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Speaker:Breakbullyingcycle

Friday, October 26, 2007
AMY PAYNE
THE SAGINAW NEWS

At only 7 pounds, 3 1/2-month-old Baby Ruth might fight bullies in the ultra-lightweight class, but she's not lacking enthusiasm.

The tiny Chihuahua mix and Snickers, a 9-year-old fox terrier mix, serve as the mascots for ''Take a Bite Out of Abuse,'' the brainchild of Owosso resident Lisa Freeman.

Freeman, an abuse survivor, tours mid-Michigan with her pets to raise awareness about bullying and other forms of abuse. Thursday, she and the dogs visited fifth- through eighth-graders at St. Thomas Aquinas Elementary School in Saginaw Township.

''You can't let bullies abuse you; you have to speak up,'' Freeman said.
Snickers -- wearing a fake leather motorcycle jacket emblazoned with the phrase ''BULLY BUSTER'' in red embroidered letters -- rose to his hind legs and barked.

''You may have to turn the other cheek,'' Freeman continued.
Snickers rolled over.

Mistreatment comes in many forms, Freeman said -- not just pushes and shoves, but emotional manipulation as well.

''A lot of times if people say mean things to us, we don't think it's abuse,'' Freeman said.

''Someone says, 'I'm not going to be your friend if you do that,' '' Freeman said to the students gathered in the parochial school's gymnasium. ''Ever hear that one?''

''Yeah,'' the students replied in unison.

Teens also can abuse themselves, Freeman said, not only in physical ways like cutting or drug abuse, but by constantly blaming themselves, maintaining a poor body image or staying in an abusive relationship.

''We can bully ourselves by trying to be cool, look cool or be something we're not,'' Freeman said.

She tailors her presentations to the age group she's talking with. For elementary students such as the ones at St. Thomas Aquinas, she'll focus on bullying; as the audience gets older, the talk shifts to relationship violence and self-abuse.

The cycle of abuse continues because victims often turn on others so they can feel better, Freeman said.

''I was both bullied and a bully when I was growing up,'' she said. ''It felt good to have that power.

''By fifth grade, I was the one everyone was afraid of -- but it was because I didn't feel good about myself.''

Using her full name -- Elisabeth A. Freeman -- she penned several books, including ''Run For Your Life,'' a fictionalized account of some of her experiences as a 13-year-old teen runaway living with a violent boyfriend.

Freeman said she hopes teens take her life as an example ''so they never make the bad choices that I did,'' she said.

To drive the message home, Freeman had several students illustrate how sticking together can help stop bullying. Nine students took one end of a tug-of-war rope, and another student -- the ''bully'' -- took the other.
When both sides keep struggling against each other with force, no one goes anywhere. But ''if we let go in a bullying situation, the bully falls down,'' Freeman said.

For more information on Abuse Bites, call Freeman at (989) 729-2124 or visit www.abusebites.com.

Amy Payne is a staff writer for The Saginaw News. You may reach her at 776-9687.

©2007 Saginaw News
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