Typically I'm not an MTV fan. However, when a girl who recently went through my pet therapy class facebook'd me and said, "You might want to watch this new TV show 'If You Really Knew Me' I think it would be something awesome to add to your anti-bullying program for high school students."
The program was amazing! I loved the show from beginning to end. What an eye opener! After watching this show, I hope we can take bits and pieces to incorporate them into our presentation. WOW!
During the first part of the show, you see the teens separated into various groups, preps, outcasts, popular, nerds, etc. But then students participate in a one-day program "Challenge Day" that breaks down the walls of separation. I watched how they interacted with the students to do various activities, and how the students began to break down emotionally. It was amazing! I loved when they split up into small groups and each shared something that no one would know about them. They purposely put the outcasts, nerds, and popular people together.
But the best part of all was when they asked all the students to stand together in back of the blue line. Then one by one they'd call out things like, "if you've ever been affected by someone close to you dying, someone or yourself taking drugs or alcohol, physically hit by a brother or sister, being yelled or screamed at, put down on a regular basis step over the line." Nearly all the kids stepped over. Then they said, "See, you're never alone. Someone else is going through the same stuff you are."
It was awesome to see the outcasts, nerds, and popular people all hugging each other. As I wiped the tears from my eyes, I thought about my own life. How I wished they had a program like this when I was growing up. Maybe I wouldn't have run away. Maybe I wouldn't have been so abused. Maybe I would have had friends.
If you really knew me, you'd know that all my life I felt like an outcast. In my family. At school. Even at church. People just didn't seem to accept me. I'm still very lonely and don't have many friends. Every church I've been in people have tight cliques and although they may say Hi and give me a hug sometimes, I still feel like that outcast on the outside looking in. My kids are all different and have special needs; they are often outcasts and not accepted either. I cry and ask God why sometimes.
If you really knew me you'd know that I didn't graduate from school. That I dropped out in 7th grade to run away with an older boyfriend. I was beaten, raped, kidnapped, and forced into dancing and prostitution. And I was homeless for two years because when I thought about going home, my boyfriend would beg me to stay telling me that we would never see each other again if I went home. This same boyfriend nearly beat me to death on our wedding night when I was 16. (Check out Lisa's book based on her true story)
If you really knew me, you'd know that in my second marriage my husband was supposedly a Christian man addicted to pornography, which was blamed on me from pastors and counselors for years. You'd know that I kept trying to be a better wife and please him, even though he had numerous affairs and gave me VD. You'd know that he later molested our three children. And you'd know that when I did kick him out, that he kidnapped my children and I had to pretend to get back with him to get them in my custody, and then sneak off to a shelter with them one day while he was at work. (Check out my book based on our true story, "The Pictures That Destroy The Mind" )
If you really knew me, you'd know that me, my entire family, and even our dogs have been abused. My eldest son was a cutter and nearly committed suicide. My daughter was called gay, was emotionally impaired, and almost strangled to death by another student. My youngest son was nearly bullied to death in high school. And my son, Brian is autistic, only has two chambers in his heart, and needs a heart transplant. (Check out our entire family/even our dog's various healings)
If you really knew me, you'd also know that I overcome fear every day to speak and share my story of abuse survival. You'd know that sometimes I feel overwhelmed and depressed and like I have no one to turn to. (Check out a Vision Lisa had that keeps her going)
If you really knew me, you'd know that I struggle in my marriage even though I'm married to a wonderful Christian now, I fall in my Christian walk, and I'm having a hard time with all the emotions that go along with menopause. (Check out Lisa's healing testimony)
If you really knew me, you'd know that it breaks my heart every time a child is bullied; a teen even thinks of suicide or becomes a victim of dating violence. You'd know that I want to do more to help, in the schools, churches, and communities abroad. And you'd also know that I couldn't go out and do any of this if God hadn't brought me Snickers. (Lisa & Snickers story)
If you really knew me, you'd know that a lot of people attack me and get the wrong idea about me. That I only want to do God's will, not my own. That I don't care about fame or fortune, I just care about reaching others and helping them heal from abusive lifestyles. And helping them so they don't make the same bad choices I made.
If you really knew me, you'd know that sometimes I just want to give up. Doing a ministry, non-profit, training dogs, and caring for four adult children with special needs is a ton of work.
If you really knew me, you'd know that I have learned to give it all to God. He is the reason I do and can do anything I do. I get excited and afraid every time I know I'm going to speak or write. The excitement comes from knowing I will hopefully be able to help others, the fear comes from all the abuse and rejection I suffered. People even in the church have rejected me, my book, and my testimony and made me feel like dirt, and like I'm not as good as them.
If you really knew me, you'd know that I have learned to surrender to Jesus. He was horribly rejected and abused too. I want to be like him, so I forgive all, realizing that people are just people, they will hurt us, but if we don’t forgive them, we hurt ourselves far more.
Like Paul says in Philippians 3:14, "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Check out this enlightening Interview with one of the students for Challenge Day: http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2010/07/19/mtvs-really-knew-breaks-boundaries-high-school-time/
2 comments:
If you really knew me, you would know that in my early teenage years I lived in an emotionally abusive home. My mothers boyfriend was a severe alcoholic and would scream at us and throw things. There were countless nights that my sister and I slept together because we were afraid that things would escalate more and we didn't want to be alone. If you really knew me, you would know that the reason my mother, sister, and I moved all the way to Alaska was to get away from the abuse and we were crushed when unforseen problems forced us to come back into that situation. If you really knew me, you would know that since 12 years old I have struggled with major depression and have contemplated suicide on several occasions, even to this day I struggle. You would know that my life is not nearly as perfect as I like to pretend. Even when I'm smiling, just know that I too, am hurting inside.
Erica: so sorry for all the emotional abuse you suffered. Sometimes that can be worse than the physical. Sorry about the depression & suicidal thoughts. Just want you to know I'm always here if you want to talk, get together, laugh, go for a walk, eat, watch TV, ANYTHING! I think you ROCK! And I'd love to get to know you better :)
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