I was 13. He said he loved me. He said he'd protect me.
He had the perfect plan. "Let's run away together."
It sounded like a great idea. But I didn't see what was really happening. He wanted to control me. Have me all to himself.
First he attacked my friends. "They're just trying to break us up," he'd say. Or "they're a bad influence on you, I don't want you hanging around them anymore."
Then it was my family. My mom loved him. Actually more than she did me. She believed him, even when I was the one telling the truth. Still that wasn't enough for him. He made it so it looked like no one ever loved me but him.
So I followed after him hard. I hitchhiked when I was afraid we'd get picked up by another crazy lunatic and I'd be kidnapped and raped again. I wanted to go home. But he said, "If you go back, the courts will separate us for good and we'll never see each other again."
He did other horrible things. At only 14 he walked me into a bar, but this one was different. The girl on stage was taking her top off. I slapped him and ran outside. He ran after me. "What are you getting so mad about? I'm doing this for us. We need money."
It was then, he talked me into topless dancing. He promised, "You don't have to do it very long. Just until we get some money."
Weeks went by. Guys drooled over me. They touched me. Stalked me. It was such a gross feeling to overcome. But eventually I did.
But then he started drinking and he hit me. "I'm sorry," he said with tears in his eyes, caressing my badly bruised cheek. "I promise I'll never do it again. I don't want to be like my dad."
I didn't want him to be like his alcoholic, abusive father, either. And seeing the tears in his eyes and him down on his knees begging me to stay with him, I just knew in my heart he'd change.
You can only run so long before getting caught and having to go home. At 15, after spending two weeks locked up in a girl's home in Colorado, I was on my way back to Michigan. It had been the hardest 14 days of my life. In the two years we hitchhiked all over the US, we'd only been apart twice, once was when we were kidnapped and tied up, another time was when we went to jail in Florida for 10 days for being in a stolen truck.
He was all I thought about. I wondered where he was and if we'd ever see each other again. He'd told me if I ever went home that would be the end of us. I hoped his was wrong. I loved him with all my heart and wanted to be with him.
After a few weeks he made his way back to Michigan too. My parents even helped him. Things were looking up. He finished school and joined the Air Force. I returned to school. He was 1,000 miles away in Texas in boot camp. I hated school and being away from him. So I ran away again to be with him. This time alone.
When I finally got there, after being picked up by all kinds of crazy freaks, he didn't act like he wanted me there. He was drinking, getting high, and cheating behind my back. I found out about "the other girl" months later when we started our new lives at KI Sawyer AFB. We were engaged to be married at the time. The plan was to hide out with him until my 16th birthday, and then my parents would sign for me to get married.
But within one week after moving into our new trailer, he tried to force me to go to a party. "No, I'm not going to some party with her and other people I don't know!" That was the first and last time I stood up to him. Within minutes I was a bloody mess, picking myself up off the floor. He threatened me if I told anyone what happened he'd kill me, forced me to get cleaned up, put make up on, and get ready. Knowing he meant what he said, I did what he wanted.
And of course later, several hours later, he said he was sorry. I believed him. Enough to marry him six months later. But on our wedding night, he drank nearly a fifth of whiskey, was hanging all over other women and girls, and beat me worse than I'd ever been beaten.
Again, he apologized and promised he wouldn't drink so much and blamed it on the alcohol. This went on and on. I was fooling myself thinking I could change him or that he'd change on his own.
He never changed. Instead the beatings got worse and worse, until he nearly killed me. Luckily I escaped with my life. And if you're reading this, chances are you're trapped in the cycle of abuse too. But you're still alive. You can get out before it's too late and get help.
I stayed way too long. But thankfully I did get away. Some are not so fortunate.
I wrote a book "Run For Your Life" to share my story and how I got free. If you know a runaway teen, an abused/battered woman, someone in a dating violent relationship, please, please, please, please GET this book for them today and encourage them to get help before it's too late.
*HURRY FREE BOOK OFFER BELOW*
You can get "Run For Your Life" online today @ my website: http://www.runtolife.org. or send $14.95 plus $4.00 shipping and handling to: Lisa Freeman, Run For Your Life, PO Box 1582, Owosso, MI 48867. In fact I will send all 3 books in the series for the price of 1. Just mention this offer when ordering. Offer for a limited time only, so HURRY. Although I usually try to get books shipped the same day orders come in, please allow 2-4 weeks for delivery.
Warning Signs Of Being Trapped In The Cycle Of Abuse
-Your bf/gf/spouse doesn't want you to hang out with your friends/family
-Your bf/gf/spouse tries to isolate you
-Your bf/gf/spouse is controlling
-Your bf/gf/spouse is verbally abusive to you in private or around your friends
-Your bf/gf/spouse is physically abusive (hits, kicks, slaps, pushes, etc)
-Your bf/gf/spouse is sexually abusive (forces you to do acts you don't want to do, touches you)
-Your bf/gf/spouse is emotionally abusive (controls you, who you hang out with, where you go, what you do, or gives you the silent treatment, or manipulates you)
-Your bf/gf/spouse is jealous
-Your bf/gf/spouse forces you into doing things you don't want to do
-Your bf/gf/spouse threatens if you leave they'll hurt you or themselves
-Your bf/gf/spouse says they're sorry and never will do it again
So continues the cycle of abuse. If you are in a relationship and your bf/gf/spouse is doing even one of those things, tell someone, get help, make a plan of escape before it's too late. Chances are it will only get worse.
This is another current story of a woman trapped in abuse most of her life and how she escaped barely with her life, having to leave her poor children behind.
http://www.stabroeknews.com/2010/stories/06/13/after-eight-years-scarred-domestic-abuse-survivor-starts-over/
No comments:
Post a Comment