Cyberbullying--Protecting Yourself & Kids

Have you/your child been a victim of cyberbullying? Have they gotten mean or threatening e-mail messages or facebook postings? Well, if so, apparently you're not alone.

According to i-Safe America, after doing a survey on bullying, with kids of varying ages all over the country, statistics for cyberbullying (bullying online) were higher than any other type of bullying. They found that 42% of kids had been bullied online, and 1 out of 4 were repeated offenders. A whopping 35 % had been threatened, and nearly 1 out of 5 had this happen more than once. 21% had received mean or threatening e-mail or other messages, and 58% admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online, where 4 out of 10 say it repeatedly happened.

On the flip side, 53% of the kids admitted to having said something mean or hurtful to another person. More than 1 out of 3 had done it more than once. And an astounding 58% did not tell their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened online.

Don't think even if it is a child at school that the school will handle it. Schools have been sued by cyberbullies and the bullies have won. However, a school may educate and inform you on how best to handle the situation for you and your child.

There are ways you can fight back. But first we must understand a few facts. There are 3 ways of cyberbullying:

1. Sending mean, hurtful or threatening messages via electronic communication (e-mail, IM, text, posts to social networking sites).

2. Pretending to be someone you're not in order to embarrass or harass a person. (Pretending to be someone you're not in order to gain access to personal information is not only cyberbullying, it's identity theft.

3. Posting pictures or video of another person in order to harass or embarrass that person.

Cyberbullying is actually more hurtful and unsafe than any other type of bullying because:

• The victim has no safe place! Most people who are bullied can go home to escape the abuse and bullying. But with cyberbullying the harassment always follows the victim through their cell phones and computers.
• The victim sees the messages over and over again! Victims of cyberbullying usually read the hurtful messages trying to figure out why they are being bullied. This repetitive confusion and self-doubt has a severe effect on the child.
• Cyberbullying is viral! Schoolyard bullying usually only involves a few individuals. With cyberbullying, the whole world is privy to the child's humiliation.

Different Types of Bullies:

• Control Bully: this person bullies to gain control--they believe that they can only have relationships and friendships if they control the other person.
• Victim--Now Bully: this happens a lot in cyberbullying--where the victim starts to bully the bully
• The Mean Bully: this person thinks that it's funny to put others down because they're making people laugh
• I Didn't Mean To Bully: this person doesn't really think of themselves as a bully. They usually act without thinking, and later when confronted will truly feel remorse, because they didn't mean to hurt anyone.

Although Bullies can be motivated by jealousy, they are primarily motivated strong dislike of others and power and control.

• Never think you can fix the bully
• You can't stop a bully from controlling others
• You can't make a bully like his/her victim
• You can't even ignore a bully
• The only thing you can do--is change you-- you can help yourself/child to understand why you're/they're being bullied, take back the control, and build up your/their self-esteem

Protecting Your Yourself & Your Kids

STOP: When you/your child sees a negative message, don't respond to it.
BLOCK: You/Your child should immediately block this person from sending any further messages.
REPORT: You/Your Child should print out any negative/bullying messages and tell someone right away. The sooner this is acted upon the sooner it will stop.

You Can Stop Cyberbullying--It's Your Choice

There are 4 People Who Play A Part In Cyberbullying:

1. The Bully--person directly involved, who's sending the messages
2. The Victim--person who is being bullied
3. The Bystander--person who knows about it but does nothing good or bad (so they are bullying by not getting help for the person)
4. The Advocate--person is who, although not directly involved, chooses to confront the bully about the situation and attempt to stop the bullying

The best way to stop cyberbullying is by educating yourself/your kids about these important things, and if you want to make sure you/your kids stay safe online is with remove it now @
http://www.removeitnow.com/Cyber-Bullying1.html

MTV has also created a new campaign "A Thin Line" to raise awareness about digital and text abuse. Read more http://www.care2.com/causes/womens-rights/blog/textual-harassment-and-digital-abuse-cell-phones-facebook-and-twitter-oh-my/

Resources from this article came from: http://www.momlogic.com/2010/04/how_to_really_talk_to_your_kids_about_cyberbullying.php