horrifying stories. Due to his sexual orientation, he was beaten by a fellow high school student last fall. He’d been bullied since the 3^rd grade. Kids would say you sound like a girl. They called him “fag” and said he acted “girly”. 

The brutal beating in high school, which was the worst bullying yet, where he was punched 20 times in the face, was actually taped on a cell phone and then put on Facebook for everyone to see. This happened in a classroom full of students and bystanders, yet, no one helped him.

Thankfully, Zach didn’t commit suicide, instead, he fought back. Today he works alongside his mother as an activist against bullying for LBGT, shares his story, and speaks out to help others. He even received the Flame of Liberty Award from the ACLU this year. Read Zach’s touching story and another story about him here.

Another alarming incident happened just this year, when a New York student, 14 year old Kardin Ulysse was attacked by another student. He actually lost his sight in one eye. After two surgeries doctors have given up and say he will need a transplant. They are not sure if the damage to his eye was from the blows from the punches or the shards of glass from his eyeglasses. Read Kardin’s Full Story.

Tragically, Zach and Kardin are NOT ALONE. Upon digging deeper and doing more research, I have learned some heartbreaking statistics today. I found that the number one reason Lesbians and Gays are bullied is due to their appearance—the way they choose to look/dress. The second reason is because of their gender identity. In one of our workshops, a boy who was gay came up afterwards, gave me a hug and said, “Thanks for your message today. Nobody accepts me for who I am, so I’ve been pretending I’m not gay just so I won’t get teased and people will like me.” How sad!

I discovered that:

•  Bullying Statistics say 1 in 7 kids are bullied or are the bully. Yet, 9 out 10 Lesbians and Gays have reported being bullied over the last year.
•  LBGT, those with disabilities, and those overweight are bullied 63% more than others.
• Gays/Lesbians are 5 times more likely to miss school because they feel unsafe.
• 28% of LBGT’s feel forced to drop out of school all together.
• LBGT are 2-3 times more likely to attempt or commit suicide more than their peers.

In June of this year, a precious teen, 16-year-old, Brandon Elizares, from El Paso, TX, took his own life after being bullied and threatened at school because of his sexuality. His suicide note read, “I couldn’t make it.” His mother reported that kids had threatened to stab and burn him to death. However, she believes the school did everything they could on their part. This was a vicious attack of cyber bullying and cyber threats. Read Brandon’s Story Here.

In Light of Brandon’s Story and Others, Our organization took a closer look at all the bullycides that were reported in the USA since 2009.

We found the following stories online:


In 2012 we found 31 instances of bullycide among kids and teens, 6 of which were openly gay. 


In 2011 we found 43 instances of bullycide among kids and teens, also 6 of which were openly gay/ 3 were labeled gay.


In 2010 we found 40 instances of bullycide among kids and teens, 8 of which were openly gay/ 2 were labeled gay.


In 2009 we only found 5 stories pertaining to bullycide among kids and teens, 1 of which was openly gay/ 1 who was labeled gay.

America needs to wake up before it’s too late! Bullying isn’t Gay, shouldn’t be gay, and needs to be Stopped in Every Realm!

Great stars like Ellen DeGeneres have paved the way for those coming out and choosing openly gay lifestyles! I’m not gay or lesbian—but I do love Ellen!

Everyone in the world needs to see the fact that we are all different, yet we are all the same.

Our Anti-Bullying CHANGE workshops are geared to bring Change & Equality to all people and stop abuse, bullying and violence.

In one of our demonstrations: I give a few kids, teens, and adults (whoever is present in our workshops) various pieces of change, all totaling a dollar. I explain that it all looks different, but yet is entirely equal, of the same value, and can be spent the same. That’s how human beings are, we’re all different (race, gender, sexuality, color, etc), yet each of us has the same value and worth! Each of us wants the same thing, to be loved and accepted for who we are.

We challenge everyone to have a CHANGE OF HEART and decide not to be victims, bystanders, and bullies. We encourage them to make a change, and be survivors, so they can be the change for others to see. Our ultimate goal is to CHANGE HEARTS & SAVE LIVES in memory of our son, Brian, who lived and died forgiving his bullies. After he died we found a CHANGE jar he’d been saving… Read More Here

Written by: Lisa Freeman @ www.abusebites.com, who’s daughter, Melissa, is openly a lesbian. However, before Melissa made that decision, kids teased her relentlessly saying she looked like a boy and called her gay. Everyone in Freeman’s family was abused or bullied (even their dogs!), and have not only survived, but healed. Lisa shares their inspirational stories of abuse, bullying and survival abroad!

Founder & CEO Abuse Bites, Healing Projects Specialist Bully Police USA, Lifelong Abuse Survivor & Advocate, Award-Winning Author & Speaker, Certified Pet Therapist & Dog Trainer

More Stories About LGBT

One Gay Teens Survival Story

Bullying Works—article on anti-LGBTQ

Should A Victim Forgive His Bully? DISCUSSION

SHOULD A VICTIM FORGIVE HIS BULLY? 

YOU TELL ME/ OPEN DISCUSSION

Today, school's many times do not hold the bullies responsible for their actions. Sometimes they even blame the victims and punish them. Then what?

This victim is told by the school to forgive his bully and suck it up and return to school with the bully...

Click the link to read this story  http://bit.ly/LT7yLP

Please share your thoughts--we want to hear from you!

A TRIBUTE TO ALL VICTIMS & HEROES of BULLYING

Happy Birthday in Heaven Brian. RIP

No More Hurtful Words & Painful Surgeries.

Losing a child is probably by far the hardest thing a parent has to face. So my heart goes out to all VICTIMS & HEROES of Bullying & Abuse and their families today!

A Tribute to my son, Brian and all Victims & Heroes of Bullying & Abuse:

Although you've only been gone for nearly two years, it seems like forever. However, I can still see your smile, feel your love and compassion for others, and the drive you had to stop abuse, bullying and violence.

Last year on your birthday, we launched 23 balloons from your grave site, with messages written on them and cards attached to stop bullying in your memory.

This year on 6/27/2012, we launched our brand new website in your memory and honor to continue your mission to CHANGE HEARTS & SAVE LIVES and stop bullying in the USA. Love and hugs all the way to heaven!

Anti-Bullying Workshops that Save Lives

Lately we've been swamped with emails, phone calls, and letters from parents, schools, and churches to do anti-bullying workshops.

The need to stop bullying and get help is huge.

Last week we did three workshops. We did a back to back entire youth presentation for 7th-12th and then K-6th for the younger students. Wow! Great time! But it hit a nerve in my heart when I heard that even a 2nd grader who had been terribly bullied said, "I want to kill myself."

I had been contemplating if the younger kids should really hear our "bullycide" story about my son, Jeremiah. But I felt led to share it, and now I'm so glad I did.

We never know who might be feeling ready to end their life because they just can't take it anymore. Our workshops can literally save lives.

Another thing that I heard was that people were thankful that we addressed how we "help and love the bully" knowing it's not a person, bullying is an action, and anyone can change, but first we must BE THE CHANGE they can see.

Little kids even came up and said it was a great time. So thankful that we can have fun, play games, and interact with the kids and teens--that's so important.

We don't just tell them a bunch of stuff, we have lived abuse and we have healed from it.

We don't simply put a band-aid on bully, we help others heal in a fun, safe way.

So if you're in need of an antibullying presentation for your school, church, or community--give us a call!

Together we can change hearts and save lives!

989-729-2124

Almost Bullied to Death

Lisa Freeman tells story about her teenage son that was almost bullied to death in high school. After getting him the appropriate help now he's healed and writes and sings songs to help others. MTV is even considering a film about Jeremiah entitled "Bullied" and using one of his songs.

BALLOON LAUNCH TO STOP BULLYING ABUSE VIOLENCE

BALLOON LAUNCH TO STOP BULLYING

Lisa Freeman, of Owosso, and CEO of Abuse Bites will be launching 23 Balloons with a dual message. One message that she wishes to get out to the public is that we can Stop Bullying. She has attached cards in envelopes to each balloon regarding the Walk n Talk she will be doing all across Michigan to bring healing to entire communities for victims, bystanders, bullies. The second message is to honor her son Brian (as well as all victims of bullying/bullycide). Why 23 balloons? Because Brian would have celebrated his 23rd birthday on Monday. He was bullied all of his life due to having Asperger's Syndrome and a rare heart condition. Yet, he lived and died forgiving his bullies.

"Each balloon has a message and a card attached," Lisa Freeman says. "Brian wanted to go all over to Stop Bullying, Abuse and Violence, so we're sending these balloons and cards out in his honor, hoping that anyone who finds them will let us know how far they went."

Handwritten questions are attached to each one: How far will you go to Stop Abuse? Change of Heart for Brian, to change hearts and save lives.

The launch will take place at Hillcrest Cemetery in Owosso, Michigan at Brian's grave (which is located on the very last road on the SOUTH SIDE of the cemetery) on Sunday, June 26th at 4 p.m. Everyone is invited!

For more information please click here.

Education Key to Stop Bullycide & All Forms of Bullying

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Yet in the last few weeks across the nation there have been at least twelve bullycide victims. Bullycide is the result of someone being bullied to the point of taking their own life.

The latest bullycide report was in Boston, Massachusetts, where a 10-year-old girl was found hanging by a scarf in a closet. "This is heart wrenching," says Lisa Freeman, who founded the anti-bullying program, Take A Bite Out Of Abuse. "Things like this don't have to happen."

Freeman believes with proper education, kids, teens, parents, and teachers will have the tools they need to take the proper action for prevention in the future. "Accidental suicides happen all the time," she says. "Kids today are playing dangerous games like the choking game."

This is just one of the many self-abuse topics Freeman discusses in her interactive workshops. "The choking game is where kids take an object such as a rope, scarf or tie and wrap it around their neck for a high feeling," she says. "Typically they are with someone else the first time they try it, so when they pass out, the friend is able to loosen the grip so they can breathe. However, when they try it alone, there's no one to release the grip and it ends up killing them."

It is Freeman's goal, as well as her whole family, to travel around the country to educate others on bullying and abuse. "I don't want another person to lose their life," she said. "I almost lost my son to bullycide two years ago."

Freeman's son, Jeremiah, was a sophomore then. He had been bullied all his life, was even threatened, and would have severe panic attacks when even thinking of going to school. "He wrapped a belt around his neck three times," she said. "Thankfully we knew the warning signs and got him the help he needed and now he's helping others."

A benefit has been set for the Freeman's in memory of their other son, Brian, who passed away in August. He had Asperger's Syndrome and a rare heart defect. He was bullied all this life. Yet, he lived and died forgiving his bullies. The EATS and BEATS for CHANGE to TAKE A BITE OUT OF ABUSE will take place on Sunday, November 7^th from 4-9 p.m @ Gi Gi's Banquet and Catering. The Mayor, Ben Frederick, will give an address. Limited seating is available. Advanced tickets are $10 per person/ $20 per family ($5 more at door). Mail check/MO to: The Freeman Family, PO Box 1582, Owosso, MI  48867. Get Tickets & info online @ www.abusebites.com.

Speech About Healing From Abuse & Bullying

Let me first say I am both humbled and honored to be here tonight. When Coach Dave Wilson asked me to speak, I was honored, yet at the same time didn't know if I could meet the challenge. Not just because one of my son, Brian, just passed away. But because of an abusive lifestyle I suffered, I have battled with severe panic attacks for years. Yet when God opens a door, even though I might feel fear initially, I know that with him I can do all things.

Yes, with God all things are possible.

Most of you probably don't know that my son Jeremiah also battled severe panic attacks. His panic is also related to being bullied and abused. By the 10^th grade he was bullied so badly in school that he became desperate and even suicidal. Even when we got him the help he needed and began schooling him at home, he had severe panic attacks any time he left the house.

He tried to fit in with other kids outside of school at the YMCA. Even tried to join the Y's basketball team, but he was bullied there too. Even though he was a pretty good player, they didn't allow him the chance to be on the team.

That's when we heard about THE FALCONS and spoke with Coach Hadley. He signed Jeremiah up right away for the next season. But in the meantime Jeremiah was invited to basketball practices and basketball camps, which took place in this very gym.

I'm not going to tell you Jeremiah wasn't nervous or never had panic attacks again. But what I am going to tell you is that this gym is where Jeremiah's healing began. On the court he gained back everything those bullies had stolen from him and so much more. We watched as he persevered to overcome every obstacle in his way, to become not only a STARTER basketball player that made excellent 3 point shots, but a wonderful young man of God.

So I want to thank Coach Hadley, Coach Dave, all the Falcons, and the Owosso Free Methodist Church for literally saving our son's life. God used all of you and this awesome place to bring about a healing that we could have never given him. Yes, with God all things are possible, especially when people like you make amazing sacrifices and pray the price. Thank you for being instruments in the Lords hands. Thank you all and God bless!

For more on our workshops, speaking, etc log onto http://www.abusebites.com 

Brian—He Lived and Died Forgiving His Bullies

 In Memory of my son, Brian, 22, who died forgiving his bullies

Brian was many times misunderstood by his peers, adults, and even his teachers.

Born with Asperger's Syndrome, he had his own unique way of communicating. He had to touch, smell, and taste everything around him. I remember when he was really little going into Meijer's shopping and he closed his eyes and ran his hands through rows of clothes on either side and then came to grips with a woman's pregnant belly and began feeling that too. Thankfully the lady just laughed it off and saw Brian for who he was a very unique and explorative child.

Instead of reading children's books, Brian read the dictionary and Bible mostly. The morning of his passing he read the first chapter in Ruth. So intelligent, there wasn't much he didn't know. People thought he was weird or wasn't paying attention most of the time, even his teachers complained, but he always knew what was going on, and even more. He saw the world through God's eyes.

Although he was bullied by others since his feet first hit the ground, he loved who he was, learned to forgive them, and focused on helping others who were hurting. 

Due to a congenital heart defect and only two chambers in his heart, Doctors said Brian wouldn't live to be a year old. Yet with prayer, love, and faith we watched him overcome every obstacle in his way. But Brian was the one with the most amazing faith. One that is rare to find. Because every time he faced surgery, couldn't breathe, or nearly died, he looked at me and said, "Mom just pray."

No matter how sick he was, how bad he hurt, or what he had to go through, he rarely complained. When I'd ask, "How you feeling Brian?" he'd reply with "I'm good!" and stick his thumb in the air with a bright smile.

It didn't take much to cheer him up. Mostly he was the one doing the cheering! Born with a great sense of humor, he always had the ability to make everyone, especially nurses and doctors laugh. A practical joker of sorts, he was always pulling a fast one on someone. He loved to poke fun at new techs, nurses, and doctors.


He loved many things in life. The Lord Jesus was top on that list. He'd given his life to the Lord at a very young age and seldom wavered. Next would be his family and dogs. He loved Snickers, Baby Ruth, and Wanakiya. They loved him just as much. The day before Brian passed, Baby Ruth would not leave his side. And any time he had to be away from home in the hospital, a visit from therapy dogs always made his day. When he was home and well, he enjoyed going on pet therapy visits to cheer others up.

Brian also loved to cook, and was one of the best. The morning he went home to be with the Lord, the house smelled so yummy it took me away from my computer. I knew he was up and asked what he was making. He said, "The usual." It was one of his delicious hamburgers. He cooked steaks, potatoes, and made some mean macaroni and cheese. And he brought me breakfast many times to my computer. But his all time church favorite is when he would cook hotdogs on the grill for all the players, family, and friends.

Brian loved to serve others, help others, and heal others. It didn't take any persuading for him to jump on board when there was a mission to accomplish. He helped the family teach pet therapy, he helped in parades and other events, and kept the dogs under control during Take A Bite Out Of Abuse presentations. He was passionate about stopping bullying, abuse, and violence and helping others so they wouldn't hurt like he had. That is why when the kids found a jar of his change that he'd been saving and brought it to me, God immediately gave me the idea of using the slogan be the CHANGE FOR BRIAN to raise money to stop abuse, bullying and violence in our country.

He was great with the little money he had and always tithed, bought pizza for everyone, and always managed to save some too.

He wanted a job more than anything. Each summer since the age of 13 he worked in the Baker College Summer Youth program. He worked in the kitchen at the hospital, cleaned the schools and grounds in Corunna, and even worked at Oak Hill Cemetery. Nothing he did was easy for him. He'd underwent several heart surgeries and near death experiences from 13 on. He was even placed on the heart transplant list after receiving a mechanical aortic valve and pacemaker at 16. Yet, he persevered, and graduated with honors from Owosso High School in 2007.

As soon as he graduated he put applications in everywhere. But with his underlying conditions and our tough economy, he never got a paying job. But he worked. He worked harder than most young men his age who are healthy. Any time the family was planning an event, he was right beside them every step of the way, packaging candy for a parade, toting boxes, packing the van, you name it, he did it.

If you never got to know Brian, you missed out. He was one of the few people that are real in the world. He never judged, never had a bad word to say about anyone, and always thought positively. Even the many times he faced death, he'd say, "Mom don't worry, I'm not afraid to die. I know where I'm going."

I know where Brian is today, in heaven in the arms of Jesus. I do mourn for our great loss, but not for him, because I know he's happy, healthier than he's ever been, and totally free, but mostly I mourn for those who have never accepted Jesus and are still bitter and unforgiving of their bullies.

It's time we make a CHANGE in our lives, a CHANGE in our communities, have a CHANGE of heart and be the CHANGE for Brian to stop abuse, bullying and violence  http://www.takeabiteoutofabuse.com/change.html.