ACCEPT or EXCEPT Gays & Lesbians & Those who are Different

ACCEPTANCE

Some people are confused today about what bullying is. BULLYING can be as simple as not accepting someone, or excluding them from your little group, or making a verbal comment about their choice of lifestyle, moral or religious beliefs.

I will tell you I am a Christian, but I love and accept all people of various religions, race, creed, and sexual orientation. I may not agree with all their views, but I respect and love them. The only people we can change is us.

The Bible tells us in Mathew 7:5 that we are hypocrites when we are looking at the speck in someone else’s eye, without first removing the PLANK in our own.

My daughter has chosen to live in a lesbian relationship. Do I agree with her decision, not fully, but I do accept her decision and love her no matter what.

That’s how God is, he loves us so much that he gave each of us a free will and choice.

So as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, by loving and accepting all people, of all walks of life, and be the CHANGE that others need to see.

I’m an educator in the public schools as well. Acceptance and Differences are a couple of my favorite topics of discussion. With smaller children we use four very different looking puppets to display how different they are, but also to point out that underneath, just like us they are exactly the same—they’re puppets. For older children we play a dollar game. Each of seven kids are given various bills and coins that total a dollar. They all look very different, but they all equal the same, and have the same value just like us!

We are all different, yet very much the same.

We all want to feel accepted, valued and loved for who we are, not for how we look or the choices we make.

Matt’s Safe School Law just passed in Michigan. They finally accepted the law Kevin Epling and his wife Tammy have been working on for years in regard to their son Matt who committed suicide in relation to bullying. However, when the bill past, our legislature put a twist on that bill, that states anyone can still bully for moral or religious views. This is something that we as educators SHOULD NOT accept!

I hope you will stand with us and be the change that others need to see. Not only do we present workshops in schools, work places, and communities, but our goal is to leave each community better than when we came, and equipped with the tools they need to be the change. Safer Schools. Safer Families. Safer Communities.

Contact us today! I would love to speak with you about bringing our program to your community!

Lisa Freeman, CEO Abuse Bites

Healing Projects Specialist, Bully Police USA

Award Winning Author & Speaker

Certified Pet Therapist & Dog Trainer

Http://www.abusebites.com  Email: abusebites@gmail.com

Don't Buy The Lie

Seems like since I was a little girl, I was being fed one lie after another.

It started with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, but then more harmful dangerous lies came into play.

My brothers older friends, neighborhood boys/men, and even some of my friends from school did unspeakable acts I was sworn not to tell. “It will be our little secret,” they’d say. I wanted to tell my mom, but I was too ashamed and I was scared. I thought she’d probably blame me anyway. And many of my abusers had threatened me. What if their threats were true?

So I bought the lie. The lie that I had to stay in abusive relationships. The lie that no one would ever want me. The lie that no one would love me. The lie that I would have to settle for whoever came along.

All my life I bought the lie of abuse. 

My alcoholic husband dropped to his knees and wept over my battered body, “I’m sorry. I promise if you stay I’ll never hurt you again.”

Sadly, I bought the lie again and again until he almost killed me. And even after I left him, I still kept buying the lies of abuse.

My 2^nd husband, who went to church faithfully, swore a million times that he’d never look at pornography or cheat on me on me again. 

I bought the lie time and time again and stayed with him for seven painful years until I learned he sexually abused our three children. That's when I began seeking the truth, and the truth set me free!

Don’t buy the lie! Don’t settle for abuse! 

I know it's hard to break free. I didn’t even start getting my life together until the age of 26. I hadn’t even finished high school, let alone junior high. I had dropped out in the 7th grade. Yet, a single mother of three, I went back to school, got my GED, went onto college, maintained a 4.0, and made the Dean’s List. Later, after battling severe panic attacks and agoraphobia, I graduated from Vision International with a degree in Christian Ministry, became an Award-Winning Christian Author, Certified Pet Therapist/Dog Trainer, and started two non-profit organizations A Time To Heal and Abuse Bites to break the cycle of abuse and help others heal.

Abuse is a choice. You can be a victim or you can be a survivor. I was a victim far too long. Today I’m a survivor, because I stopped buying the lie. I pray that you do too! You deserve better. It's the truth that sets us free!

If you or someone you know is stuck in the cycle of abuse and needs help please call 9-1-1 or the national domestic abuse hotline @ 1-800-799-SAFE. You may also contact me. I’d love to help in any way I can.

We offer workshops to educate, prevent, and bring awareness on all types of abuse and bullying in the school, work place and community. We’d be honored to work with you to bring our program to your area! http://www.abusebites.com.

Education Key to Stop Bullycide & All Forms of Bullying

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Yet in the last few weeks across the nation there have been at least twelve bullycide victims. Bullycide is the result of someone being bullied to the point of taking their own life.

The latest bullycide report was in Boston, Massachusetts, where a 10-year-old girl was found hanging by a scarf in a closet. "This is heart wrenching," says Lisa Freeman, who founded the anti-bullying program, Take A Bite Out Of Abuse. "Things like this don't have to happen."

Freeman believes with proper education, kids, teens, parents, and teachers will have the tools they need to take the proper action for prevention in the future. "Accidental suicides happen all the time," she says. "Kids today are playing dangerous games like the choking game."

This is just one of the many self-abuse topics Freeman discusses in her interactive workshops. "The choking game is where kids take an object such as a rope, scarf or tie and wrap it around their neck for a high feeling," she says. "Typically they are with someone else the first time they try it, so when they pass out, the friend is able to loosen the grip so they can breathe. However, when they try it alone, there's no one to release the grip and it ends up killing them."

It is Freeman's goal, as well as her whole family, to travel around the country to educate others on bullying and abuse. "I don't want another person to lose their life," she said. "I almost lost my son to bullycide two years ago."

Freeman's son, Jeremiah, was a sophomore then. He had been bullied all his life, was even threatened, and would have severe panic attacks when even thinking of going to school. "He wrapped a belt around his neck three times," she said. "Thankfully we knew the warning signs and got him the help he needed and now he's helping others."

A benefit has been set for the Freeman's in memory of their other son, Brian, who passed away in August. He had Asperger's Syndrome and a rare heart defect. He was bullied all this life. Yet, he lived and died forgiving his bullies. The EATS and BEATS for CHANGE to TAKE A BITE OUT OF ABUSE will take place on Sunday, November 7^th from 4-9 p.m @ Gi Gi's Banquet and Catering. The Mayor, Ben Frederick, will give an address. Limited seating is available. Advanced tickets are $10 per person/ $20 per family ($5 more at door). Mail check/MO to: The Freeman Family, PO Box 1582, Owosso, MI  48867. Get Tickets & info online @ www.abusebites.com.

Speech About Healing From Abuse & Bullying

Let me first say I am both humbled and honored to be here tonight. When Coach Dave Wilson asked me to speak, I was honored, yet at the same time didn't know if I could meet the challenge. Not just because one of my son, Brian, just passed away. But because of an abusive lifestyle I suffered, I have battled with severe panic attacks for years. Yet when God opens a door, even though I might feel fear initially, I know that with him I can do all things.

Yes, with God all things are possible.

Most of you probably don't know that my son Jeremiah also battled severe panic attacks. His panic is also related to being bullied and abused. By the 10^th grade he was bullied so badly in school that he became desperate and even suicidal. Even when we got him the help he needed and began schooling him at home, he had severe panic attacks any time he left the house.

He tried to fit in with other kids outside of school at the YMCA. Even tried to join the Y's basketball team, but he was bullied there too. Even though he was a pretty good player, they didn't allow him the chance to be on the team.

That's when we heard about THE FALCONS and spoke with Coach Hadley. He signed Jeremiah up right away for the next season. But in the meantime Jeremiah was invited to basketball practices and basketball camps, which took place in this very gym.

I'm not going to tell you Jeremiah wasn't nervous or never had panic attacks again. But what I am going to tell you is that this gym is where Jeremiah's healing began. On the court he gained back everything those bullies had stolen from him and so much more. We watched as he persevered to overcome every obstacle in his way, to become not only a STARTER basketball player that made excellent 3 point shots, but a wonderful young man of God.

So I want to thank Coach Hadley, Coach Dave, all the Falcons, and the Owosso Free Methodist Church for literally saving our son's life. God used all of you and this awesome place to bring about a healing that we could have never given him. Yes, with God all things are possible, especially when people like you make amazing sacrifices and pray the price. Thank you for being instruments in the Lords hands. Thank you all and God bless!

For more on our workshops, speaking, etc log onto http://www.abusebites.com 

Fear Of Being Bullied

Do you live in fear every day? Did you stop going certain places for fear you'd be bullied? Have you become a prisoner in your own home?

An estimated 160,000 children stay home from school every day for fear of being bullied. 30 % of all parents fear that their child will be hurt at school. And four out of ten kids are bullied or know someone who is.

My son, Jeremiah, was one of those kids. He was bullied in the 5th grade all the way until his junior year. His self-esteem dropped to an all time low. He feared going to school. He feared being around other kids. And he feared leaving the house.

Jeremiah would always make excuses for not wanting to go places. I thought he was just getting older and didn't want to hang out with us. But he had developed a severe panic disorder from the bullying he suffered. For a time he totally isolated himself for fear no one would accept him.

Thankfully we got him help and he now helps in our program "Take A Bite Out Of Abuse" by sharing his story and songs that he wrote to help others.

Signs Your Child Is Living In Fear Of Being Bullied:

-Say their sick and can't go to school

-Say they don't want to go places they used to enjoy going

-Say they don't want to join groups (basketball, karate, etc)

-Stay home all the time and don't want to go anywhere

-Stop hanging out with friends or make excuses not to


Some Ways You Can Help Them Conquer Their Fears


-Talk with them about the situation

-Get them into a counselor/therapist

-See your regular doctor in case they might need some medication

-Don't allow them to isolate themselves

-Require them to come along to all events and family outings, letting them know that if they feel panic coming on, you'll be there for them, and if they need to get some air, that's okay

-Require them to join a group of their choosing, but be ready to talk, listen, and intervene if bullying should start there too

*For more information or to see what we are doing to fight back, log onto our website @ http://www.abusebites.com

"All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be nothing at all. For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid." Isaiah 41:11-14a

Author & Dog In Active Duty To Fight Bullying

Lisa Freeman, an award-winning author of Owosso, and her therapy dog, Snickers, have been honored with the position as Healing Projects Specialist with the Bully Police USA (www.bullypolice.org). Bully Police USA is a Watch-dog Organization-advocating for bullied children and reporting on state anti bullying laws.

"When I contacted Brenda High about becoming a member, I was blown away," Freeman said. "She said, 'I love your program and I've never heard of anything like what you offer. You're stories of healing are so amazing. And everyone loves dogs.' That's when she said was adding us to her speaker's bureau and also asked me to be their Healing Projects Specialist."

Freeman first learned about Brenda High after doing some research on bullying. Ms. High founded the non-profit organization in honor of her son, Jared, who was a victim of bullying and who later took his own life @ 13 as a result of bullying (bullycide). More about Jared can be found @ http://www.jaredstory.com/.

Jared's mother works feverishly to get anti bullying laws passed in the United States so that kids and parents won't have to suffer the way she and her son have. Although there isn't an anti bullying law in Michigan at this moment, "Matt's Law" is currently in the works, in honor of Matt Epling, who was also a victim of bullycide in 2002. More about Matt can be found @ http://mattepling.webs.com/antibullying.htm.

As an active member of the Bully Police USA, Freeman, her dogs, and family hope to tackle the war on bullying here in Michigan, through their innovative program Take A Bite Out Of Abuse. They will not only educate, bring awareness, and safety techniques to children, parents, and educators, but they will also help those who have been abused/bullied to find hope and healing in their own lives.

Recently Take A Bite Out Of Abuse was asked by RAVE to present their program to staff members in Clinton County. "After we finished," Freeman says, "we were told that it was the best anti bullying program they've ever seen, and would refer us to all schools in the area in the upcoming year. "

For more information about bullying, abuse, or Take A Bite Out OF Abuse and the workshops offered, please feel free to contact Lisa Freeman via web @ www.abusebites.com or www.runtolife.org, via email @ abusebites@gmail.com, or via phone @ 989-729-2124.

Bullying & Back To School--Who Decides?

Jeremiah, my youngest son, now a junior in high school, surprised me a few weeks ago. "Mom, I want to try to go back to school."

The courage rendered in his voice, along with the positive changes I'd seen in the past six months, made tears come to my eyes. He'd come so far. Could he really go back and rise above the peer pressure, bullying, and verbal abuse? I swallowed hard, trying to hold back my emotion.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'd like to try."

The past year of torment he suffered--we suffered, flashed before my eyes. I rationed... But he is 16, I have to let him make his own decision. My heart raged... No, not again!

As Jeremiah went out to shoot hoops I sat in silence, pondering all the things that had happened over the past year. It all began on the first day of school, when a couple kids started calling him names.

Within minutes, Jeremiah got really sick, his face turned gray, he was all sweaty, and couldn't breath. We later learned at the hospital that he had suffered a full blown panic attack. Since I'd battled panic too, I completely understood how scary having an episode can be, especially when you don't know what's happening. Still we tried to encourage him that he needed to go back to school to overcome this thing.

But every day as the bullying increased, so did his level of anxiety. We called for an emergency IEP meeting at school, and brainstormed with all the professionals.

The doctors, social workers and therapists all tried to come up with a solution to keep him in school. Nothing they suggested alleviated the stress or the deep depression that would soon follow. We wanted him schooled at home from the beginning, because the pressure was just too much. But all the professionals told us that the best thing for Jeremiah and his panic disorder was that he stay in school. In a way I knew they were right--to overcome panic you can't keep yourself isolated, but at the same time, he would need to feel safe and be in a safe place, without being bullied, while healing.

So, under a doctors care, Jeremiah started taking prescribed medication for anxiety. They even tweaked his schedule so he'd only have to go half days. We were hopeful with the new meds and schedule everything would get better, but little did we know our son was on a downward spiral.

Not only did the bullying and verbal abuse at school continue and intensify to the point that his life was threatened, but he started cutting and became suicidal. (I later learned that he had wrapped a belt around his neck 3 times!) He was crying out for help, yet none of us were listening to pain he suffered in silence, behind closed doors.

Thankfully, one night he opened up to me. When I found out everything he was going through, I was heartbroken, devastated, and had no idea what to do. Here we sat helplessly, with our totally despondent tearful son in the padded room at Emergency searching for answers. He had so much depression and shame he wouldn't even look the doctor in the eye as he answered questions.

I shook my head in disbelief. How did we get here? It didn't seem real. With all the medical professionals, the whole school board, and two parents who loved their child more than anything, how could this possibly happen? I felt we had failed Jeremiah and everyone around us had failed him too. I was an abuse advocate traveling to all these schools, teaching kids how to get out of abuse, and here I sat dumbfounded.

But I wasn't giving up, and thankfully neither was Jeremiah.

In November I told the school, doctors, and social workers I'd had enough. "Jeremiah is going to be home schooled and that is final." By this point, no one was arguing. Still, the only way his counselor would allow it is if Jeremiah did not isolate himself. So over the next several months, we made an effort to get Jeremiah out into the public with peers his own age. Jeremiah fought panic, bullying, and abuse everywhere he went, but he overcame every obstacle in his way!

It has been a very long road, but today Jeremiah is healthy, happy, hanging out with a bunch of teens, he sings in our program at schools to help others, plays on softball and basketball teams, and is just enjoying life.

Now, a new school year, and all I could think is, no, we can't go back! Not that the public school is a bad place, (my three older children graduated from the same public school with honors!) just that the bullying and abuse was so brutal for Jeremiah. So I really prayed about the situation, "Okay God if it's your will for Jeremiah to go back to the public school, then fine, so be it, but if not and he's better off here, please let him make the right decision."

A few days after I prayed that prayer, Jeremiah came to me. "Mom, is it okay if I change my mind? I've been thinking about everything and I just feel that I should stay home."

I gave him a huge hug! "Of course it's okay!

The best part is, he made the decision on his own, and this year the school, counselors and doctors are totally supporting that decision too, and he'll be able to travel with us to other schools and share his story of survival and hope!

For more on bullying and verbal abuse--read our Feature Story "No More Hiding" a true story I wrote for Guideposts about a teen girl who was teased, but instead of being crushed, she rose above it all... story can be found @ (www.abusebites.com) on our What's New Page...

Good Luck going back to school...

Have an abuse-free day :)

-Lisa Freeman