If you have to drink or do drugs, do yourself and other drivers a favor and don't drive.
I used to party hard, everything from beer and mixed drinks to pot and drugs. And although I didn't drive when I was messed up, I rode around with people who were. I guess you could say, I was one of the lucky ones, because I was never in an accident.
Kim wasn't so lucky.
Kim Cook, was just 14, had just battled cancer and won the fight. She wasn't on drugs, drinking, or even in a car. She was simply walking through a yard with a couple of friends when a drunk driver came barreling off the highway and into her path.
The only thing Kim had time to do was push her friends out of the way. She was like that, you know. She always wanted to serve in the Army. That day she took the front lines.
But it was a senseless war for such a young girl to fight, especially if we continue to let others like Kim and her family suffer in vain.
Maybe you're not the drunk driver, maybe you don't even do drugs, but maybe you know of someone who does. If you don't stop them from driving when they're messed up on alcohol and drugs, you could be causing another innocent life, like Kim's, to be snatched away forever.
So, why not join together with us and save lives this holiday season.
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO PREVENT ANOTHER DRUNK/DRUGGED DRIVING TRAGEDY:
-Offer to drive the messed up person home or ask someone else to
-Hide their keys
-Call a cab for them
-If they're really messed up and out of hand call 9-1-1 (Even though you don't want your friend to spend the night in jail, one night is better than a lifetime of regrets--besides you're not only saving their lives, you're saving other innocent victims!)
Remember, to think before your drink and drive.
Check out our website for more information @ http://www.abusebites.com/
And have a safe and happy holiday season!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Homeless Not Hopeless
In Honor Of National Homeless Awareness Month
With such trying times in the US, the crashing economy, and bullying & abuse at every avenue--there are probably more homeless people than many of us know.
I've been homeless at various times. Once by choice, as a teen when I ran away with an older boyfriend. For two years we hitchhiked all over the US with nothing but the clothes on our backs. I was starving, frozen, beaten, raped, kidnapped, and nearly killed. The only thing that saved me every time, was prayer and faith in God to set me free.
Later in life I was married to an abusive man who turned his porn addiction onto our three children. I was forced to leave my home, with just a suitcase and three small children. For over a month we stayed at a "safe house shelter" for victims of abuse.
Staying at shelters isn't easy. I totally agree. But it's better than putting you or yourself in harms way. It's totally better than being homeless. It's a roof over your head, a meal in your stomach, and a chance to sort things out while you decide what is best for you/ and or your children.
After two terribly abusive marriages, I got my life back together. I suffered years of panic attacks and fears, but have managed to become an award-winning author and speaker.
If I can do it, you can too. Today, I'm an abuse survivor. You don't have to be a victim, you can survive too. If you need help or to get out of an abusive situation, please get help. You can either log onto my website http://www.abusebites.com/ or call 1-800-799-SAFE.
Most Shelters Provide:
-A SAFE PLACE TO STAY
-Beds for you & your child
-Dresser for your clothes
-Food
-Clothes
-Baby Needs
-Hygiene Products
-Support & Counseling
-Assistance With Child Care
*So don't hesitate. If you're in an abusive situation GET OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
With such trying times in the US, the crashing economy, and bullying & abuse at every avenue--there are probably more homeless people than many of us know.
I've been homeless at various times. Once by choice, as a teen when I ran away with an older boyfriend. For two years we hitchhiked all over the US with nothing but the clothes on our backs. I was starving, frozen, beaten, raped, kidnapped, and nearly killed. The only thing that saved me every time, was prayer and faith in God to set me free.
Later in life I was married to an abusive man who turned his porn addiction onto our three children. I was forced to leave my home, with just a suitcase and three small children. For over a month we stayed at a "safe house shelter" for victims of abuse.
Staying at shelters isn't easy. I totally agree. But it's better than putting you or yourself in harms way. It's totally better than being homeless. It's a roof over your head, a meal in your stomach, and a chance to sort things out while you decide what is best for you/ and or your children.
After two terribly abusive marriages, I got my life back together. I suffered years of panic attacks and fears, but have managed to become an award-winning author and speaker.
If I can do it, you can too. Today, I'm an abuse survivor. You don't have to be a victim, you can survive too. If you need help or to get out of an abusive situation, please get help. You can either log onto my website http://www.abusebites.com/ or call 1-800-799-SAFE.
Most Shelters Provide:
-A SAFE PLACE TO STAY
-Beds for you & your child
-Dresser for your clothes
-Food
-Clothes
-Baby Needs
-Hygiene Products
-Support & Counseling
-Assistance With Child Care
*So don't hesitate. If you're in an abusive situation GET OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Is Sorry Really The Hardest Word?
There was a song when I was growing up titled, "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word". And I guess some people do find it hard to say they're sorry. But in a domestic violent situation, victims are always apologized to and promised that things will get better.
That's the abuse cycle. Sadly hundreds of thousands of girls, women, and even men, fall prey to this vicious cycle every year. Some abuse victims may be fortunate enough to escape if they get out early, others may have stayed a little longer and faced more pain and heartache, but my heart really cries to speak out for those who never had a chance to escape--the martyrs of domestic abuse--these are the ones have given their lives for the rest of us to learn a harsh lesson--GET OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
I lived with a man who nearly killed me. Thankfully I was able to escape from that relationship before it was too late. But I know someone who waited a bit too long to get out of an abusive relationship. Her name is Susan Crim. Susan's truly my hero! So in honor of Domestic Abuse Violence Awareness Month, I wrote a story about her on my website: (Read Her Story click on the "what's new" link.)
Don't wait until this happens to you--Get Out Before It's Too Late!
What you can do if you're in an abusive relationship:
-Report The Abuse
-Get Help & Make A Safety Action Plan Of Escape
-Contact a friend or family member
-Call 1-800-GET SAFE
-Don't return to the abusive situation once you get away
-Don't fall into the repetitive cycle of them saying their sorry
-Take care of yourself and change your lifestyle so you won't be a magnet for abusers in the future--counseling will help
-Forgiving your abuser is a must (holding unforgiveness only makes the victim feel worse), but that does not mean taking them back or putting up with more abuse!
That's the abuse cycle. Sadly hundreds of thousands of girls, women, and even men, fall prey to this vicious cycle every year. Some abuse victims may be fortunate enough to escape if they get out early, others may have stayed a little longer and faced more pain and heartache, but my heart really cries to speak out for those who never had a chance to escape--the martyrs of domestic abuse--these are the ones have given their lives for the rest of us to learn a harsh lesson--GET OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
I lived with a man who nearly killed me. Thankfully I was able to escape from that relationship before it was too late. But I know someone who waited a bit too long to get out of an abusive relationship. Her name is Susan Crim. Susan's truly my hero! So in honor of Domestic Abuse Violence Awareness Month, I wrote a story about her on my website: (Read Her Story click on the "what's new" link.)
Don't wait until this happens to you--Get Out Before It's Too Late!
What you can do if you're in an abusive relationship:
-Report The Abuse
-Get Help & Make A Safety Action Plan Of Escape
-Contact a friend or family member
-Call 1-800-GET SAFE
-Don't return to the abusive situation once you get away
-Don't fall into the repetitive cycle of them saying their sorry
-Take care of yourself and change your lifestyle so you won't be a magnet for abusers in the future--counseling will help
-Forgiving your abuser is a must (holding unforgiveness only makes the victim feel worse), but that does not mean taking them back or putting up with more abuse!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Bullying & Back To School--Who Decides?
Jeremiah, my youngest son, now a junior in high school, surprised me a few weeks ago. "Mom, I want to try to go back to school."
The courage rendered in his voice, along with the positive changes I'd seen in the past six months, made tears come to my eyes. He'd come so far. Could he really go back and rise above the peer pressure, bullying, and verbal abuse? I swallowed hard, trying to hold back my emotion.
"Really?"
"Yeah, I'd like to try."
The past year of torment he suffered--we suffered, flashed before my eyes. I rationed... But he is 16, I have to let him make his own decision. My heart raged... No, not again!
As Jeremiah went out to shoot hoops I sat in silence, pondering all the things that had happened over the past year. It all began on the first day of school, when a couple kids started calling him names.
Within minutes, Jeremiah got really sick, his face turned gray, he was all sweaty, and couldn't breath. We later learned at the hospital that he had suffered a full blown panic attack. Since I'd battled panic too, I completely understood how scary having an episode can be, especially when you don't know what's happening. Still we tried to encourage him that he needed to go back to school to overcome this thing.
But every day as the bullying increased, so did his level of anxiety. We called for an emergency IEP meeting at school, and brainstormed with all the professionals.
The doctors, social workers and therapists all tried to come up with a solution to keep him in school. Nothing they suggested alleviated the stress or the deep depression that would soon follow. We wanted him schooled at home from the beginning, because the pressure was just too much. But all the professionals told us that the best thing for Jeremiah and his panic disorder was that he stay in school. In a way I knew they were right--to overcome panic you can't keep yourself isolated, but at the same time, he would need to feel safe and be in a safe place, without being bullied, while healing.
So, under a doctors care, Jeremiah started taking prescribed medication for anxiety. They even tweaked his schedule so he'd only have to go half days. We were hopeful with the new meds and schedule everything would get better, but little did we know our son was on a downward spiral.
Not only did the bullying and verbal abuse at school continue and intensify to the point that his life was threatened, but he started cutting and became suicidal. (I later learned that he had wrapped a belt around his neck 3 times!) He was crying out for help, yet none of us were listening to pain he suffered in silence, behind closed doors.
Thankfully, one night he opened up to me. When I found out everything he was going through, I was heartbroken, devastated, and had no idea what to do. Here we sat helplessly, with our totally despondent tearful son in the padded room at Emergency searching for answers. He had so much depression and shame he wouldn't even look the doctor in the eye as he answered questions.
I shook my head in disbelief. How did we get here? It didn't seem real. With all the medical professionals, the whole school board, and two parents who loved their child more than anything, how could this possibly happen? I felt we had failed Jeremiah and everyone around us had failed him too. I was an abuse advocate traveling to all these schools, teaching kids how to get out of abuse, and here I sat dumbfounded.
But I wasn't giving up, and thankfully neither was Jeremiah.
In November I told the school, doctors, and social workers I'd had enough. "Jeremiah is going to be home schooled and that is final." By this point, no one was arguing. Still, the only way his counselor would allow it is if Jeremiah did not isolate himself. So over the next several months, we made an effort to get Jeremiah out into the public with peers his own age. Jeremiah fought panic, bullying, and abuse everywhere he went, but he overcame every obstacle in his way!
It has been a very long road, but today Jeremiah is healthy, happy, hanging out with a bunch of teens, he sings in our program at schools to help others, plays on softball and basketball teams, and is just enjoying life.
Now, a new school year, and all I could think is, no, we can't go back! Not that the public school is a bad place, (my three older children graduated from the same public school with honors!) just that the bullying and abuse was so brutal for Jeremiah. So I really prayed about the situation, "Okay God if it's your will for Jeremiah to go back to the public school, then fine, so be it, but if not and he's better off here, please let him make the right decision."
A few days after I prayed that prayer, Jeremiah came to me. "Mom, is it okay if I change my mind? I've been thinking about everything and I just feel that I should stay home."
I gave him a huge hug! "Of course it's okay!
The best part is, he made the decision on his own, and this year the school, counselors and doctors are totally supporting that decision too, and he'll be able to travel with us to other schools and share his story of survival and hope!
For more on bullying and verbal abuse--read our Feature Story "No More Hiding" a true story I wrote for Guideposts about a teen girl who was teased, but instead of being crushed, she rose above it all... story can be found @ (www.abusebites.com) on our What's New Page...
Good Luck going back to school...
Have an abuse-free day :)
-Lisa Freeman
The courage rendered in his voice, along with the positive changes I'd seen in the past six months, made tears come to my eyes. He'd come so far. Could he really go back and rise above the peer pressure, bullying, and verbal abuse? I swallowed hard, trying to hold back my emotion.
"Really?"
"Yeah, I'd like to try."
The past year of torment he suffered--we suffered, flashed before my eyes. I rationed... But he is 16, I have to let him make his own decision. My heart raged... No, not again!
As Jeremiah went out to shoot hoops I sat in silence, pondering all the things that had happened over the past year. It all began on the first day of school, when a couple kids started calling him names.
Within minutes, Jeremiah got really sick, his face turned gray, he was all sweaty, and couldn't breath. We later learned at the hospital that he had suffered a full blown panic attack. Since I'd battled panic too, I completely understood how scary having an episode can be, especially when you don't know what's happening. Still we tried to encourage him that he needed to go back to school to overcome this thing.
But every day as the bullying increased, so did his level of anxiety. We called for an emergency IEP meeting at school, and brainstormed with all the professionals.
The doctors, social workers and therapists all tried to come up with a solution to keep him in school. Nothing they suggested alleviated the stress or the deep depression that would soon follow. We wanted him schooled at home from the beginning, because the pressure was just too much. But all the professionals told us that the best thing for Jeremiah and his panic disorder was that he stay in school. In a way I knew they were right--to overcome panic you can't keep yourself isolated, but at the same time, he would need to feel safe and be in a safe place, without being bullied, while healing.
So, under a doctors care, Jeremiah started taking prescribed medication for anxiety. They even tweaked his schedule so he'd only have to go half days. We were hopeful with the new meds and schedule everything would get better, but little did we know our son was on a downward spiral.
Not only did the bullying and verbal abuse at school continue and intensify to the point that his life was threatened, but he started cutting and became suicidal. (I later learned that he had wrapped a belt around his neck 3 times!) He was crying out for help, yet none of us were listening to pain he suffered in silence, behind closed doors.
Thankfully, one night he opened up to me. When I found out everything he was going through, I was heartbroken, devastated, and had no idea what to do. Here we sat helplessly, with our totally despondent tearful son in the padded room at Emergency searching for answers. He had so much depression and shame he wouldn't even look the doctor in the eye as he answered questions.
I shook my head in disbelief. How did we get here? It didn't seem real. With all the medical professionals, the whole school board, and two parents who loved their child more than anything, how could this possibly happen? I felt we had failed Jeremiah and everyone around us had failed him too. I was an abuse advocate traveling to all these schools, teaching kids how to get out of abuse, and here I sat dumbfounded.
But I wasn't giving up, and thankfully neither was Jeremiah.
In November I told the school, doctors, and social workers I'd had enough. "Jeremiah is going to be home schooled and that is final." By this point, no one was arguing. Still, the only way his counselor would allow it is if Jeremiah did not isolate himself. So over the next several months, we made an effort to get Jeremiah out into the public with peers his own age. Jeremiah fought panic, bullying, and abuse everywhere he went, but he overcame every obstacle in his way!
It has been a very long road, but today Jeremiah is healthy, happy, hanging out with a bunch of teens, he sings in our program at schools to help others, plays on softball and basketball teams, and is just enjoying life.
Now, a new school year, and all I could think is, no, we can't go back! Not that the public school is a bad place, (my three older children graduated from the same public school with honors!) just that the bullying and abuse was so brutal for Jeremiah. So I really prayed about the situation, "Okay God if it's your will for Jeremiah to go back to the public school, then fine, so be it, but if not and he's better off here, please let him make the right decision."
A few days after I prayed that prayer, Jeremiah came to me. "Mom, is it okay if I change my mind? I've been thinking about everything and I just feel that I should stay home."
I gave him a huge hug! "Of course it's okay!
The best part is, he made the decision on his own, and this year the school, counselors and doctors are totally supporting that decision too, and he'll be able to travel with us to other schools and share his story of survival and hope!
For more on bullying and verbal abuse--read our Feature Story "No More Hiding" a true story I wrote for Guideposts about a teen girl who was teased, but instead of being crushed, she rose above it all... story can be found @ (www.abusebites.com) on our What's New Page...
Good Luck going back to school...
Have an abuse-free day :)
-Lisa Freeman
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Fight Back
When we think of being bullied or abused, our first thought is to "fight back". So what do you think, should you fight back when someone's hurting you. ABSOLUTELY!
Every workshop that we present, every teen we talk to, every thing we say definitely teaches people to fight back. We can't just become innocent victims and keep letting these bullies violate us. However, there are certain ways that we can fight back without being violent and creating an even bigger problem.
Things we can do to stop violence, abuse, and bullying:
Every workshop that we present, every teen we talk to, every thing we say definitely teaches people to fight back. We can't just become innocent victims and keep letting these bullies violate us. However, there are certain ways that we can fight back without being violent and creating an even bigger problem.
Things we can do to stop violence, abuse, and bullying:
- Call 911 If You Or Someone You Know Are In Danger and Need Help Right Now
- Stand Up For Ourselves & Others Who Are Being Bullied or Abused (It is estimated that only 1 out of 10 people are bullies--just think of what would happen if those 9 stuck together!)
- Talk To A Friend, Pastor, Parent, Teacher, Adult, or Trustworthy Person About The Abuse
- Report The Abuse
- Don't Think You Deserve It or You Have To Take It--Get Help Before It's Too Late
- Develop A Safety Plan If You're In An Abusive Relationship
- Run Away If You're In Danger, Scream "FIRE" it draws more attention
And remember the abuse cycle, the abuser says their sorry and that they will never do it again. It's up to you to make sure they don't by making better and safer choices. Chances are if they've hurt you once, they're going to keep doing it again--don't be a victim any longer--fight back and be a survivor so you can help others survive too!
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