Kids & Teens Stand Up to Bullying in Chesaning Michigan

Yesterday we presented our Abuse Bites Anti-Bullying Program to nearly 500 Students in the Chesaning Michigan Middle School. This was just half of the crowd! And it was an awesome time! These students learned how to stand up to bullying.

(Faces are blurred due to FERPA laws)

This is Snickers (below), our 13 year old Fox Terrier/Jack Russel who was a formerly abused/runaway that I rescued 12 years ago. He's the mascot of our program (AKA "The Bully Buster") and an award-winning certified pet therapy dog. Together we've raised over $20,000 for needy/abused people and pets of our community! When I shared his motivating story, the crowd went wild!  Kids loved on him the whole time we were there. (below) Sadly, he is barely getting around these days due to cancerous tumors, but perked up when he knew he was going to an event. 

Kids were very anxious to volunteer for all of our interactive games and demonstrations. My volunteer Amber had a tough job choosing. But everyone had a great time! (below)

We talked about accepting those who are different (gay, obese, those with disabilities). Giving them the freedom to make their own choices and accepting them for who they are. That we don't have to agree with them, but we should never bully them. The fact is, we are more alike than different, if we would really take a close look! The biggest factor is that we all have the same VALUE! (below)

These five boys helped me to put on a bullying skit. The two to my far left were joking/teasing the little guy in the orange, while the boy to my right kind of smirked and watched, while the other boy to my far right simply walked away. Proving that BYSTANDERS can be bullies too if they don't do something to help. (below)

We talked about REPORTING BULLYING versus tattling. Tattling is when you are trying to get someone in trouble, Reporting is when you are trying to get someone out of trouble! And also the four choices you have when bullied. Will you fight back, call 9-1-1 (report it), ask the audience (bystanders/friends for help), or take the 50/50 and run away. (below)

Kids Cheered & Clapped as students raised each card. But I think "Fight Back" won. Although we do fight back, I shared that it is not physically, but it is by standing up for yourself and others, and reporting so you can get the help needed. 80% of students don't report bullying, so therefore nothing is ever done to stop it. (below) 

The students cheered even more, after my son, Jeremiah sang his original song "Just A Shadow". Jeremiah was nearly bullied to death in high school, now he writes and sings songs to help others. (below)

This is Baby Ruth (below), AKA "The Bully" in our program. She was the WORST DOG we ever had, but with love, discipline, and training, she is so much better! We share her story of PAWS FOR CHANGE and how anyone (even the bully) can change with the right help! After all bullying is a behavior, not who a person is!

This is another hilarious game/demonstration we do with kids. Our Dime Game is very popular and shows kids that "pranking someone" can be bullying too. We also share that sometimes those bullying don't realize it's bullying, that's why they have to be told their behavior is wrong. (below)

We try to make our workshops fun, interactive, and educational for everyone--even those we use for our bullying demonstrations! (below)

We talk about good versus bad choices. Here I have a bottle of "dirty water" and a bottle of "clean water". We ask which the kids would drink from. Of course they choose the "clean water". We explain how if something appears to be a little wrong, it's wrong and we shouldn't do it. But if we do make bad choices we will have to drink the consequences. (below)

I use Snickers and his love for GARBAGE as a demonstration. I tell them how many times he's ran away and has gotten into the garbage and comes home later so sick he nearly dies. Then I ask, "Why do we go back to the same garbage friendships and relationships that are bringing us down?"

This is our most popular game. Our hot dog game gets the whole crowd laughing, but it also gives them a visual about PEER PRESSURE, that it's like the blind feeding the blind. I ask them what they should say to Peer Pressure and they all shout "NO!" (below)

We captured these students in the front row! That's what I like the most, if the kids are in, we win! It's all about keeping their attention throughout the entire program. I don't like boring and don't want to do boring. (below)

I know, I'm having way too much fun! This is supposed to be work, right? Love working with kids and interacting in a way that is fun for everyone. (below)

This is just one section of the crowd--even the teachers are laughing hysterically! (below)

Our telephone game is also a lot of fun, while teaching the importance of our words. Words can hurt or heal, so think before you speak! We also talk about SOCIAL BULLYING and how friends spread rumors to ruin other friends or x-friends reputations. (below)

This young man got the first part right "Zip Your Lips". That's pretty good compared to what we usually get. That's how gossip is, you forget what someone told you so you make up your own juicy story to go with it, then others do the same, until its so distorted there isn't much truth in it.

These students came forward and turned their back to the crowd and were labeled with negative words. That's what people often do, put labels on us. We tell them no matter who they are, they are unique, wonderful individuals and there is no one like them. So they removed the labels and everyone cheered! (below)

Nearly all 500 Students made their way to the Gym Floor for our "Change Challenge". We empower targets, bystanders, and bullies to make a change and Be The Change, to stop bullying for themselves and others. (below)

1 out of 7 kids bully others. In our game of Tug O War, our bully stands alone, while 6 other kids are on the other end ready to pull her to her defeat. This teen volunteered to be the bully. When I asked her if she thought she'd win, she said, "NO!" She was right! (Below)

But we don't teach the kids to pull on the rope, we tell them to simply stand together and let go, then the problem will be defeated. Too many times, like her, the victims are singled out. Stand with others to defeat bullying!

Can you imagine if the 160,000 kids that missed school every day for fear of bullying actually stood together against their bully? It would be the biggest CHANGE CHALLENGE YET!

Below is Mr. Jerry Ciarlino, Counselor at the school, ushered the event in. He's such a great guy! It's been a pleasure working with him and all the faculty at Chesaning Middle School! Thanks Jerry!

We'd love to come to your school, church, work place or community to defeat bullying too. Please include us when planning your next event. :) 

Written by: Lisa Freeman, Michigan Anti-Bullying Expert, Advocate & Survivor

CEO of Abuse Bites, Healing Projects Specialist Bully Police USA

Email/Contact Lisa Freeman

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Is Bullying Gay?

The Battle Over Gay Teens!

In today’s language kids and teens go around saying, “That’s so gay,” about virtually everything. I’ve even heard my own boys say that and quickly corrected them, not wanting to offend or hurt anyone. Although they meant nothing by it, I knew their words could hurt.

Sadly, my boys are not the only ones saying hurtful things or verbally abusing the LBGT community. In my research I found some shocking and tragic stories.

Zach King, from Columbus, Ohio was one of those horrifying stories. Due to his sexual orientation, he was beaten by a fellow high school student last fall. He’d been bullied since the 3^rd grade. Kids would say you sound like a girl. They called him “fag” and said he acted “girly”. 

The brutal beating in high school, which was the worst bullying yet, where he was punched 20 times in the face, was actually taped on a cell phone and then put on Facebook for everyone to see. This happened in a classroom full of students and bystanders, yet, no one helped him.

Thankfully, Zach didn’t commit suicide, instead, he fought back. Today he works alongside his mother as an activist against bullying for LBGT, shares his story, and speaks out to help others. He even received the Flame of Liberty Award from the ACLU this year. Read Zach’s touching story and another story about him here.

Another alarming incident happened just this year, when a New York student, 14 year old Kardin Ulysse was attacked by another student. He actually lost his sight in one eye. After two surgeries doctors have given up and say he will need a transplant. They are not sure if the damage to his eye was from the blows from the punches or the shards of glass from his eyeglasses. Read Kardin’s Full Story.

Tragically, Zach and Kardin are NOT ALONE. Upon digging deeper and doing more research, I have learned some heartbreaking statistics today. I found that the number one reason Lesbians and Gays are bullied is due to their appearance—the way they choose to look/dress. The second reason is because of their gender identity. In one of our workshops, a boy who was gay came up afterwards, gave me a hug and said, “Thanks for your message today. Nobody accepts me for who I am, so I’ve been pretending I’m not gay just so I won’t get teased and people will like me.” How sad!

I discovered that:

•  Bullying Statistics say 1 in 7 kids are bullied or are the bully. Yet, 9 out 10 Lesbians and Gays have reported being bullied over the last year.
•  LBGT, those with disabilities, and those overweight are bullied 63% more than others.
• Gays/Lesbians are 5 times more likely to miss school because they feel unsafe.
• 28% of LBGT’s feel forced to drop out of school all together.
• LBGT are 2-3 times more likely to attempt or commit suicide more than their peers.

In June of this year, a precious teen, 16-year-old, Brandon Elizares, from El Paso, TX, took his own life after being bullied and threatened at school because of his sexuality. His suicide note read, “I couldn’t make it.” His mother reported that kids had threatened to stab and burn him to death. However, she believes the school did everything they could on their part. This was a vicious attack of cyber bullying and cyber threats. Read Brandon’s Story Here.

In Light of Brandon’s Story and Others, Our organization took a closer look at all the bullycides that were reported in the USA since 2009.

We found the following stories online:


In 2012 we found 31 instances of bullycide among kids and teens, 6 of which were openly gay. 


In 2011 we found 43 instances of bullycide among kids and teens, also 6 of which were openly gay/ 3 were labeled gay.


In 2010 we found 40 instances of bullycide among kids and teens, 8 of which were openly gay/ 2 were labeled gay.


In 2009 we only found 5 stories pertaining to bullycide among kids and teens, 1 of which was openly gay/ 1 who was labeled gay.

America needs to wake up before it’s too late! Bullying isn’t Gay, shouldn’t be gay, and needs to be Stopped in Every Realm!

Great stars like Ellen DeGeneres have paved the way for those coming out and choosing openly gay lifestyles! I’m not gay or lesbian—but I do love Ellen!

Everyone in the world needs to see the fact that we are all different, yet we are all the same.

Our Anti-Bullying CHANGE workshops are geared to bring Change & Equality to all people and stop abuse, bullying and violence.

In one of our demonstrations: I give a few kids, teens, and adults (whoever is present in our workshops) various pieces of change, all totaling a dollar. I explain that it all looks different, but yet is entirely equal, of the same value, and can be spent the same. That’s how human beings are, we’re all different (race, gender, sexuality, color, etc), yet each of us has the same value and worth! Each of us wants the same thing, to be loved and accepted for who we are.

We challenge everyone to have a CHANGE OF HEART and decide not to be victims, bystanders, and bullies. We encourage them to make a change, and be survivors, so they can be the change for others to see. Our ultimate goal is to CHANGE HEARTS & SAVE LIVES in memory of our son, Brian, who lived and died forgiving his bullies. After he died we found a CHANGE jar he’d been saving… Read More Here

Written by: Lisa Freeman @ www.abusebites.com, who’s daughter, Melissa, is openly a lesbian. However, before Melissa made that decision, kids teased her relentlessly saying she looked like a boy and called her gay. Everyone in Freeman’s family was abused or bullied (even their dogs!), and have not only survived, but healed. Lisa shares their inspirational stories of abuse, bullying and survival abroad!

Founder & CEO Abuse Bites, Healing Projects Specialist Bully Police USA, Lifelong Abuse Survivor & Advocate, Award-Winning Author & Speaker, Certified Pet Therapist & Dog Trainer

More Stories About LGBT

One Gay Teens Survival Story

Bullying Works—article on anti-LGBTQ

ACCEPT or EXCEPT Gays & Lesbians & Those who are Different

ACCEPTANCE

Some people are confused today about what bullying is. BULLYING can be as simple as not accepting someone, or excluding them from your little group, or making a verbal comment about their choice of lifestyle, moral or religious beliefs.

I will tell you I am a Christian, but I love and accept all people of various religions, race, creed, and sexual orientation. I may not agree with all their views, but I respect and love them. The only people we can change is us.

The Bible tells us in Mathew 7:5 that we are hypocrites when we are looking at the speck in someone else’s eye, without first removing the PLANK in our own.

My daughter has chosen to live in a lesbian relationship. Do I agree with her decision, not fully, but I do accept her decision and love her no matter what.

That’s how God is, he loves us so much that he gave each of us a free will and choice.

So as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, by loving and accepting all people, of all walks of life, and be the CHANGE that others need to see.

I’m an educator in the public schools as well. Acceptance and Differences are a couple of my favorite topics of discussion. With smaller children we use four very different looking puppets to display how different they are, but also to point out that underneath, just like us they are exactly the same—they’re puppets. For older children we play a dollar game. Each of seven kids are given various bills and coins that total a dollar. They all look very different, but they all equal the same, and have the same value just like us!

We are all different, yet very much the same.

We all want to feel accepted, valued and loved for who we are, not for how we look or the choices we make.

Matt’s Safe School Law just passed in Michigan. They finally accepted the law Kevin Epling and his wife Tammy have been working on for years in regard to their son Matt who committed suicide in relation to bullying. However, when the bill past, our legislature put a twist on that bill, that states anyone can still bully for moral or religious views. This is something that we as educators SHOULD NOT accept!

I hope you will stand with us and be the change that others need to see. Not only do we present workshops in schools, work places, and communities, but our goal is to leave each community better than when we came, and equipped with the tools they need to be the change. Safer Schools. Safer Families. Safer Communities.

Contact us today! I would love to speak with you about bringing our program to your community!

Lisa Freeman, CEO Abuse Bites

Healing Projects Specialist, Bully Police USA

Award Winning Author & Speaker

Certified Pet Therapist & Dog Trainer

Http://www.abusebites.com  Email: abusebites@gmail.com