Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Fake Friends

What would you do for your friends? Lie? Steal? Cover up for them? Take the blame? Murder?

All any of us want in life is to be loved and accepted by someone. We don't always know when 'fake friends' are taking advantage of us or using us. So, many times, we'll do whatever it takes just to be included. I know I did.


I let my so-called friends talk me into everything; skipping school, smoking, drinking, drugs, stealing, running away, sleeping around, etc. That's crazy! I didn't want to do any of it, but because my 'friend' wanted me to, I did.



Last night I watched "The Bling Ring," about these teen wannabe's in Hollywood who used a new kid with a panic disorder to help them break into all the celebrities homes and steal their goods. At the end, when everyone was arrested, the boy that was lured into the whole thing said, "I didn't do it for the money. I did it because I had friends. I've never had friends. And I liked how I felt when I was with them--I was a different person."

Now they are all facing prison time!

(Photo above is the actual Bling Ring burglars!)
Sad!

Even sadder. Recently I spoke to two different mothers who have special needs boys, who just turned adults. Both boys share pretty much the same story. They had been lured by a young teen girl saying she was 18, and that she liked them, wanted to go with them, and wanted them to do sexual things with her and her friends. Of course, these boys, given their mentality (functioning at only a 10 year old's age level) jumped at the chance to have a real relationship with someone. The girls videotaped the event and have not only made these boys a laughingstock in the community, but now they are facing prison time as well!

Insane!

Even movies portray that you have to be a certain person or look a certain way to get the hot chicks!


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Too bad the movies have it all wrong. True love is not found in a person's looks or position they hold, or the abilities they have, NO it's found much deeper--in the heart!


I raised four children with varying disabilities. Between them they had dyslexia, learning disabilities, Asperger's Syndrome, emotional impairments, bi-polar, panic, schizophrenia, heart condition, ADD, ADHD, not to mention OCD and ODD. None of them had many real friends growing up. Many times they were lured into giving their money and prized possessions away. Even as adults, now, people still try to use them, but I've educated them to be on the look out about such friends.

Today people with disabilities are increasingly becoming victims of what is called "Mate Crime" where fake friends take advantage of, hurt, and sometimes even murder them. These fake friends show up when these individuals get their disability checks and finagle them out of their funds. Some have even moved into their homes and lived off them!



Worse yet, one innocent victim, Stephen Hoskin (below), a man from the UK with learning disabilities, was tortured to the point of death by his fake friends. Stephen was taken to a viaduct where he was forced to hang by his fingers from railings, then they stamped on his hands, which caused him to fall 100 ft to his death. Tragically 90% of mate crimes go unreported, due to those with disabilities keeping it a secret because they want friends and will do anything to keep them! (Read Full Story)




This story and others only prove that we must work even harder to educate our disabled children, our community, and those who could and should protect them! Together we can stop abuse, change hearts, and save lives!

By: Lisa Freeman, Author, Speaker, Abuse Advocate
Founder & CEO of Abuse Bites & A Time to Heal




Sunday, September 16, 2012

Anti-Bullying Rally in Flint

We held an Anti-Bullying Rally in Flint yesterday!

Rocking the Violence Out Of Flint was amazing!

Ryan LoRee from Team Revelation Gym put the event together. He had talked to some people out at Walmart when we were doing our fundraising event there and that's when he got in touch with us about speaking and doing our Abuse Bites presentation. Anything to team up with others to stop abuse, bullying and violence! 

Together we can do this!


Ryan (above) founded Team Revelation a non-profit judo/wrestling type place to give free instructions and mentoring to troubled kids and youth! Kudos Ryan!

Ryan's two beautiful little girls fell in love our Yorkie, Lover.

This little boy stopped to play with Lover.

This boy's little sister was afraid of dogs...


At first she even turned her head away and wouldn't look at him...



But then I actually got her to play with Lover!


Great Things Happened All Day! And we met some really amazing people!

The Judge William Crawford (right) and a Respite Volunteer from a local shelter.


A lady & her daughter are entering our Free Book Drawing! We donated a whole box of books so that everyone who entered could win!



Judge Crawford stayed longer than he intended just to do the special honor of signing Brian's Memory Quilt! It was a very emotional moment!

The man behind the judge is making a documentary about this event.

We played some fun interactive games!


These Kids Learned How to FIGHT BACK to Stop Bullying!

Then I had the privilege of sharing "The Change Of Heart Program" in memory of my precious son, Brian. And I could not believe the results! People were coming up to me, one by one, telling me what a difference my speech made in their lives. WOW!

This young man came up after and confessed he had been a bully until the 8th grade, but had since asked forgiveness from his victims. He also explained that he often spent the night at his cousins house when he was younger and they would bully him and his brother, so he thought he had to fight like them to be cool. I gave him a hug and thanked him for sharing.

Another young man had a shirt on that said "I love Haters" and he was so loving, but said to me, "I shouldn't have worn this shirt probably to something like this." I said, "I love your shirt, and I love Haters too! With people like you and I they will learn to be Lovers!" And he gave me a hug! He works with the Reach program to help troubled youth.

A woman came up and thanked me. She said her husband wasn't going to attend the event at all, but at the last minute changed his mind. Later he told her, "I think I was meant to here this lady speak, it really touched my heart." This man had been bullied and abused his entire life!

Several others thanked me as well and were really happy about what we're doing.

But the grand finale and best part is when Jeremiah sang, "We Are The Body" by Casting Crowns. It's the first time in quite awhile he's sang in front of a crowd. 







Just to think, a month ago Jeremiah nearly committed suicide, but God spared him and is using him once again to change hearts and save lives! This is one proud mamma, excited about taking this message forth!

Thanks Ryan Loree, Team Revelation, and The Bridge Church for allowing us this great opportunity to present at your 1st Rocking the Violence Out of Flint Benefit! May we do even more awesome things together next year!

Written by: Lisa Freeman, CEO of AbuseBites.com, offering healing anti-bullying workshops to schools, workplaces, and communities. More Info 


Sunday, September 9, 2012

3rd Annual CHANGE Benefit to Stop BULLYING A Success!

Fighting abuse, bullying and violence can be a very long, lonely road at times. Many times the advocate can still take the brunt of bullying to try to push through prejudice barriers and strongholds. This hasn't been an easy battle for me, but it has been rewarding to see the CHANGED HEARTS & SAVED LIVES!

Yesterday, we celebrated the Abuse Bites 3rd Annual CHANGE Benefit! Although not a lot of people came out, due to another awesome event in town being planned for the same day and time, it was a success!

Success can be measured in a variety of ways, not just how many people came to our event or how much money was raised. I was a 7th grade middle school drop out, abused runaway, who was kidnapped, beaten, raped, forced into human trafficking, and nearly killed many times. Later I suffered through two horrifically abusive marriages (one physical, the other sexual and psychological).

BUT, after all that, at the age of 26 God healed me, delivered me, restored me, and called me to be a warrior. That's the day I STARTED FIGHTING THIS WAR ON ABUSE, BULLYING AND VIOLENCE. I've overcome many obstacles in my path such as post traumatic stress syndrome, panic and agoraphobia. Then I went onto college, graduated with a degree in Christian Ministry, became an award winning author, certified pet therapist and dog trainer, founded two non-profits, raised over $20,000 for needy and abused people and pets, And I'm not finished yet!

Although these have been great successes, the biggest success is knowing that when we go into the schools and communities to do our CHANGE workshops, that more than 85% of the students and even adults stand and come forth, deciding to make a change in their own lives, and knowing they can be the CHANGE for others!

Abuse, Bullying and Violence is all about making a CHANGE in our own lives, to impact others. Won't you stand with us today and be that CHANGE?

Now a word of thanks to all the angels who helped bring this about!

 Special thanks goes out to our Volunteers like Ashley Thornton (below), who is so passionate to help, that even though she had a sprained ankle, she showed up and gave it her all! Thanks Ashley! We love and appreciate you!

Special Thanks to Thomas Dignan!
A great man of our community, Thomas Dignan, even found time in his busy schedule to come out and support us. Why? Because he's passionate about changing hearts and saving lives and stopping bullying!
Thank you Thom! You've got my vote!


Adults and kids alike received awesome prices thanks to our awesome sponsors. 
Thank you Bob Evans...

Thanks Plush Pup...


Our children guests thank DONNA'S REFLECTIONS...


Everyone loved the Prime Time Pizza & Bread!
and we thank GiGi's for the Drinks!


Of course we give special thanks to The 401 South Restaurant 
for their Delicious Cookies!



And kudos to the other great sponsors like Big John Steak & Onion, Maurices, Treasures, Jumbo's, Gilbert's True Value, Janelle's Family Restaurant, Mancinos, Crave Bakery, Wendy's, Burger King, Capitol Bowl, and Crave! 

and to the Glo Kids Team for the Carnival & Face Painting!

Together we are all CHANGING hearts and saving lives!