MY FIRST LOVE
I had no idea when I met my boyfriend at 13 that he would be abusive. It seemed like love at first sight. Something you'd read about in a fairy tale. So when he became jealous, controlling, or slapped me, I just thought he did it because he loved me. After all, he was all I dreamed about. I loved him so much I even ran away with him just so we could be together all the time.
I'd never been out of my small hometown, let alone hitchhiked before. But he assured me everything would be okay, I just needed to follow his lead. He led me into a whole new world. I had to lie, steal, cheat, beg, borrow, and scam people just to survive. Yet I was homeless, starving, cold, and wanted to go home many times. He told me if I did we'd never be together again.
So I continued living on the streets where I was kidnapped, beaten, raped, forced into prostitution & topless dancing, not to mention using drugs and alcohol just to kill the pain. But nothing was more terrifying and painful, than when my boyfriend turned on me in a violent rage and became the person he promised he would never become--his alcoholic abusive father.
When he was sober he was a different person. He'd hold me in his arms and cry, promising he would never hurt me again. I believed him. Time and time again. I even married him, when I turned 16, with my parents consent. But his drunken rages became more frequent and violent until one day he nearly killed me. That's the day I barely escaped!
I want girls to know my story, and that most of the time, if you're in an abusive or controlling relationship, it usually doesn't get better. My husband went to counseling and everything like that, but he only got worse. So, please do yourself a favor if you see this same abusive pattern in your life, get out before it's too late.
A friend of mine, 19-year-old Susie Crim, wasn't so fortunate. The night she tried to end her abusive relationship with her boyfriend, he met her at their apartment and shot her in the neck. Now she's paralyzed from the shoulders down. It's sad to say, but actually, she's one of the lucky ones. Because today many parents are having to plan their daughter's funerals.
That's why I wrote my book "Run For Your Life" to help other girls/women not to make the same mistakes I did. So they won't end up like me, Susie, or even worse. My prayer and hope is for them is to RUN TO LIFE, not to all the things I did.
As most of us know, our first love can be so romantic, awesome, and wonderful, but it can also turn deadly if we aren't careful and catch the warning signs.
So, please if you start to see signs of control and physical violence in your relationship, do yourself a favor, and get out or get help. Because LOVE IS NOT ABUSE, and you don't have to keep suffering. You have rights. You do have a choice--so CHOOSE LIFE before it's too late!
*And let me clarify, that although I've been abused by men my whole life, there are a lot of girls and women who abuse guys too. And now there is also help available for them.
WARNING SIGNS
Parents if you think your daughter /son may be a victim of dating violence
Click Here
GET HELP
Call 9-1-1
or
Your National Domestic Abuse Hotline @
1-800-799-7233
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