It was very awkward for us, as this was our first time doing this, so we didn't know anything or anyone. Thanks to our clock not working right in our room, we were later than everyone else for hors d'oeuvres so when we arrived at the event, the line for the food was long, but all the tables in the room, that sat anywhere from 6-12 had been taken.
Memories from school flooded back, of being the new kid, and that awkward moment of trying to find a seat in the crowded lunchroom with everyone staring at you. Wondering which table you should go to and be accepted.
After nervously scanning the room, I quickly glanced at the first table inside the door to our left. There were two couples on one end of the round table and it looked as though there were at least three empty seats. "Would it be okay if we set with you or are those seats taken?" I asked.
Everyone welcomed us to sit fine. But you know that kind of awkward silence that fills the air? Yep, you guessed it, we were right in the middle of it. They kept talking in their little group, and left us out. I thought, "This is going to be a long night."
I had really prayed that we'd have fun, because John and I hardly ever get out alone together. So I was really glad, when we were able to break the ice with some small talk, which ended up leading to a night of hysterical laughter and new friendships.
When the couples moved to a bigger table with more of their friends, they invited us to join them. And one of the couples even tried to take pictures of John and I while we were dancing with our messed up camera (all pics they took were blurry!).
Yep, that's my back and John's hands!
This evening could have been a disaster or the blessing it was.
Every day we have the choice to accept and include others and also to be accepted and included. It's hard sometimes after being rejected so long (like I have been) to take that first awkward step, but it is that initial step that will set us free and get us walking in a new direction.
I've battled with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder all of my adult life. But this year, I'm forcing myself to step into the awkward.
It's out with the OLD and in the NEW! I hope you will do the same :)
God bless you all and Happy New Year!
