Bully Dogs or Healing Dogs? You Decide

Amazingly enough, dogs are just like people. When trained in a loving, caring home with the right discipline, your dog will most likely be well-mannered. However, if a dog is left untrained or the owners use abuse tactics as a form of discipline, they can easily end up with a BULLY DOG.

Speaking of bully dogs. A couple of weeks ago I was out with one of our volunteers walking our two small dogs, Lover, our 7-month-old Yorkie and Baby Ruth, (pictured right) our 5-year-old Min-Pin, Rat Terrier, Chihuahua mix.

It was hot day, 85 degrees. A real scorcher.

In desperate need of shade we crossed the street to where we could see some trees overshadowing the sidewalk. We hadn’t walked a block and all of a sudden out of nowhere I heard two pitbulls barking ferociously and growling. I spotted them behind a fence in a big back yard.

Then, before I knew what had happened, one of them cleared the 5-foot fence and pounced at my feet with its mouth wide open, ready to sink its jaws into my 3 ½ pound Yorkie. It all happened so fast. I quickly pulled Lover by the leash and harness into my arms, snatching him out of the dogs reach. But then the pit bull jumped up on me, still trying to get at the pup. I pushed him away. Then he lunged at my volunteer, now going after Baby Ruth.

“No!” I shrieked, trying to hide my fears, while yelling (some not very kind words!), hoping the people who owned the dog might hear the ruckus and come running.

No such luck.

My whole body quivered, thinking this dog was going to tear us apart and have us for lunch. 

Finally the trainer inside of me took over and I gained my composure. “Go home!” I commanded sternly. Holding out my arm I pointed back toward the house. “Get! Go!”

The dog actually heeded to my commands and circled the yard, trying to get back into the fenced area. Seeing our chance to get away, we quickly crossed the street. Still shaking, I called the police. Strangely I haven't heard a word from them since. However, I did read an article in the newspaper about a man being attacked by a pit bull in the same area of town on the same exact day this happened to us. Coincidence? I think not.

Do I blame the dog? No! Do I hate pit bulls? No, not on your life! Do I think that this dog’s owners should have taken better care and precautions? Yes, absolutely! 

As a dog trainer, people come to me all the time and want me to fix their dogs. I’ve heard it all… “My dog barks.” “My dog bites.” “My dog jumps.” “My dog runs away.” “My dog won’t come when I call it.”

Nine times out of ten, it’s usually the owners who are to blame for their dogs unruly, bad, or bully behavior. However, there are certain dogs, that have been rescued from abusive lifestyles that are much harder to train and break of bad behaviors. I have worked with many.

Baby Ruth (pictured above) was a BULLY DOG. She was the worst dog I ever had. During her first year she wasn't housebroken, she chewed up everything, barked non-stop, and wouldn't come when we called her. I wanted to get rid of her a million times. But instead, I loved her, disciplined her, and worked with her and worked more with her. And because I did, today she is so much better and wonderful to be around!

I've found over the years that consistency, along with a balance of reward and discipline go hand in hand, to train up a good, safe, healthy dog that won’t bully.

Like people, all dogs are different.

My formerly abused, runaway pooch, Snickers, passed the therapy dog test after just ten days of training. (pictured left)  He's very obedient and would do anything to please me. We have that sort of connection and bond.

Together we’ve won numerous awards and made tracks all over Michigan to raise awareness about abuse, bullying and violence, but also to bring healing to others. I've come to understand that dogs can heal in a way humans cannot. Snickers has healed everyone in our family, as well as many others.

I've read that the mere presence of dogs produce positive endorphine's in the human brain, that actually promote health and healing.

During the twelve years we've had Snickers, he has not only brought healing to our lives, but he has served as the Mascot of our Abuse Bites program, won 2nd place in the Curwood Dog show, became the first Mayor of the Shiawassee County Humane Society for raising the most funds, and has worked right along side me training other dogs and handlers the ropes of pet therapy.

As an owner of three totally different dogs, working as a dog trainer, and now as an AKC Canine Good Citizen Evaluator, I believe with all my heart, that a trained dog is a happy and healthy dog. When your dog is happy and healthy, that healing pours over onto you, your family and others. Baby Ruth has been a tough cookie, but having to work so hard with her, has actually caused me to love her more and have an even closer bond with her.

Below I've listed some tips that I believe will help you train your dog. If you practice these basic obedience methods and keep working with your pup, before you know it, you'll be amazed. Instead of a bully dog, you will experience a dog with good manners and the true healing that can come from having a close canine companion. Good Luck!

(These pictures were taken during our spring 2012 obedience class).

#1 The Come or Recall Command-

This command is the most important in training your dog. To begin, use a favorite treat or toy. Say "Ruthy, Come!" When the dog or pup comes to you, reward them immediately (with a treat/toy/or something they like). Practice this several times a day. You can also use a partner, as we do in our classes, and have them hold your dog on a leash while you give the "come" command and then they walk your dog to you. After your dog seems to understand the command, back off on the treats and give love and affection. Always use positive reinforcement when they come to you. If they don't come at first, you can also use a leash and corral them around toward you. Never get angry with them. If at first they don't understand, they will learn to come, if you remain patient and optimistic. If they run from you and won't come, but eventually do come, do not scold them, instead praise them and they will want to keep coming back to you.

#2 The Sit Command-

This command is 2nd most important in training your dog. To begin, have your dog come to you and face you. While holding a treat upright in the tips of your fingers and thumb, curve your wrist, holding treats more facing you, while placing your hand in front of the dogs nose and command, "Ruthy, Sit." Typically this will cause a dog to sit back. As soon as they sit, praise them and give the treat. If they did not sit, you try to nudge their hind quarters by pressing down to help them into a sitting position. You can also put them on a leash, give a slight tug backward while commanding, "Ruthy, Sit." Give them a treat (reward/toy) as soon as they sit and praise them by saying, "Good Sit."  Repeat often, using short training intervals. Once they master this command, try to wean them from the treats and use more positive reinforcements.

#3 The Stay Command-

This command is 3rd most important in training your dog. After your dog learns the sit command you can teach them to stay. To begin, have your dog sit in front of you, put your hand out like a stop sign and command, "Ruthy, Stay!" Take one step back, and then toward them again. If they remained in place the entire time, reward with a treat and praise saying, "Good Stay!" If they get up or move, instantly correct them, put them back into a sit, and command them to stay. Then take the step back and forward as before. As they begin to understand and obey, you can move further and further away from them. Remember to always praise them, whether with a small treat, kind word, play time, or affection.


#4 The Down Command-

This command is a must for all dog owners who will want to put their dog in a long stay. After your dog learns to come and sit, "down" is much easier to teach. To begin, have your dog sit, then with a treat in hand coax them down. Start at their nose and make a straight motion to the floor while saying, "Down!"

If this doesn't work you can try to press between their shoulders, lift their front legs, and guide them down gently. If this doesn't seem to be successful, you can also use a leash and give a slight tug while instructing them to go down.  By using treats and other affirmative gestures, your dog will understand this command, then you can begin to work on the "Down Stay".



#5 The Down Stay Command-

This command is a necessity for any dog owner. After your dog learns the sit and down commands, you can teach them "down stay". To begin, command your dog to "Down" then put your hand out like a stop sign in front of you and command "Stay!" and begin to walk away. Reward them if they have stayed. When using the long stay command, dog's will also need a release command. You can choose any word that works for you, I personally use "Release" or "Go". If your dog releases before you allow them to, make them go back to the down stay position and repeat. This is great for when they need to stay for longer periods, like when you're eating dinner, have company, or someone is at the door.

Just remember, practice makes perfect, but also note, dogs have short attention spans. So try to teach them in small intervals throughout the day, rather than long lengthy sessions. And always use positive words of affirmation and loving gestures. Your dog loves you and will respond better to your love and affection than any form of negative discipline. And before you know it, your little bully, will be like our Baby Ruth, happy, healthy, and way more obedient!

Written by: Lisa Freeman, Certified Pet Therapist & Dog Trainer, AKC Canine Good Citizens Evaluator, Owosso, MI / Founder & CEO of AbuseBites.com/ Healing Projects Specialist Bully Police USA

Has Bullying Stopped or Gone Viral?

HAS BULLYING STOPPED or HAS IT TAKEN A WHOLE OTHER DIRECTION? 

Take a good look around the good old USA. Your neighborhood. What do you think... has bullying decreased, increased, or stayed the same?

A recent study at a high school in Massachussettes indicates they are getting fewer reports on student bullying according to statistics from surveys in 2011. What do you think? Is bullying getting better at your local schools? Maybe this school has some tips we can all learn from! Get the full story here.

With school being out for the summer, parents aren't contacting us here at Abuse Bites so much.

Yet, I've read story after story about kids being singled out, beaten and horribly victimized. One 10 year old boy was even burned with a lighter on a bus! Video Here

When interviewed about bullying teens said things like, you don't want to be the little kid who sits by himself at the lunch table. But bullying is far worse than just the lunch room these days. Cyber bullying stalks kids 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Five kids from the Boys and Girls Club of Kansas City said they had been mean online, but had never been bullied themselves. More

Jack Joblonski was paralyzed during a hockey game in December, when his spine was severed and he was told he'd never walk again. Recently he was bullied on twitter. Read how he overcame his bullies and even his disability.

Cyber Bullying has a viral spread that we must constantly keep up to date on. It used to be simply bad/negative words in text, now it is hate pages on facebook (two middle school girls were even arrested) and sexting, sending sexual images via cell phone/computer. Kids and teens don't realize how someone can take that image and use it against them. More

Sadly, kids are still taking their lives or being bullied to death. Joel Morales of New York, only 12, committed suicide in May, after bullies tormented him about his father's death.

It's tough as parents to sit by and watch our kids be hurt and wither away to nothing. But we can't very well, fight back like this father, and hire someone to beat our kids bully. More About This Story

So what are parents to do?

Parents can get help, thankfully. They can partner with us here, at Abuse Bites, to bring programs like ours which educates on current bullying themes and safety measures to take as well as provides the healing that victims, bystanders, and bullies need. We're offering FREE WORKSHOPS right now in a contest. Check it out! More about us and what we offer.

There is also a new software on the market that will allow you to keep track of and protect your kids and family while on line and via cell. Check out this link for more helpful info.

by Lisa Freeman, CEO Abuse Bites

Bullying Happens In Summer Too!

BULLYING HAPPENS IN SUMMER TOO!

You might take a vacation in the summer, but bullying doesn't!

As a child, teen and even adult I was abused and bullied more than I ever shared.

My mom wasn’t one of those mothers you could talk to. She rarely cried and didn’t want any of us kids moping or having problems. When I had night terrors as a child, she took me to the doctor and they prescribed me sleeping pills. Still I woke up many times at night in a sweat, gasping for air. I thought I was dying. But it was just panic attacks and post traumatic stress syndrome from all the abuse I suffered.

Back then we had lots of sexual predators in the neighborhood. But today, sexual predators and bullies can get to your children 24 hours a day 7 days a week via the internet and or their cell phones.

Dr. Jennifer Caudle of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey-School of Osteopathic Medicine states says, “Bullying can happen wherever kids gather – in school, at summer camp or in cyberspace. Bullying isn’t just limited to the classroom. Talking with your kids about bullying is just as important in the summer as it is during the school year – especially when it is time to head to summer camp.” 

To learn more about how to talk to your kids about bullying Read Dr. Jennifer Caudle news story here. 

Check out Lisa's Other New Blog Site!

Should A Victim Forgive His Bully? DISCUSSION

SHOULD A VICTIM FORGIVE HIS BULLY? 

YOU TELL ME/ OPEN DISCUSSION

Today, school's many times do not hold the bullies responsible for their actions. Sometimes they even blame the victims and punish them. Then what?

This victim is told by the school to forgive his bully and suck it up and return to school with the bully...

Click the link to read this story  http://bit.ly/LT7yLP

Please share your thoughts--we want to hear from you!

A TRIBUTE TO ALL VICTIMS & HEROES of BULLYING

Happy Birthday in Heaven Brian. RIP

No More Hurtful Words & Painful Surgeries.

Losing a child is probably by far the hardest thing a parent has to face. So my heart goes out to all VICTIMS & HEROES of Bullying & Abuse and their families today!

A Tribute to my son, Brian and all Victims & Heroes of Bullying & Abuse:

Although you've only been gone for nearly two years, it seems like forever. However, I can still see your smile, feel your love and compassion for others, and the drive you had to stop abuse, bullying and violence.

Last year on your birthday, we launched 23 balloons from your grave site, with messages written on them and cards attached to stop bullying in your memory.

This year on 6/27/2012, we launched our brand new website in your memory and honor to continue your mission to CHANGE HEARTS & SAVE LIVES and stop bullying in the USA. Love and hugs all the way to heaven!

I Wanted To Change, But How?

I remembered saying this one time prayer in the fifth grade at a school release program to accept Jesus into my heart. I prayed the words, I wanted it to be real, but it never felt real to me. 

I wasn’t new and different like they said I would be. I felt exactly the same, having the same shameful feelings from all of those boys and men in our neighborhood who had put their hands and bodies all over me. I didn’t feel loved and accepted. I felt dirty and like God was angry with me and could never accept me. 

Inside I wanted to do right, but it seems I always did wrong. I wanted to share the secrets that had been bottled up inside me since I was a small little girl, but I knew no one would believe me and they’d probably even blame me for it, since I hadn't stopped those guys from doing all those evil things.  

At 13 I ran away with my boyfriend to try to escape the evil things. I remember our first night together, it was winter and I was freezing cold and exhausted from walking through town and after town, no ride, no shelter. 

I cried. I wanted to go home. But he threatened that if I went home, I’d be locked up in a girl’s institution (like the judge had said), and we’d never see each other again. 

So I stayed through it all, even his drunken beatings. I guess in part I was thinking I had no other choice, or that I deserved it, but I always held out hope that since this guy swore he loved me, that I somehow had this special power to change him.

I finally realized after marrying him at 16, when he nearly beat me to death, that I couldn’t change him.

The truth is, I can’t change anybody else. I can only change me. 

But at that time I didn’t know how to change me. My life was hopeless. I knew I couldn’t live with him, but I didn’t think I could live without him either. So I kept going back like a yo-yo dangling on a string.

  

Thankfully God heard my hearts cry and intervened. 

My husband left to go see his family for two weeks. Normally he'd make me go with him, but he gave me a choice. Of course I said no. Who would want to be around a houseful of drunken, abusive, maniacs for that long?

I was afraid of being alone, yet I stayed there in that big empty house all by myself. After all the abuse I suffered, I couldn’t sleep nights, as I was terrified someone was going to break in and kill me. 

My life revolved around fear. I had no peace. The only time I could get a couple hours of rest was in the morning after the sun came up.

Little did I know all of that was about to change. In fact, my whole life, as I knew it, was about to change.

After a few days of partying and sleeping with anyone just so I wouldn't be alone, I felt more empty and lonely than ever. But even worse, our phone wasn't working. So I hurried over to our neighbors to call the phone company.

But our neighbor didn’t answer her door, another lady did. She said she had heard all about me and invited me in. I could only guess what she had heard! But still I made the call. Busy. As I sat there waiting for the line to clear, this lady began telling me about her life. That she had runaway with her older boyfriend too, and had done many of things I did, but there was something different about her. She had a beautiful smile, a radiant glow, an excitement and fire in her voice, a this amazing peace about her.

The more she talked, I wanted what she had.

She began to tell me how she got FREE. How she met a man named Jesus and how he came into her heart and changed her whole life and took all her fears away. 

When I left she said she’d be glad to talk or pray with me at any time.  So I went home to clean my house and I couldn’t stop thinking about her or what she said. Finally I got up the courage to go back over and ask her to pray with me.

As she sat in my living room next to me praying, suddenly I couldn’t hear her. My ears were completely plugged. I began saying, “I can’t hear you.” My eyes even got really blurry and weird and I started freaking out. So she began shouting, “Say in the name of Jesus! In the name of Jesus! In the name of Jesus!” 

So I started shouting it with her, “In the name of Jesus! In the name of Jesus! In the name of Jesus!” and pretty soon it was like something shot out of my ears and I could hear and see better than I ever had. For once I felt clean and had a peace I’d never known. I wanted everyone to find Jesus and experience this.

Maybe you, like me, have lived in abuse and fear all your life and you need/want a change? Jesus will do the same thing for you as he did for me. We can't change others or even our pasts, but we can change our future. Won't you call out to Jesus today? He'll listen, come into your heart, and be there for you. But you have to be the one to say the prayer and believe.

Jesus was there in 5th grade when I made that prayer, but I didn't let him change me. I didn't know how. At 17, when I prayed the second time, I was ready for change, I was sick of living that miserable life. And today, since I embraced Jesus and his life changing power, my life is amazing!

CHANGE begins with you!

I would love to pray with you or send you a copy of my book "Run For Your Life" about my true life story. So please email me @ abusebites(at)gmail.com and let me know that this blog has touched your heart and you want CHANGE!

Bullies Are Cowards

Bullies are Cowards—I know because I was one. And it’s weird because I hated fighting, the sight of blood, and I never wanted to hurt anyone. But for once, no one was hurting me. And I had this amazing power—people feared me, everyone wanted to be my friend. I ruled. But underneath that tough bully exterior I was always afraid that someone bigger and badder than me would come along and pound my face in. 

There were always new bullies moving in, from Lansing, Flint, and Detroit, who had a worse reputation that I was terrified of. I was afraid to walk up town, go to school, and even leave my house.

I’d like to say I was a hero and I toughed it out in school, but I wasn’t. Instead I ran away and lived on the streets with an older boyfriend who swore to love and protect me. I’d been bullied and abused most of my life, so I was glad to get away from it all. For once I thought I was finally free. But that freedom didn’t last long, because I was even more abused out on the road. For two years we hitchhiked from state to state taking rides with some of America’s most wanted and deadliest.

Aside from being homeless, penniless and starving, I was kidnapped, raped, forced into dancing and prostitution, and nearly killed many times. My own boyfriend even turned on me out there.

But there was one thing that was a sure thing, whenever I would PRAY for food, a ride, or to be saved from a near death situation, God always came through in a miraculous way and answered my prayer. I didn’t understand it, because I knew I wasn’t living right, didn’t deserve it, but when I cried out to him, he heard me.

God is good! Even to Cowards & Bullies! Because God understands that bullies are usually hurt, abused, terrified individuals, just like me! If you've been the bully or bullied all your life, why not get free today? I did!

For more about Lisa Freeman, speaking, or her book "Run For Your Life" based on her true story of being an abused teen runaway, log onto abusebites.com.