Don't Buy The Lie

Seems like since I was a little girl, I was being fed one lie after another.

It started with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, but then more harmful dangerous lies came into play.

My brothers older friends, neighborhood boys/men, and even some of my friends from school did unspeakable acts I was sworn not to tell. “It will be our little secret,” they’d say. I wanted to tell my mom, but I was too ashamed and I was scared. I thought she’d probably blame me anyway. And many of my abusers had threatened me. What if their threats were true?

So I bought the lie. The lie that I had to stay in abusive relationships. The lie that no one would ever want me. The lie that no one would love me. The lie that I would have to settle for whoever came along.

All my life I bought the lie of abuse. 

My alcoholic husband dropped to his knees and wept over my battered body, “I’m sorry. I promise if you stay I’ll never hurt you again.”

Sadly, I bought the lie again and again until he almost killed me. And even after I left him, I still kept buying the lies of abuse.

My 2^nd husband, who went to church faithfully, swore a million times that he’d never look at pornography or cheat on me on me again. 

I bought the lie time and time again and stayed with him for seven painful years until I learned he sexually abused our three children. That's when I began seeking the truth, and the truth set me free!

Don’t buy the lie! Don’t settle for abuse! 

I know it's hard to break free. I didn’t even start getting my life together until the age of 26. I hadn’t even finished high school, let alone junior high. I had dropped out in the 7th grade. Yet, a single mother of three, I went back to school, got my GED, went onto college, maintained a 4.0, and made the Dean’s List. Later, after battling severe panic attacks and agoraphobia, I graduated from Vision International with a degree in Christian Ministry, became an Award-Winning Christian Author, Certified Pet Therapist/Dog Trainer, and started two non-profit organizations A Time To Heal and Abuse Bites to break the cycle of abuse and help others heal.

Abuse is a choice. You can be a victim or you can be a survivor. I was a victim far too long. Today I’m a survivor, because I stopped buying the lie. I pray that you do too! You deserve better. It's the truth that sets us free!

If you or someone you know is stuck in the cycle of abuse and needs help please call 9-1-1 or the national domestic abuse hotline @ 1-800-799-SAFE. You may also contact me. I’d love to help in any way I can.

We offer workshops to educate, prevent, and bring awareness on all types of abuse and bullying in the school, work place and community. We’d be honored to work with you to bring our program to your area! http://www.abusebites.com.

Why Wait? Make Money Now & Stop Abuse

Why do some businesses crash and burn while others sky rocket to the top and excel their sales quota every quarter? I believe it is actually based on various factors.

#1 Advertisement. Companies that excel Advertise. They use all their resources; websites, blogging, twitter, facebook, myspace, generating timely press releases, sending out flyers and business materials, etc.

#2 Stay Current. Companies that excel in the business world Stay Current. They keep up on current trends, changes, and what's happening in the world.

#3 Meet Needs. Companies that excel in today's economic crisis Meet Needs. They plug their products and marketing into the needs of the people as well as the needs in the business industry.

#4 Target Audience. Companies that excel in today's competitive world have a Target Audience.They target a certain people and business in broad spectrum and work on reaching them and meeting their needs.

#5 Create Something New. Companies that excel and advance Create Something New. They take an idea that has already been done and put a spin or a twist on it to create something new, exciting, and current. Everyone wants the new more updated version of everything. It's human nature.

#6 Show Don't Tell. Companies that excel have a unique way of Showing Instead of Telling. They use short well-written articles, graphs, pictures, charts, and important statistics to draw readership attention which then in turn generates business and traffic. Traffic equals sales. 

#7 Spend A Little, Get A Lot. Companies that excel invest in training and learning programs. With the little they spend to either get trained on how to write excellent blogs/articles or by choosing to hire a freelance writer, they save time and make even more money. Articles that use key words will draw traffic to your site, and traffic equals money for you or your business.

Why listen to me? I'm just an abused, runaway, 7th grade drop out, right? Actually, yes, I quit school in the 7th grade, I did runaway, I was horribly abused, went through two abusive marriages, nearly died many times, and my children were sexually assaulted by their biological father.

Yet at 26, a single mother of three I got my GED, went onto college, maintained a 4.0, made the Dean's List, graduated with an Associates Degree, landed my first publication in Guideposts for Teens Magazine (which is no beginning market), won the Writer of the Year Award (twice), had more than 500 articles/stories published in 35+ magazines, have five books on the market, teach writing at schools, conferences and online, founded two non-profits, helped more than 200 needy/abused families and pets, developed the curriculum for Abuse Bites our Anti-Bullying program (pre-K thru High School), became an Award-Winning Certified Pet Therapist & Dog Trainer, and now am the Healing Projects Specialist for the Bully Police USA.

I'm not bragging. I'm simply saying if I can accomplish all of that after not even graduating from high school, surely anyone or business owner can too. They just need the WRITE tools and the ability to never give up no matter how hard or long the journey becomes.

Writing is the most important thing to having a business. If you are a good writer, you can draw attention to and virtually sell anything. So I'm offering a four week online interactive writing workshop entitled "How To Get Published" for only $50 to help any individual/business owner who wants to take the initiative and really get their business off the ground. Writing Workshop

And the really great bonus is this: All of the money we take in will actually go to stop abuse, bullying and violence all over the USA in memory of our dear son, Brian, who passed away a few months ago. His Story

Forgive The Bullies

Forgive The Bullies

Is that even possible, to forgive our bullies?

Yes, it is.

My son, Brian had Asperger's Syndrome and a heart defect. I watched him get called names, be teased relentlessly, and come home after being beaten up on the bus just to say, "It's okay, Mom, they didn't mean it."

Even though they hadn't said they were sorry, Brian already forgave them.

His brothers teased him about his weight at home. It really upset him and he even cried sometimes. But when they apologized, what they did was already forgiven and forgotten and he was ready to hang out with them like nothing happened.

Forgiveness isn't for our bullies. It's for us. It's the key to our peace, our happiness, our health, and well being.

Doctors said Brian should have only lived to be 1 year old--he lived to be 22. Why? I believe it's because he learned how to forgive and be at peace and love others and himself.

He lived every day like it was his last, and taught us how to love, laugh, forgive, and press on no matter what obstacle got in our way. R.I.P. Brian 6/27/88 to 8/10/10.

Today, thanks to Brian, we can take that message to others and help them get free too, so they can enjoy their lives.More

In our heroes honor, Brian, we are trying to get 5,000 Likes on Abuse Bites facebook page by January 1st. Please click on the link and support us and tell all your friends and family. Soon we'll have a new look to our website too @ http://abusebites.com please bookmark the page and come back and check us out.

Also I'd like to hear who your hero is or about your struggle with bullying/ forgiveness. Please send an email to: abusebites@gmail.com and put HERO, BULLY or FORGIVENESS in the subject line.

Scared To Death

Scared To Death

·         Did you know...

• 160,000 children FEAR going to school EVERY DAY
• 30 % of all parents FEAR for THEIR child's SAFETY every day? 
• Every 30 minutes all over the world a child attempts suicide? 
• Even adults suffer from bullying on the job?
• A whopping 18.9 working days are lost each year due to workers being afraid to go to work?

·        

·           

It's true. We live in a world where kids, teens, and adults are literally scared to death. Most would rather die, than face another day at school, at work, or somewhere else being bullied. And who could blame them?

Our family/dogs have been called to go out of the comforts of our home, city, and state to educate others and help set them free. Normally I'm excited and jump at the chance to travel and go, especially when it involves helping others. I grew up on the streets years ago and really want to reach the hurting. But this week I had the opportunity to speak with a lady who moved here from Phoenix, Arizona. She explained that there were so many gangs there that nearly every day her husband left for work he was shot at, and that now, when her kids hear any popping sound, like fireworks, they jump and are afraid.

Hearing her story made me afraid. Gangs today are more violent than ever. Funny, earlier in the week before I met this woman I began doing research on gang activity. It didn't bother me to find that 40% of all gang members were teens and that there is gang activity in every city with a population of 250,000, because I live in a small town of Owosso, Michigan (population 15,713). No biggie. We don't have gangs here. I was gathering the research for our upcoming CHANGE Benefit and for future workshops. But after I spoke with this woman and reflected on the notes I had just taken, I woke up.

            SOME ALARMING STATS:

• There are approximately 24,500 gangs in the U.S. There were an estimated 750,000 gang members in 2000. The 2009 estimate is One Million gang members with 147,000 of them currently incarcerated.

• Of the 1 million gang members, about 40% are juveniles (under 18) and 60% are adults, or about 400,000 teenage gang members and 600,000 adult gang members.

• Between 90% to 94% of gang members are male. Between 6% to 10% are female.

• Every city in the U.S. with at least 250,000 people has gang activity. 86% of those with at least 100,000 people report gang activity

*59% of all homicides in 2001 in Los Angeles and 53% in Chicago were gang related, there was a total of 698 gang related homicides in there two cities combined where as 130 other cities with population of at least 100,000 with gang problems reported having a total of 637 homicides between them

REASONS MOST JOIN GANGS:

• Low income

• Learning disabilities and emotional disorders: 60% - 78% of Incarcerated gang members have emotional and learning disabilities. This is the percent found by states that test all delinquents for special needs

• School Failure and Truancy

• No involvement in positive activities outside of school

• Friends and peers who are delinquent

• Early involvement in petty theft and behavioral disorders in grade school

• Sexual abuse and victimization

• Family dysfunction

• Early drug use and sexual activity

• Emotional disorders

• Exposure to violence

Everything in life I've done afraid. 

I've battled panic attacks since I was a young girl. Every time I get up to speak in front of a crowd I'm nervous, but after about a minute or so, I get over it, and I'm able to deliver a message of hope to a people that are at their wits ends. I won't let fear hold me back from saving other people's lives. 

No matter how scary it looks out there, we will fight this war on ABUSE, BULLYING and VIOLENCE, but we are going to need your support, through prayer, donations, and word of mouth to help pave the way for us to speak as we travel around the country.

We need commitments from you: If you would like to read more about what we do, what we believe, and what we've done already log onto www.abusebites.com

 

*I Will Support Abuse Bites through Prayer—Email us @ abusebites@gmail.com and write "Prayer" in the Subject box/ send us a little note, introducing yourself, and we will get back to you regularly with a list of current prayer needs.

*I Will Support Abuse Bites through a Monthly Financial Commitment—Email us @ abusebites@gmail.com and write "Monthly Financial Commitment" in the subject line and let us know how much you'd like to pledge/give per month and how you'd like to pay and we'll get back to you on a variety of ways you can send in your monthly commitment.

*I will Support Abuse Bites by Raising Awareness In My Community & Setting Up an ABUSE BITES RALLY—Email us @ abusebites@gmail.com and write "Abuse Bites Rally" in the subject line and give us your information and what you'd like to see happen in your community and we'll set the date and work closely with you to plan it all out.

*I will Donate now and when I can in the future, because I believe in what your family is doing and that Abuse Bites and I want to help Stop Abuse, Bullying and Violence. We'd also like to hear from you

1$ in CHANGE to Stop Abuse, Bullying, & Violence

This benefit is being thrown for our family in honor/memory of our son, Brian who died in August.

I am asking everyone around the world, every city, state, country, and nation to donate/give $1 American Dollar to the cause so we can use your spare CHANGE to CHANGE the world & Stop Abuse, Bullying and Violence.

We will use this money to travel all over the USA/World to educate others on how to get safe from abuse, bullying and violence. Every penny is tax deductible. 

Our son Brian was bullied all his life. He lived and died forgiving his bullies. After he died we found a CHANGE jar he'd been saving. We knew right away we were supposed to collect CHANGE to be the CHANGE for him and others who are bullied. RIP Brian 6/27/88 to 8/10/10.

Our son Jeremiah was nearly bullied to death. Our son Robert was a cutter and had 2 nervous breakdowns due to abuse. Our daughter Melissa was nearly choked to death in school and labeled "gay" because she chose not to date and save herself for the right man.

Please consider taking the $1 CHANGE CHALLENGE TODAY and tell all your email buddies, FB friends, and Twitter followers. We need your support to STOP ABUSE, BULLYING & VIOLENCE. Can you give just $1? If not, give what you can, pass this on, pray for us and our mission, and leave it in God's hands.

You can donate online @ http://www.takeabiteoutofabuse.com/change.html. Or send check or money order payable to: A Time To Heal

CHANGE to STOP ABUSE
PO BOX 1582
Owosso, MI  48867

Thank you for partnering with us!

The Abuse Bites Team
www.abusebites.com

Wear Purple to Stop Abuse & Bullying

Today, I, along with millions of people all over the world, will wear purple in memory/honor of those that have recently lost their lives to bullying and bullycide.

More importantly I will wear the acceptance, love, and an open heart to all who are different from me and accept them just the way they are. Because truly we are all different, unique and wonderful individuals. And chances are, what I can't do, you can. So we literally need each other and one another's gifts and talents to make the world a beautiful place.

So even though these beautiful children/teens/ and even adults have died, their voices live on, screaming out for help and justice for those who are still being bullied, abused, and shunned today. What are you doing to help? Or do you simply walk on by so as not to get involved when you see someone hurting another?

Did you know that if you do nothing, you become part of the problem? It's time to step up and do something. Even if you just wear purple today, it's a start. Let's band together and do something.

It has been reported that 85% of all playground bullying no one does anything, 11% that help are peers, and only 4% are teachers. Come on people, wake up! This could be your child or someone you love next time. Let's do something!

Maybe you can't break up a fight, but you can find someone who can help them. Please don't stand idly by, or walk away any more. We need to stop abuse, bullying and violence wherever we see it.

If you don't stand up for something, you'll fall for anything.

My entire family/dogs have been bullied and abused in some form. So we are fighting back to end the war on bullying. We work feverishly to educate kids, teens, parents, educators, workers, and whole communities on bullying, abuse, and violence and how to stay safe. Please support our cause through prayer, donations, or have us come to your community with our "Abuse Bites" breakout sessions, so you can have the power to break free from abusive behaviors and lifestyles too!

www.abusebites.com

Fun, Interactive Anti-Bullying & Pet Therapy Workshops for the whole family!

Email us today @ abusebites@gmail.com

Education Key to Stop Bullycide & All Forms of Bullying

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Yet in the last few weeks across the nation there have been at least twelve bullycide victims. Bullycide is the result of someone being bullied to the point of taking their own life.

The latest bullycide report was in Boston, Massachusetts, where a 10-year-old girl was found hanging by a scarf in a closet. "This is heart wrenching," says Lisa Freeman, who founded the anti-bullying program, Take A Bite Out Of Abuse. "Things like this don't have to happen."

Freeman believes with proper education, kids, teens, parents, and teachers will have the tools they need to take the proper action for prevention in the future. "Accidental suicides happen all the time," she says. "Kids today are playing dangerous games like the choking game."

This is just one of the many self-abuse topics Freeman discusses in her interactive workshops. "The choking game is where kids take an object such as a rope, scarf or tie and wrap it around their neck for a high feeling," she says. "Typically they are with someone else the first time they try it, so when they pass out, the friend is able to loosen the grip so they can breathe. However, when they try it alone, there's no one to release the grip and it ends up killing them."

It is Freeman's goal, as well as her whole family, to travel around the country to educate others on bullying and abuse. "I don't want another person to lose their life," she said. "I almost lost my son to bullycide two years ago."

Freeman's son, Jeremiah, was a sophomore then. He had been bullied all his life, was even threatened, and would have severe panic attacks when even thinking of going to school. "He wrapped a belt around his neck three times," she said. "Thankfully we knew the warning signs and got him the help he needed and now he's helping others."

A benefit has been set for the Freeman's in memory of their other son, Brian, who passed away in August. He had Asperger's Syndrome and a rare heart defect. He was bullied all this life. Yet, he lived and died forgiving his bullies. The EATS and BEATS for CHANGE to TAKE A BITE OUT OF ABUSE will take place on Sunday, November 7^th from 4-9 p.m @ Gi Gi's Banquet and Catering. The Mayor, Ben Frederick, will give an address. Limited seating is available. Advanced tickets are $10 per person/ $20 per family ($5 more at door). Mail check/MO to: The Freeman Family, PO Box 1582, Owosso, MI  48867. Get Tickets & info online @ www.abusebites.com.