Thursday, November 8, 2007

Bullied To Death

Nearly a year ago, in SEVENTEEN Magazine,I read an intriguing article "Bullied To Death". As I read the horrific story of this fine young man, my heart gripped within me. Jeff Johnston, 15, was literally pushed over the edge by cyber bullying and felt SUICIDE was the only way out.

Jeff was a straight A student, who loved math, science, and animals. He even became a vegetarian in 7th grade and said, "I'll never eat anything with a face on it."

The start of his 7th grade year was jamming. He had a new girlfiriend, some friends, and seemed to be on the top of the world. However, a few days later, he came into his mother's science class in tears. "She broke up with me because she thinks I'm saying mean things about her."

The next day a boy who was in three of Jeff's classes began following him through the halls. "Faggot!" the kid called.

Jeff, totally in shock, just walked away. Later that day when he was trying to patch things up with his girlfriend, this kid showed up again, "Stalker!" he shouted.

Jeff had no idea why this kid was doing this, since the two barely knew each other. But it only got worse.

A few days later in class, this boy passed a note to all of Jeff's friends, telling them that Jeff was saying mean things about them. Even though Jeff told his friends none of it was true, they didn't believe him.

From there, he received threatening phone calls at home. That's when his mother decided to answer the phone. When she picked up a boy on the other end shouted, "Everyone hates your son!" and hung up. Although Jeff's mother went to the principal about this and the other incidents, nothing was ever done to stop this boy or his crude comments.

After a half a dozen similar phone calls, he began slamming Jeff online too. Jeff was playing a computer game that he had created one day and some boys hacked in on it. "Jeff's a faggot," one wrote. "And Jeff should die popped up."

He told his mom right then, "I'm going to kill myself if I have to go back to school." So his mother allowed him to stay home for a couple of weeks. When he went back to school, he felt ugly, overweight, and tried to hide his face. No matter how much he tried to hide, the abuse and threats only worsened.

On June 28, 2005, he sent an email to his friend Kaley who he had known since middle school. "I'm kind of depressed," he wrote. "Why? Haven't heard from y0u in awhile," she responded. "I've been in hiding," he replied. "What do you mean?" she asked. "Nothing," he said.

A few hours later, Jeff went to his room, made a noose from a strap on his book bag, put the strap around his neck and hung himself.

I share this story in many of my presentations, so kids will see just what bullying can do. I won't let Jeff or anyone else die in vain. He wasn't just another teenager. He was someone crying for help, and yet nobody came to his aid. But I believe there's hope--for those being bullied and for those who are bullies. I've been on both sides of the spectrum and now I'm fighting back to help kids, parents, and educators. Won't you help too?

What You Can Do:

-Contact Your Local School & Get Programs Like Ours In

-Understand That Bullies Aren't Just Mean Kids--Hurt People Hurt People--Bullies have probably been bullied themselves.

-Ask Your Kids If They're Being Bullied

-Know Your Kids & Their Friends

-Tell Your Child To Report Any & All Bullying/ Print Up Any Cyber Bullying

-Don't Take Matters Into Your Own Hands


FIGHT BACK BY:


-Learning All You Can About Bullying

-Reporting All Bullying To Your Principal or the Police

-Protecting Your Child & Let Them Know It's Not Their Fault & Support Them

-Understand They May Have Some Fear or Self-Esteem Issues

-Get Counseling For Them If Needed

-Using The Buddy System (have them team up with a friend so they're never alone)

-Develop A Safety Plan Of Where They Can Go For Help

-Getting Programs Like Ours Into Your Community/Schools