When Life Is Plain Hard

My life for years to many seemed like a Cinderella fairy tale. Over the years I've had many women tell me how envious they were of my life, some have even joined our organization for a short time to get an inside glimpse of all this supposed glamour life I live. I'm an award-winning published author, speaker, certified pet therapist/dog trainer, and even a pastor. WOW!

What they don't know, unless they walk a day in my shoes, is that God has ALWAYS called me to do HARD!

As a young girl I didn't feel loved or important in my middle class family, so I ran to all the wrong things (drugs, men, topless dancing, etc). I even married an abusive alcoholic. (My choice, not God's. Again, because I was looking for love in all the wrong places.)

At 17, I accepted Jesus as my Savior, about the time my 1st husband nearly killed me. Yes, I escaped with my life and the clothes on my back. And when I met husband #2 I felt this urgency in my heart not to marry him, but he treated me good, opened the doors for me, told me I was beautiful, and he wasn't beating me around, so I shrugged off that tugging at my heart, and went ahead and married him. After 7 years I not only found out he had cheated on me, and was addicted to pornography, but he had turned his addiction onto our three children. (Again, it was my choice to marry the guy, and I believe with all my heart God tried to stop me from entering this marriage.)

At 26, this single mom of three, 7th grade drop out, decided she was going back to school, went onto college, and maintained a 4.0 and made the Dean's list. Then she went on to become an award-winning author, certified pet therapist/dog trainer, and even a pastor.

But what not many people really know is all the rejection and betrayal I faced, from everyone I loved and trusted, in the world, and even in the church for years and years.

When my 2nd husband kidnapped my kids, no one helped me get them back even though he'd molested them. Most of my family had even sided with him and my church became silent. Still I fought, and fought hard, and did the unthinkable to get them back in my custody. I had to go back with him for a short time and then take them to a shelter one day. It was hard, but I got them.

When I felt led to write, and began writing, I wasn't published for five long years. Rejection letters filled my mail box. Sometimes I wondered if I was really supposed to write, but I kept on, and finally I got accepted in one of the best magazines--Guideposts, which states is not for beginners. My writing career skyrocketed after that!
When my book came out (years later), everyone in the church thought it was too DIRTY for their kids to read, because I was a runaway who got into lots of trouble. I was kidnapped, beaten, raped, and forced into dancing and prostitution. So I was too dirty for the church, but since I was a Christian the world didn't want me either.

I was hurt and I didn't know it then, and maybe I never knew it until recently, but God has called me to do HARD. God has called my kids to do HARD, and our family to do HARD.

All four of my children had terrible obstacles they had to overcome, aside from being molested, they all have special needs, they were all abused, bullied, and faced great challenges. My daughter was labeled gay and nearly choked to death in school, my eldest son was a cutter (due to the abuse from his bio father) and had two nervous breakdowns, my youngest boy, Jeremiah, was bullied so badly he nearly committed suicide--he also nearly died from having grand mall seizures that developed in his late teens, and my son, Brian, was bullied all his life because he had Asperger's Syndrome and a rare heart condition. He was in and out of the hospital dealing with critical life threatening illnesses his whole life, yet he gave and helped others, forgave the bullies, and lived life to the fullest. Brian passed away last August, after being on the heart transplant list for five years. Yet the day after we buried him we marched in a parade in his honor to stop abuse, bullying and violence, and we've spoken at various workshops, and are now into our 5th Annual Easter Giveaway to help needy and abused families.

The road for our family has not been easy, or even glamorous as some might think. NO, the truth is God has called us to do HARD! Most of the time I don't get any money to speak and I give my books away to those who need them. And the only money that comes into our organization is the money we raise or put there ourselves. So even when everyone has turned on us, when tragedy has hit us from all sides, and we've had to stand for days, months, and years, and felt totally alone, like total outcasts, I know that even though we didn't have physical people to be right with us and walk us through these dark valleys, God has always been there. He had our backs, even in the HARD.

I know we're not the only ones who have been called to do HARD. But I just want to encourage anyone out there who is, people may let you down a million/trillion times, but God will never fail you or forsake you. I know I can't do HARD without him-- or even Easy for that matter.

God is the glue that has held this mom, this marriage, this family, and this ministry together. Even though we're broken over and over again, we cling to the hope that one day, we will be with Him, and He will wipe every tear from our eyes. He never promised that it would be easy, but he did promise that even through the HARD, he'd be with us!

My heart cries out for the many families now who are poor and abused, who are doing HARD and need our help. We help these families throughout the year, but especially at Easter. Please check out our website and prayerfully consider a gift you can give. No gift is too small. Every penny helps fight poverty and abuse. I thank you in advance for giving the best gift you can! God bless each of you even in the HARD! www.abusebites.com (click on Easter link on right).

To Donate via mail, make checks/mo Payable to: Abuse Bites, Easter Giveaway, PO BOX 1582, Owosso, MI  48867. All donations are 100% tax deductible and go to help needy and abused families (including pets!)

Sincerely,

Lisa Freeman, CEO Abuse Bites

Abuse Is Not A Dream--It's a Nightmare

My dream is for every child, teen, woman, man, and animal that’s being abused to be rescued from their nightmare of terror and hell!

Here’s my story.


Growing up abusers lived all around me. Yet my parents had no idea. There were signs. Red flags everywhere.


Most 2 year olds don’t pull all their hair out, bang their head on a hardwood floor until they pass out, and wake up with night terrors every night. But like most parents, my mom and dad were busy. They both worked full time, and I’m sure they just thought it was a phase that I’d grow out of. And I guess in a way I did. My hair eventually grew back, and I guess I didn’t have any permanent brain damage from the head banging, but the night terrors held on like a curse.


Dirty hands were touching me, (boys, men, even girls and women) forcing me to do the unthinkable. I didn’t want to do those things. Really I didn’t. But if I didn’t do what they said, I knew they would hurt me more. So I tried to take my mind to a safe place and pretend it wasn’t happening.


I couldn’t decipher reality from my dreams anymore. At night, when I did finally fall asleep, I’d wake up in a cold sweat, unable to breathe. Panic stricken, feeling like I was being suffocated, I’d wake my mom. (At twelve years old I still slept with my mom or I couldn’t sleep, and even then I woke up at least once a night.)


“It was just a bad dream,” she’d say, “go back to sleep.”


My mom wasn’t a good listener. She worked hard eight hours a day in a nursing home scrubbing and waxing floors, the old fashioned way. Exhausted and looking for a quick fix, she thought drugs were the answer.


“Here, take these,” she said, giving me a couple pills. “The doctor said this will help you sleep.”


After taking the pills I was out cold. When I woke up it was dark and everyone was up. I was confused. Was it morning already? I found out it was the next night and everyone was getting ready for bed again. Now I was wide awake.


I had already missed a ton of school because I had mononucleosis every other week it seemed. Not that I minded. Being at home was better than being bullied and made fun of at school. So one night, instead of giving me the pills, when I woke up afraid, my mom actually sat up with me and read something in the Bible. I honestly don’t remember what it was, but I do remember I was able to sleep after that, better than I had with the pills and I woke up in time for school.


Finally I decided maybe if I acted tougher, kids would leave me alone. So although terrified, and begging that I would not see blood, I got into a fight with this boy who thought he was all that and I actually won. That day I became the class hero, everyone thought I was cool, and pretty much left me alone. Still the abuse in the hood continued. There was always a bigger bully moving in, and I was still terrified to fight back or tell.


My mom probably wouldn’t listen anyways. She always tended to blame things on me or call me a slut. All I wanted was her love, so I stayed still. Even when I went up the street to babysit and the woman’s husband came home early and made me do detestable things I said nothing.


He’d be buzzed out of his mind and put his hands and lips all over me. I can still taste the sour beer and cigarettes. YUCK! I begged him to stop, told him “NO!” and pushed him away, but he wouldn’t let me go until he finished. By that time it would be pitch black outside and no one would be awake when I got home. I locked the door and took a steaming hot shower, drowning in my own tears, fearing all the while he was going to break in and do it all over again.


I knew it was my fault though, because I kept going back up there, every time his wife called. Strange, but when she called, all I thought about was making money and doing her a favor so she could get away for awhile, not the abuse I’d suffer, or the fact that her husband could come home early. I wanted out, but there didn’t seem to be a way out, so I learned to just take myself to that safe place and keep quiet.


That’s why when I met my boyfriend at 13, and he said he loved me and would protect me, I thought my dreams had finally come true. It’s what I’d wanted all my life anyway—love—true love. Since he was four years older, and we went to different schools, we started cutting class to be together. Soon the courts got involved, put me on house arrest for truancy, and forbid us to see each other.


We sent love letters secretly through the mail. I’d watch through the living room window every night as he dropped a letter off and took the one I wrote for him. One day we agreed to meet on the back road.
“Let’s just run away,” he said staring into my eyes. “We can hitchhike and leave town right now.”


I was scared and excited at the same time. It sounded like the perfect plan. Now no one could stop us from being together.


Our dream of being together, turned out to be another one of my nightmares. Not only was I more abused out there (kidnapped, beaten, raped, forced into dancing and prostitution) and wanted to come home numerous times, but he turned on me too and began drinking and beating me. He said he was sorry, with real tears in his eyes, swore he’d never do it again, and sadly I believed him. I thought his jealousy meant that he loved me. WRONG!


That’s why I wrote my book “Run For Your Life” based on my true story of dating violence, not so I can get rich and famous, but so I can reach out to others who may be in dangerous relationships, to show them that they don’t have to put up with it, and that they need to get out before it’s too late. I almost didn’t make it out alive. In fact he nearly killed me.


Abuse is a nightmare! My dream is to save other people lives. Please help me by passing this story on, ordering the book for you or a friend, or donate into this organization so we can give books to those who need them! www.runtolife.org

Don't Buy The Lie

Seems like since I was a little girl, I was being fed one lie after another.

It started with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, but then more harmful dangerous lies came into play.

My brothers older friends, neighborhood boys/men, and even some of my friends from school did unspeakable acts I was sworn not to tell. “It will be our little secret,” they’d say. I wanted to tell my mom, but I was too ashamed and I was scared. I thought she’d probably blame me anyway. And many of my abusers had threatened me. What if their threats were true?

So I bought the lie. The lie that I had to stay in abusive relationships. The lie that no one would ever want me. The lie that no one would love me. The lie that I would have to settle for whoever came along.

All my life I bought the lie of abuse. 

My alcoholic husband dropped to his knees and wept over my battered body, “I’m sorry. I promise if you stay I’ll never hurt you again.”

Sadly, I bought the lie again and again until he almost killed me. And even after I left him, I still kept buying the lies of abuse.

My 2^nd husband, who went to church faithfully, swore a million times that he’d never look at pornography or cheat on me on me again. 

I bought the lie time and time again and stayed with him for seven painful years until I learned he sexually abused our three children. That's when I began seeking the truth, and the truth set me free!

Don’t buy the lie! Don’t settle for abuse! 

I know it's hard to break free. I didn’t even start getting my life together until the age of 26. I hadn’t even finished high school, let alone junior high. I had dropped out in the 7th grade. Yet, a single mother of three, I went back to school, got my GED, went onto college, maintained a 4.0, and made the Dean’s List. Later, after battling severe panic attacks and agoraphobia, I graduated from Vision International with a degree in Christian Ministry, became an Award-Winning Christian Author, Certified Pet Therapist/Dog Trainer, and started two non-profit organizations A Time To Heal and Abuse Bites to break the cycle of abuse and help others heal.

Abuse is a choice. You can be a victim or you can be a survivor. I was a victim far too long. Today I’m a survivor, because I stopped buying the lie. I pray that you do too! You deserve better. It's the truth that sets us free!

If you or someone you know is stuck in the cycle of abuse and needs help please call 9-1-1 or the national domestic abuse hotline @ 1-800-799-SAFE. You may also contact me. I’d love to help in any way I can.

We offer workshops to educate, prevent, and bring awareness on all types of abuse and bullying in the school, work place and community. We’d be honored to work with you to bring our program to your area! http://www.abusebites.com.

Why Wait? Make Money Now & Stop Abuse

Why do some businesses crash and burn while others sky rocket to the top and excel their sales quota every quarter? I believe it is actually based on various factors.

#1 Advertisement. Companies that excel Advertise. They use all their resources; websites, blogging, twitter, facebook, myspace, generating timely press releases, sending out flyers and business materials, etc.

#2 Stay Current. Companies that excel in the business world Stay Current. They keep up on current trends, changes, and what's happening in the world.

#3 Meet Needs. Companies that excel in today's economic crisis Meet Needs. They plug their products and marketing into the needs of the people as well as the needs in the business industry.

#4 Target Audience. Companies that excel in today's competitive world have a Target Audience.They target a certain people and business in broad spectrum and work on reaching them and meeting their needs.

#5 Create Something New. Companies that excel and advance Create Something New. They take an idea that has already been done and put a spin or a twist on it to create something new, exciting, and current. Everyone wants the new more updated version of everything. It's human nature.

#6 Show Don't Tell. Companies that excel have a unique way of Showing Instead of Telling. They use short well-written articles, graphs, pictures, charts, and important statistics to draw readership attention which then in turn generates business and traffic. Traffic equals sales. 

#7 Spend A Little, Get A Lot. Companies that excel invest in training and learning programs. With the little they spend to either get trained on how to write excellent blogs/articles or by choosing to hire a freelance writer, they save time and make even more money. Articles that use key words will draw traffic to your site, and traffic equals money for you or your business.

Why listen to me? I'm just an abused, runaway, 7th grade drop out, right? Actually, yes, I quit school in the 7th grade, I did runaway, I was horribly abused, went through two abusive marriages, nearly died many times, and my children were sexually assaulted by their biological father.

Yet at 26, a single mother of three I got my GED, went onto college, maintained a 4.0, made the Dean's List, graduated with an Associates Degree, landed my first publication in Guideposts for Teens Magazine (which is no beginning market), won the Writer of the Year Award (twice), had more than 500 articles/stories published in 35+ magazines, have five books on the market, teach writing at schools, conferences and online, founded two non-profits, helped more than 200 needy/abused families and pets, developed the curriculum for Abuse Bites our Anti-Bullying program (pre-K thru High School), became an Award-Winning Certified Pet Therapist & Dog Trainer, and now am the Healing Projects Specialist for the Bully Police USA.

I'm not bragging. I'm simply saying if I can accomplish all of that after not even graduating from high school, surely anyone or business owner can too. They just need the WRITE tools and the ability to never give up no matter how hard or long the journey becomes.

Writing is the most important thing to having a business. If you are a good writer, you can draw attention to and virtually sell anything. So I'm offering a four week online interactive writing workshop entitled "How To Get Published" for only $50 to help any individual/business owner who wants to take the initiative and really get their business off the ground. Writing Workshop

And the really great bonus is this: All of the money we take in will actually go to stop abuse, bullying and violence all over the USA in memory of our dear son, Brian, who passed away a few months ago. His Story

Forgive The Bullies

Forgive The Bullies

Is that even possible, to forgive our bullies?

Yes, it is.

My son, Brian had Asperger's Syndrome and a heart defect. I watched him get called names, be teased relentlessly, and come home after being beaten up on the bus just to say, "It's okay, Mom, they didn't mean it."

Even though they hadn't said they were sorry, Brian already forgave them.

His brothers teased him about his weight at home. It really upset him and he even cried sometimes. But when they apologized, what they did was already forgiven and forgotten and he was ready to hang out with them like nothing happened.

Forgiveness isn't for our bullies. It's for us. It's the key to our peace, our happiness, our health, and well being.

Doctors said Brian should have only lived to be 1 year old--he lived to be 22. Why? I believe it's because he learned how to forgive and be at peace and love others and himself.

He lived every day like it was his last, and taught us how to love, laugh, forgive, and press on no matter what obstacle got in our way. R.I.P. Brian 6/27/88 to 8/10/10.

Today, thanks to Brian, we can take that message to others and help them get free too, so they can enjoy their lives.More

In our heroes honor, Brian, we are trying to get 5,000 Likes on Abuse Bites facebook page by January 1st. Please click on the link and support us and tell all your friends and family. Soon we'll have a new look to our website too @ http://abusebites.com please bookmark the page and come back and check us out.

Also I'd like to hear who your hero is or about your struggle with bullying/ forgiveness. Please send an email to: abusebites@gmail.com and put HERO, BULLY or FORGIVENESS in the subject line.

Scared To Death

Scared To Death

·         Did you know...

• 160,000 children FEAR going to school EVERY DAY
• 30 % of all parents FEAR for THEIR child's SAFETY every day? 
• Every 30 minutes all over the world a child attempts suicide? 
• Even adults suffer from bullying on the job?
• A whopping 18.9 working days are lost each year due to workers being afraid to go to work?

·        

·           

It's true. We live in a world where kids, teens, and adults are literally scared to death. Most would rather die, than face another day at school, at work, or somewhere else being bullied. And who could blame them?

Our family/dogs have been called to go out of the comforts of our home, city, and state to educate others and help set them free. Normally I'm excited and jump at the chance to travel and go, especially when it involves helping others. I grew up on the streets years ago and really want to reach the hurting. But this week I had the opportunity to speak with a lady who moved here from Phoenix, Arizona. She explained that there were so many gangs there that nearly every day her husband left for work he was shot at, and that now, when her kids hear any popping sound, like fireworks, they jump and are afraid.

Hearing her story made me afraid. Gangs today are more violent than ever. Funny, earlier in the week before I met this woman I began doing research on gang activity. It didn't bother me to find that 40% of all gang members were teens and that there is gang activity in every city with a population of 250,000, because I live in a small town of Owosso, Michigan (population 15,713). No biggie. We don't have gangs here. I was gathering the research for our upcoming CHANGE Benefit and for future workshops. But after I spoke with this woman and reflected on the notes I had just taken, I woke up.

            SOME ALARMING STATS:

• There are approximately 24,500 gangs in the U.S. There were an estimated 750,000 gang members in 2000. The 2009 estimate is One Million gang members with 147,000 of them currently incarcerated.

• Of the 1 million gang members, about 40% are juveniles (under 18) and 60% are adults, or about 400,000 teenage gang members and 600,000 adult gang members.

• Between 90% to 94% of gang members are male. Between 6% to 10% are female.

• Every city in the U.S. with at least 250,000 people has gang activity. 86% of those with at least 100,000 people report gang activity

*59% of all homicides in 2001 in Los Angeles and 53% in Chicago were gang related, there was a total of 698 gang related homicides in there two cities combined where as 130 other cities with population of at least 100,000 with gang problems reported having a total of 637 homicides between them

REASONS MOST JOIN GANGS:

• Low income

• Learning disabilities and emotional disorders: 60% - 78% of Incarcerated gang members have emotional and learning disabilities. This is the percent found by states that test all delinquents for special needs

• School Failure and Truancy

• No involvement in positive activities outside of school

• Friends and peers who are delinquent

• Early involvement in petty theft and behavioral disorders in grade school

• Sexual abuse and victimization

• Family dysfunction

• Early drug use and sexual activity

• Emotional disorders

• Exposure to violence

Everything in life I've done afraid. 

I've battled panic attacks since I was a young girl. Every time I get up to speak in front of a crowd I'm nervous, but after about a minute or so, I get over it, and I'm able to deliver a message of hope to a people that are at their wits ends. I won't let fear hold me back from saving other people's lives. 

No matter how scary it looks out there, we will fight this war on ABUSE, BULLYING and VIOLENCE, but we are going to need your support, through prayer, donations, and word of mouth to help pave the way for us to speak as we travel around the country.

We need commitments from you: If you would like to read more about what we do, what we believe, and what we've done already log onto www.abusebites.com

 

*I Will Support Abuse Bites through Prayer—Email us @ abusebites@gmail.com and write "Prayer" in the Subject box/ send us a little note, introducing yourself, and we will get back to you regularly with a list of current prayer needs.

*I Will Support Abuse Bites through a Monthly Financial Commitment—Email us @ abusebites@gmail.com and write "Monthly Financial Commitment" in the subject line and let us know how much you'd like to pledge/give per month and how you'd like to pay and we'll get back to you on a variety of ways you can send in your monthly commitment.

*I will Support Abuse Bites by Raising Awareness In My Community & Setting Up an ABUSE BITES RALLY—Email us @ abusebites@gmail.com and write "Abuse Bites Rally" in the subject line and give us your information and what you'd like to see happen in your community and we'll set the date and work closely with you to plan it all out.

*I will Donate now and when I can in the future, because I believe in what your family is doing and that Abuse Bites and I want to help Stop Abuse, Bullying and Violence. We'd also like to hear from you

1$ in CHANGE to Stop Abuse, Bullying, & Violence

This benefit is being thrown for our family in honor/memory of our son, Brian who died in August.

I am asking everyone around the world, every city, state, country, and nation to donate/give $1 American Dollar to the cause so we can use your spare CHANGE to CHANGE the world & Stop Abuse, Bullying and Violence.

We will use this money to travel all over the USA/World to educate others on how to get safe from abuse, bullying and violence. Every penny is tax deductible. 

Our son Brian was bullied all his life. He lived and died forgiving his bullies. After he died we found a CHANGE jar he'd been saving. We knew right away we were supposed to collect CHANGE to be the CHANGE for him and others who are bullied. RIP Brian 6/27/88 to 8/10/10.

Our son Jeremiah was nearly bullied to death. Our son Robert was a cutter and had 2 nervous breakdowns due to abuse. Our daughter Melissa was nearly choked to death in school and labeled "gay" because she chose not to date and save herself for the right man.

Please consider taking the $1 CHANGE CHALLENGE TODAY and tell all your email buddies, FB friends, and Twitter followers. We need your support to STOP ABUSE, BULLYING & VIOLENCE. Can you give just $1? If not, give what you can, pass this on, pray for us and our mission, and leave it in God's hands.

You can donate online @ http://www.takeabiteoutofabuse.com/change.html. Or send check or money order payable to: A Time To Heal

CHANGE to STOP ABUSE
PO BOX 1582
Owosso, MI  48867

Thank you for partnering with us!

The Abuse Bites Team
www.abusebites.com