Fixing A Broken Child--Starts With You!

Children come in all shapes, sizes, colors, gifts, talents, and personalities. They come to us in little packages of perfection, so tiny, so precious, so fragile, we wrap a huge blanket of protection around them their first few years.

At least that’s what we hope a good mother and father will do.

Broken kids, with broken bones and broken lives, are hard to fix. We can’t just take a shaken baby to the hospital and expect it to be alright. Once the baby is broken, the damage has already been done. Many times the destruction is irreversible.

Kids can be broken in a number of ways, physically, sexually, and psychologically. But when a child is murdered—it’s a break that no one can fix!

The Department of Children and Families Officials say that while the number of child abuse cases have remained stable, the number of extreme cases is on the rise.

One teenage mom facing jail time, admitted she burnt her baby’s genitals with a straightening iron. The baby also had several broken bones. Read Story A 20 year old mother who killed her infant son, took the corpse shopping with her the next day. Read Story  A Grandmother and Stepmother are being tried in the death of a 9-year-old Alabama girl for forcing her to run for hours, without fluids. Police say the girl was ordered to run for 3 hours as punishment for lying to her grandmother. Read Story  Another mother who was being tried in the death of her 2 year old son, was given a suspended sentence, and smirked on her way out of the courtroom. Read Story

The tragic stories seem to spread all over the U.S.A. like wild fire. Many cases even involve the mother’s boyfriend. In one recent case, Gavin Sola, 22, of West Melbourne, is facing first-degree murder charges for the death of his girlfriend’s infant son. Read More This is just one of many horrific cases that are making headlines each day. A Pennsylvania mother went out of town, leaving her 27 year old boyfriend to take care of her three children. The youngest child, an 18 month old left in his care, suffered a broken leg and later died. Read Story  A 30 year old Raleigh man abused his girlfriend’s 19 month old daughter. The toddler suffered lacerated liver and bruised kidneys. She also had blood in her stomach, cuts on her lip, and bruises on her head. He also tried to set the place on fire. Read Story

These are tragic stories for sure. However, there are a variety of ways to discipline children without abuse. Parents can give their kids a time out, put them in their bedroom, take their favorite toy away, or even offer rewards such as a special snack or to watch a favorite movie for good behavior.

Sadly, this particular doctor thought that waterboarding was a good way of showing discipline to his 9 year old daughter. Waterboarding is where you hold a child’s head under a sink of running water, allowing it to go up their nose and in their mouth. Thankfully, the good doctor, and his wife (who watched this take place four different times over a two year period) are being charged with reckless endangerment and conspiracy. Both of their children have been removed from their home and placed in protective custody. Read Story

Other parents from a Russian Muslim Cult are being charged after taking their children into captivity for more than ten years. Living underground in unheated cells, many of these children age 1-17 have never seen light of day. Read Story

These articles show us that parents and adults are the one’s who need fixing. These precious children have been betrayed and broken by everyone and anyone they trusted. It seems anyone can have and own a baby—but to purchase a house, car, or to take out any kind of loan, a mound of paperwork and a background check is required first. Then, and only then, if you meet the required qualifications, can you be trusted to pay back such a huge debt. 

Tragically, these children are paying their parents debts with their very lives!

What if, as adults, we made sure our lives were in order and could pay the debt of being responsible parents before ever bringing a child into the world? What if we, as responsible parents, checked the backgrounds of those we entrusted to our children’s care and made them go through a mound of paperwork before leaving our children with them? Imagine how many kids would still be here today, unbroken, healthy, and thriving, planning their futures!

LET’S BREAK THE CYCLE OF CHILD ABUSE – GET THE FIX YOU NEED TODAY…

Abuse Bites works to give kids, teens, and parents the fix they need by offering awareness on abuse, bully, and violence safety, prevention and healing methods for all victims, bystanders, and abusers/bullies as well as family members. Our goal is to CHANGE HEARTS & SAVE LIVES! More Information on Abuse Bites Here.  

Written by: Lisa Freeman, Lifelong Abuse Survivor & Advocate for Child Abuse, CEO of Abuse Bites, Healing Projects Specialist for Bully Police USA, Award-Winning Author & Speaker from Michigan, Certified Pet Therapist & Dog Trainer More About Lisa Freeman

More Stories/Links On Child Abuse:

DreamcatchersForAbusedChildren

Ear piercing for babies: Is it child abuse?

Ex-Army major, wife get 10-yr jail for child abuse

South Carolina: Maggots found in baby’s diaper say cops

Toddler may be blind after mother’s felon boyfriend beat him

Parents Kill 17 Year Old Daughter There's No 'Honour' in Child Abuse

Serious Charges Dropped for Anger Management in Child Abuse Case

Ochelata man charged with child abuse after allegedly hitting 12-year-old

Iesha Paris and Darryl Hunter busted for child abuse after son shot in face

Tulsa woman arrested for child abuse after toddler hospitalized with skull fracture

Special Kids Have Special Hearts

Changing Hearts & Saving Lives--

In Loving Memory of my precious son, Brian

Admittedly, having four children of varying disabilities wasn’t easy. Raising them turned out to be an even greater task. However, I wouldn’t have changed a single day of it for any other child in the world!

Robert, my eldest seemed perfect from the day he was born. He ate well and slept even better. Twelve hours straight through the night at three weeks old. Who knew parenting could be this easy! His motor skills seemed fine; he grabbed things, rolled over, and even began crawling at around 8 months old. Developmentally, though he showed signs of struggle. Since he was still only crawling at a year and a half old, I became concerned, wondering if he’d ever walk. But by the age of two, and just the time our second child, Melissa was born, he was walking fine.

Melissa was a handful from the get-go! Obviously nothing was wrong with her development. She was into literally everything and expected me to catch her when she dove off the couch or jumped from the top of the stairs. Tragically I didn’t always get there in time. And it didn’t matter how many child safe gates I put in place, she could get past any barricade.

Soon after Melissa turned a year old, we had another beautiful baby boy, Brian. 

Brian was way different than the other two. He cried a lot, acted starving, but would fall asleep as soon as he began suckling at my breast. There were other weird symptoms that left me unsettled too. He coughed, sneezed, and breathed funny. I must have called the hospital every day, only to be assured that everything he was doing was normal. Still my motherly intuition would not be convinced.

Finally at three weeks old, I took him to see a pediatrician. I’m so glad I did! We were only in the room mere minutes when she detected his life threatening condition. “You need to take him up to ER right away for blood tests and x-rays,” Dr. VanVloten said. “He has a hole in his heart. It can be a small one, with an underlying infection making it sound bigger. Or it could be a very large hole. I won’t know until these tests are done.”

So many disturbing thoughts raced through my mind as we hurried to the hospital. I’d only heard of one other baby having a hole in their heart and that child was given a baboons heart and didn’t live long. Oh, God please no!

Thankfully Brian didn’t have infection along with the huge hole in his heart. His condition was life threatening enough on its own. He was transferred to Ingham Medical Center in Lansing where they diagnosed him with Tricuspid Atresia and Transposition of the Great Artery, which meant he only had two chambers in his heart, with a single functioning ventricle, and that the good blood and bad blood were mixing together and flooding his lungs.

In his first two months of life, he had two surgeries, one open heart to put a banding in pulmonary artery to restrict blood flow in the lungs, and the second to enlarge the aorta so that moderate blood flow could reach his lower extremities. Even then, doctors weren’t sure if Brian would live to see his first birthday.

Life was just a little crazy! On top of Brian’s special dietary needs and medical needs to keep him stable and thriving, we learned Robert had A.D.D. and Melissa had dyslexia and severe emotional impairments.

Three special needs children all under the age of three. Honestly, it was a little stressing to say the least. But we got to watch from the sidelines as each of our children climbed through each obstacle and hurdle in their path to accomplish what teachers, nurses and doctors said they never would.

Melissa couldn’t read, but she fooled us, because she memorized all of her favorite books. So I didn’t know about her true dyslexic issues until she was much older. And Robert was held back twice in first grade because he couldn’t write all the letters of the alphabet. One teacher even embarrassed him and called him dumb in front of the whole class. Back then there wasn’t much done about bullying, so we dealt with it the best we could.

As time went on I had baby number four! 

Jeremiah came into the world sweeter than pie. But after falling out of a cart at Walmart and hitting his forehead on a curb stop, he had a severe head injury, and battled extreme psychological conditions. At the age of three, he was brutally attacking our older children. By the age of five he was getting kicked out of school for hurting others. He was diagnosed with everything from A.D.H.D. and O.C.D to O.D.D. and Bi-Polar. A psychiatrist evaluated him weekly and wrote prescriptions to treat everything from bed wetting to mood swings and sleep disorders.

Jeremiah was only getting worse, and he even chased our kids through the house with a knife. We continued fasting, praying and doing everything humanly possible to make him better. Finally when he was eight years old, he was healed, after a couple came and spoke at our church and laid hands on him for healing. Within days he was off all the medications and did amazingly well. The principle even called to say what a difference he’d seen in him.

While we were taking Jeremiah for therapy, we learned that Brian had Asperger’s Syndrome, which is a rare form of autism, something that was hardly heard of twenty-four years ago when he was born. This made Brian even more different. I loved that difference though. He was much more aware of things I took for granted. His sense of touch, smell, and sound were amplified.

I can remember taking Brian into Meijer’s with me when he was about three or four (before we knew he had Asperger’s Syndrome) and he spread his arms like an airplane and began touching all the clothes hanging up. Then he suddenly stopped when he got to a very large pregnant woman and began outlining her belly with his hands. Thankfully she smiled. Still a little embarrassed, I apologized and tried to explain to Brian that he needed to be more careful what he touched.

No matter how many warnings I gave him, Brian was his own person. His sensory skills were over functioning. So he touched everything, even our new flat top range when the burner was red hot. Thankfully he wasn’t burned badly. He also loved to smell things, especially foods, and began cooking thanks to his father’s culinary skills. He would make finger and hand motions along with swishing sounds like airplanes whizzing through the air. His ears were very sensitive and disliked loud noises. His eyes were drawn to every dictionary, Bible, and Discovery Channel ever made. I was baffled by all the knowledge he often shared.

Yet, because my children were gifted with what I call amazing special abilities, they were often sought out by others and made targets for bullying or to be left out and not included. I somewhat understood the school bullying, but when it even happened at church after church, I was disheartened.

Sadly, my kids (nor I) had many friends growing up. Still we had each other. I didn’t focus on what they couldn’t do, but always told them they could do anything they set their minds to. The only limits we have are the limits we put on ourselves.

Even though there were some major challenges, all four of my children graduated from high school—even Brian—with honors!

Brian amazed me the most. When he was bullied severely in school I was so upset and wanted to let them have it. But Brian had a change of heart, and instead of taking revenge on his bullies, he loved and forgave them. He wanted the bullying to stop, and to help victims, bystanders, and even bullies to change. He knew they could change with the right help, and realized very young, that bullying is simply a behavior, not who a person is.

Brian was on the heart transplant list for five years, yet he wanted to travel with our Abuse Bites Program and go all over the USA to take this healing message of hope to others. He often said, “Mom, you can’t go without me. Besides, the doctors aren’t going to give me a heart anyway, God is, and I want to help others.”

Just as we were getting ready to go on this mission, Brian passed away. Soon after we found a change jar he’d been saving. It was then that we knew we were to collect change, so we could go all over like Brian wanted, to change hearts and save lives.

Having a child, like Brian, literally changed my heart and saved my life. I am so much different and better because of him (and all of my children). Looking through his eyes, I’m able to be totally loving, accepting and understanding of every single person out there, even the seemingly unlovable ones, those we often refer to as “bullies”.

Written by:

Lisa Freeman, Founder & CEO of Abuse Bites (a non-profit organization to stop abuse, bullying and violence), Lifelong Abuse Survivor & Advocate, Healing Projects Specialist for Bully Police USA, Award-Winning Author & Speaker, Certified Pet Therapist & Dog Trainer

Website: http://www.abusebites.com / We offer healing workshops to stop abuse, bullying and violence—bringing CHANGE to all in memory of Brian.

Abuse Bites Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/abusebites

Lisa Freeman’s Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/lisa.a.freeman

Struggling With Bullying Issues?

Are you struggling with bullying issues in your home, school, or community?

Have you tried various anti-bullying workshops and strategies, but still don't seem to be getting anywhere with students or parents?

Why don't you let us help!

*We're Experienced: We are all abuse survivors who have been both the bully and bullied throughout life. We've shared our workshops in various schools, churches, and work places all over Michigan.

*We're Educated & Endorsed: We founded Abuse Bites Corp. from the ground up in 2005 (put together workshops for pre-school, children, teens and even adults), currently we work as the Healing Projects Specialist for the Bully Police USA, and host a blog talk radio show "Bullying Matters" for Dreamcatchers for Abused Children.

*We're Empathetic: We understand all sides of bullying and teach others empathy, something's that lacking these days in homes, schools, and communities.

*We're Enthusiastic & Empowering: We're passionate about this anti-bullying message and empower and motivate others to Be The CHANGE they want to see in others. Our mission is to CHANGE HEARTS & SAVE LIVES in memory of our son, Brian, who passed away last year. He was bullied all his life. He lived and died forgiving his bullies.

*We're Effective: We offer healing workshops for all those who are affected by bullying and abuse: (victims, bystanders, the ones with bully behaviors as well as their families, and even staff). Many wounded hurting people are walking around. They are like time bombs waiting to go off. If their feelings and emotions aren't properly dealt with we might witness the next Columbine or worse. Hurt people, hurt people. Healed people, heal people.

*We're NOT Expensive: We're a 501 (c) 3 non-profit organization that is passionate about the cause, not a paycheck! We know schools are struggling. We know everyone is struggling. That is why we are willing to work within the means of any reasonable budget. We are currently trying to raise funds for gas so we can offer low-income schools and communities FREE WORKSHOPS.

Too many times, people are simply putting a band aid on bullying. They offer help for the victim or target while putting the bully (those demonstrating bullying behaviors) in anger management classes. Bullying is not about anger; it's about power and control. And it's time the schools, we as parents, and entire communities realize this and take back the control from those with bullying behaviors, so we can have more time to focus on what's really important--education and empowering our young people and families to strive toward a better, safer future.

We'd love to send you more information, outlines of our workshops, or we'd even be willing to come to a meeting and share our program with your teachers and principals if you'd like. So please let us know how we can help you and your staff bring healing to your community! Thank you for your time. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Lisa Freeman, CEO Abuse Bites

Healing Projects Specialist, Bully Police USA

Email Us @ abusebites@gmail.com

Visite Us @ http://www.abusebites.com