Put An End to Abuse & Suffering

Lately I've been so attacked. I'm just getting my life together after the loss of my precious son, Brian, my father, and my sister, Sue, who lost her battle with cancer just before Christmas.

It's hard losing those that we love.

My son passed away from heart complications, my father due to COPD, and my sister due to cancer. Although it was hard to let them spread their wings toward heaven. It was equally hard to watch them suffer day after day.

Sadly, suffering is part of life.

But there is a type of suffering that we can do something about, and even prevent. Abuse. A five letter word that is so misunderstood. Abuse, bullying, violence, are all forms of power and control. Some think it's love. And this is how someone acts when they love you.

Love is not Abuse. Love is not bullying. Love is not violence.

The Bible gives a really clear picture of what love is in I Corinthians 13:4-8

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
⁸ Love never fails. 

If each of us walked in this true definition of love, there would be no abuse, bullying or violence. Can you imagine if we all "loved" others the way God wants us to? WOW! I can!

That gets me excited! I hope it gets you pumped up too. Because together we can put an end to abuse and suffering, by loving the abuse, bullying and violence out of this world!

Fixing A Broken Child--Starts With You!

Children come in all shapes, sizes, colors, gifts, talents, and personalities. They come to us in little packages of perfection, so tiny, so precious, so fragile, we wrap a huge blanket of protection around them their first few years.

At least that’s what we hope a good mother and father will do.

Broken kids, with broken bones and broken lives, are hard to fix. We can’t just take a shaken baby to the hospital and expect it to be alright. Once the baby is broken, the damage has already been done. Many times the destruction is irreversible.

Kids can be broken in a number of ways, physically, sexually, and psychologically. But when a child is murdered—it’s a break that no one can fix!

The Department of Children and Families Officials say that while the number of child abuse cases have remained stable, the number of extreme cases is on the rise.

One teenage mom facing jail time, admitted she burnt her baby’s genitals with a straightening iron. The baby also had several broken bones. Read Story A 20 year old mother who killed her infant son, took the corpse shopping with her the next day. Read Story  A Grandmother and Stepmother are being tried in the death of a 9-year-old Alabama girl for forcing her to run for hours, without fluids. Police say the girl was ordered to run for 3 hours as punishment for lying to her grandmother. Read Story  Another mother who was being tried in the death of her 2 year old son, was given a suspended sentence, and smirked on her way out of the courtroom. Read Story

The tragic stories seem to spread all over the U.S.A. like wild fire. Many cases even involve the mother’s boyfriend. In one recent case, Gavin Sola, 22, of West Melbourne, is facing first-degree murder charges for the death of his girlfriend’s infant son. Read More This is just one of many horrific cases that are making headlines each day. A Pennsylvania mother went out of town, leaving her 27 year old boyfriend to take care of her three children. The youngest child, an 18 month old left in his care, suffered a broken leg and later died. Read Story  A 30 year old Raleigh man abused his girlfriend’s 19 month old daughter. The toddler suffered lacerated liver and bruised kidneys. She also had blood in her stomach, cuts on her lip, and bruises on her head. He also tried to set the place on fire. Read Story

These are tragic stories for sure. However, there are a variety of ways to discipline children without abuse. Parents can give their kids a time out, put them in their bedroom, take their favorite toy away, or even offer rewards such as a special snack or to watch a favorite movie for good behavior.

Sadly, this particular doctor thought that waterboarding was a good way of showing discipline to his 9 year old daughter. Waterboarding is where you hold a child’s head under a sink of running water, allowing it to go up their nose and in their mouth. Thankfully, the good doctor, and his wife (who watched this take place four different times over a two year period) are being charged with reckless endangerment and conspiracy. Both of their children have been removed from their home and placed in protective custody. Read Story

Other parents from a Russian Muslim Cult are being charged after taking their children into captivity for more than ten years. Living underground in unheated cells, many of these children age 1-17 have never seen light of day. Read Story

These articles show us that parents and adults are the one’s who need fixing. These precious children have been betrayed and broken by everyone and anyone they trusted. It seems anyone can have and own a baby—but to purchase a house, car, or to take out any kind of loan, a mound of paperwork and a background check is required first. Then, and only then, if you meet the required qualifications, can you be trusted to pay back such a huge debt. 

Tragically, these children are paying their parents debts with their very lives!

What if, as adults, we made sure our lives were in order and could pay the debt of being responsible parents before ever bringing a child into the world? What if we, as responsible parents, checked the backgrounds of those we entrusted to our children’s care and made them go through a mound of paperwork before leaving our children with them? Imagine how many kids would still be here today, unbroken, healthy, and thriving, planning their futures!

LET’S BREAK THE CYCLE OF CHILD ABUSE – GET THE FIX YOU NEED TODAY…

Abuse Bites works to give kids, teens, and parents the fix they need by offering awareness on abuse, bully, and violence safety, prevention and healing methods for all victims, bystanders, and abusers/bullies as well as family members. Our goal is to CHANGE HEARTS & SAVE LIVES! More Information on Abuse Bites Here.  

Written by: Lisa Freeman, Lifelong Abuse Survivor & Advocate for Child Abuse, CEO of Abuse Bites, Healing Projects Specialist for Bully Police USA, Award-Winning Author & Speaker from Michigan, Certified Pet Therapist & Dog Trainer More About Lisa Freeman

More Stories/Links On Child Abuse:

DreamcatchersForAbusedChildren

Ear piercing for babies: Is it child abuse?

Ex-Army major, wife get 10-yr jail for child abuse

South Carolina: Maggots found in baby’s diaper say cops

Toddler may be blind after mother’s felon boyfriend beat him

Parents Kill 17 Year Old Daughter There's No 'Honour' in Child Abuse

Serious Charges Dropped for Anger Management in Child Abuse Case

Ochelata man charged with child abuse after allegedly hitting 12-year-old

Iesha Paris and Darryl Hunter busted for child abuse after son shot in face

Tulsa woman arrested for child abuse after toddler hospitalized with skull fracture

Don't Bury Your Child's Dreams

Even though my son, Brian, had a rare heart condition and Asperger's Syndrome. I never dreamed the day would come when he would die. He was so healthy at the end, although on the heart transplant list for five years, I was certain he'd outlive me and his father.

Losing a child is sad. But losing a child who has suffered so much physically and mentally due to being bullied is another terrible tragedy. He lived and died forgiving his bullies. He was working in our program "Abuse Bites" right up to the end to educate others to stop bullying, abuse, and violence. His lifelong dream and goal had been to travel around the USA with us in an RV to take this important message to others.

It's only been a month since he passed away.

As I sat on the couch missing him and reading his obituary last night, I reread this touching poem on the inside: A Time will come when my life will cease, But when that time comes, I ask that you will remember these things:

*Bury my body, but don't bury my beliefs.

*Bury my heart but don't bury my love. 

*Bury my eyes, but not my vision. 

*Bury my feet, but not the path of my life. 

*Bury my hands but don't bury my diligent efforts. 

*Bury my shoulders but not the concern I carried. 

*Bury my voice, but not my message. 

*Bury my mind, but don't bury my dreams. 

*Bury me, but don't bury my life. 

*If you must bury something, let it be my faults and my weaknesses, But let my life continue in you!

In my son, Brian's honor, his beliefs, love, vision, path, efforts, concern he carried for others, his message and life, will continue on through us to go out on that mission he always wanted to. Please help us in our efforts (see CHANGE for BRIAN) to go on this mission. We will have to quit our jobs, we will need to raise enough money for an RV, and to feed us and our dogs and supply the gas to travel. 

Brian—He Lived and Died Forgiving His Bullies

 In Memory of my son, Brian, 22, who died forgiving his bullies

Brian was many times misunderstood by his peers, adults, and even his teachers.

Born with Asperger's Syndrome, he had his own unique way of communicating. He had to touch, smell, and taste everything around him. I remember when he was really little going into Meijer's shopping and he closed his eyes and ran his hands through rows of clothes on either side and then came to grips with a woman's pregnant belly and began feeling that too. Thankfully the lady just laughed it off and saw Brian for who he was a very unique and explorative child.

Instead of reading children's books, Brian read the dictionary and Bible mostly. The morning of his passing he read the first chapter in Ruth. So intelligent, there wasn't much he didn't know. People thought he was weird or wasn't paying attention most of the time, even his teachers complained, but he always knew what was going on, and even more. He saw the world through God's eyes.

Although he was bullied by others since his feet first hit the ground, he loved who he was, learned to forgive them, and focused on helping others who were hurting. 

Due to a congenital heart defect and only two chambers in his heart, Doctors said Brian wouldn't live to be a year old. Yet with prayer, love, and faith we watched him overcome every obstacle in his way. But Brian was the one with the most amazing faith. One that is rare to find. Because every time he faced surgery, couldn't breathe, or nearly died, he looked at me and said, "Mom just pray."

No matter how sick he was, how bad he hurt, or what he had to go through, he rarely complained. When I'd ask, "How you feeling Brian?" he'd reply with "I'm good!" and stick his thumb in the air with a bright smile.

It didn't take much to cheer him up. Mostly he was the one doing the cheering! Born with a great sense of humor, he always had the ability to make everyone, especially nurses and doctors laugh. A practical joker of sorts, he was always pulling a fast one on someone. He loved to poke fun at new techs, nurses, and doctors.


He loved many things in life. The Lord Jesus was top on that list. He'd given his life to the Lord at a very young age and seldom wavered. Next would be his family and dogs. He loved Snickers, Baby Ruth, and Wanakiya. They loved him just as much. The day before Brian passed, Baby Ruth would not leave his side. And any time he had to be away from home in the hospital, a visit from therapy dogs always made his day. When he was home and well, he enjoyed going on pet therapy visits to cheer others up.

Brian also loved to cook, and was one of the best. The morning he went home to be with the Lord, the house smelled so yummy it took me away from my computer. I knew he was up and asked what he was making. He said, "The usual." It was one of his delicious hamburgers. He cooked steaks, potatoes, and made some mean macaroni and cheese. And he brought me breakfast many times to my computer. But his all time church favorite is when he would cook hotdogs on the grill for all the players, family, and friends.

Brian loved to serve others, help others, and heal others. It didn't take any persuading for him to jump on board when there was a mission to accomplish. He helped the family teach pet therapy, he helped in parades and other events, and kept the dogs under control during Take A Bite Out Of Abuse presentations. He was passionate about stopping bullying, abuse, and violence and helping others so they wouldn't hurt like he had. That is why when the kids found a jar of his change that he'd been saving and brought it to me, God immediately gave me the idea of using the slogan be the CHANGE FOR BRIAN to raise money to stop abuse, bullying and violence in our country.

He was great with the little money he had and always tithed, bought pizza for everyone, and always managed to save some too.

He wanted a job more than anything. Each summer since the age of 13 he worked in the Baker College Summer Youth program. He worked in the kitchen at the hospital, cleaned the schools and grounds in Corunna, and even worked at Oak Hill Cemetery. Nothing he did was easy for him. He'd underwent several heart surgeries and near death experiences from 13 on. He was even placed on the heart transplant list after receiving a mechanical aortic valve and pacemaker at 16. Yet, he persevered, and graduated with honors from Owosso High School in 2007.

As soon as he graduated he put applications in everywhere. But with his underlying conditions and our tough economy, he never got a paying job. But he worked. He worked harder than most young men his age who are healthy. Any time the family was planning an event, he was right beside them every step of the way, packaging candy for a parade, toting boxes, packing the van, you name it, he did it.

If you never got to know Brian, you missed out. He was one of the few people that are real in the world. He never judged, never had a bad word to say about anyone, and always thought positively. Even the many times he faced death, he'd say, "Mom don't worry, I'm not afraid to die. I know where I'm going."

I know where Brian is today, in heaven in the arms of Jesus. I do mourn for our great loss, but not for him, because I know he's happy, healthier than he's ever been, and totally free, but mostly I mourn for those who have never accepted Jesus and are still bitter and unforgiving of their bullies.

It's time we make a CHANGE in our lives, a CHANGE in our communities, have a CHANGE of heart and be the CHANGE for Brian to stop abuse, bullying and violence  http://www.takeabiteoutofabuse.com/change.html.